Make Him Move On
by PineAppleLint
Summary: A romantic tale that involves a young bar wench named Anastasia Walker trying to steal the grieving Will Turner's heart, and June Oleander, a female pirate who just loves getting on the infamous Sparrow's nerves. The four unite and hijinks ensue...
1. Making Impressions

Author's Note: I am being bad and posting this fic before writing a sequel to Meeting His Match. All you MHM fans out there, I'm sorry and don't hurt me. To anyone reading, I hope you enjoy.  
  
-PineAppleLint  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own any of Disney's noble characters, nor do I own the song "The Cellblock Tango" from Chicago.  
  
Dedication: To my good friend Katie, who without her help, writing this fic would not be possible.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
It was a night like any other, just the way she liked it. She was beginning to enjoy the daily ritual she found herself taking part in. Here she was, standing at the bar, cleaning it was a stained cloth, listening to him as he poured his heart out from behind a mug of the strongest rum they had in the place.  
  
He was a daily customer now. Every night, around the same time, he would waltz in and sit down, briefly smiling at her before his face set in a grim expression. She would hand him his usual, their hands would touch for an instant, and she would wink at him, asking him how his day had gone.  
  
William Turner. How the name rolled off of her lips like the sweetest of all sounds, savoring it in her mouth. Those deep chocolate brown eyes, that wild dark brown hair tied into a loose ponytail, the small goatee and sharp face structure. But most of all, that captivating voice got to her. The kind of voice that was made for romancing.  
  
His fiancé had died two months ago and he had been drowning in a pit of despair ever since. What was the lass's name.........Elizabeth? Ah, yes. It was. Every time he spoke of her, his face lit up with longing and love as if she was still alive and not rotting in the ground somewhere. The deepest kind of love that made her sigh with a certain need that she wanted fulfilled.  
  
"How about another, Anastasia?" he asked, finishing off the mug she had settled in front of him only moments before.  
  
"William, darling, by the rate your going you are going to be rightfully smashed in fifteen minutes or so," she said, wiping her hands on her crimson skirts.  
  
He gave her a small smile and she instantly melt, her hands betraying her as they reached for the half empty bottle of the Drunken Wench's finest.  
  
"Have a hard day?" she said softly, pouring more liquor into his mug.  
  
"It was fine. Finished off a couple of swords today."  
  
"You make your customers very happy, Will. No doubt about it!" Ana replied, desperately trying to cheer him up, "Always did have a way with your hands."  
  
He cocked an eyebrow at her and she instantly flushed, realizing how dirty that simple phrase sounded.  
  
"ANA!" a loud voice boomed.  
  
She glanced over to find her boss glaring daggers at her, shaking his finger.  
  
"No social time in here! Not on my watch!" he growled.  
  
"Yes sir. Anything ye say, sir," she said hastily. Before she moved to a few other tables she leaned in close to Will and whispered, "Ol' Joe always did have somethin' stuck up his arse."  
  
Will chuckled and Ana beamed instantly. His laughter was one of the finest rewards she could have ever been granted.  
  
"Enjoy yourself, mate," she added, patted him on the back, and began to clean some far off tables, which were littered with booze, glass, and rotten food.  
  
"Dirty slobs," she hissed as she scrubbed viciously.  
  
It was late, she realized. Joe began to sweep up the floors and the drunken pirates slowly made their ways out, singing off key and flailing themselves into the streets. Soon, only Will was left.  
  
And a stranger hidden in the dark corner.  
  
Ana made her way slowly around the mysterious man, cleaning up plates and mugs until his husky, weathered voice said quietly, "Me bonny lass, I was wonderin' if ye could help me out with somethin'."  
  
She paused and slowly looked up. The man was grinning mischievously, a few gold teeth glinting in the dim lamplight. There was a tricorne hat propped sideways on his head, long brown dreadlocks cascading past his shoulders had beads weaved intricately in them. He wore dark kohl around his brown eyes. He had beautiful cheekbones, and a goatee parted in two small braids. He was clad in a heavy coat, his large sea boots propped up on another chair.  
  
The man was definitely a pirate.  
  
"And who might you be, sir?" she questioned with a hand on her hip.  
  
"Cap'n Jack Sparrow at yer service, luv," he answered, nodding slightly with a crooked smile.  
  
She smothered a gasp. Surely this man could not be the pirate she had heard stories of throughout the years? The infamous Captain Jack Sparrow. The man who sacked Nassau Port without firing a single shot, killed a whole crew of rogue skeleton pirates, escaped a godforsaken spit of land on a raft made of nothing but sea turtles, the man who had pleasurable company in every port?  
  
"I suppose by the look on yer pretty face ye have heard o' me?" Captain Sparrow said with a slight smirk.  
  
"Ah, yes, Mr. Sparrow. Your reputation does precede you. What do you need a bar wench's help for?"  
  
He studied her for a bit before asking, "What's yer name, luv?"  
  
She hesitated before saying, "Anastasia Walker."  
  
"Anastasia. A fine name for a beautiful thing such as yerself. I was wondering what ye could tell me about THAT man," he said, pointing to the bar.  
  
Ana slowly turned her head and found that Jack was pointing directly at Will Turner. Her heart leapt in her throat. Did Jack Sparrow mean to harm him?  
  
"Do you know that man?" she asked after pausing for a moment.  
  
"William Turner. One of the best swordsmen in the Caribbean," Jack said with a nod of his head, "We have met on a previous occasion."  
  
"ANA!" her boss suddenly yelled, "Get yer ass back to work or else I will throw ye out on the streets!"  
  
Jack lazily cocked his head to one side before stating, "Want me to shoot the bugger for ye?"  
  
Ana chuckled a bit before saying hastily, "I have to go. Come back tomorrow night and I will tell ye what I know. Do we have an accord?"  
  
"Yes, young missy. I suppose we do," he said, took her soft hand in his rough one and shook it firmly.  
  
She bowed her head slightly and picked up her tray of dishes, heading back behind the bar. Will was pulling on his coat, grabbing a few shillings and placing them on the table.  
  
"I suppose this is good night then, Miss Walker," he said with a friendly smile.  
  
She almost dropped the tray from the sudden surge of warmth she felt spread from her fingers to her toes.  
  
"Then I shall see you tomorrow night, then?" she asked hopefully.  
  
He placed his hat on his head, tipped it in her direction before proclaiming, "As always. It has been a pleasure," and walked out into the cold, foggy night.  
  
"No, the pleasure is all mine," she whispered to his shadow, then headed into the kitchen to wash her share of the food encrusted dishes.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
The next night she felt jittery, excited that she was getting mixed up in the dealings and whereabouts of Captain Jack Sparrow. She twirled her golden curly hair into a respectable bun atop her head before tying the apron around her slim waist. She stared at the small dirty mirror in the ladies washroom in the back. The glow of the candle illuminated her pixie like features. She had a sharp chin and a sloped nose, making her seem delicate and angelic. Her piercing green eyes examined her features, the flecks of gold in them sparkling in the evening glow.  
  
Men had always offered to pay her for certain 'services', but she always rejected them politely. She just wasn't that kind of girl. Anyways, there was only one man she would give herself to.  
  
And that man was untouchable.  
  
She began her usual job in the Drunken Wench, taking orders and cleaning up spills when necessary. She saw Jack Sparrow sitting in the same dark corner again, surrounded by three or four whores, who were sitting close to him, running their hands along his body in inappropriate places. When she realized he was staring back, he winked at her mercilessly.  
  
She shook her head in disapproval, going back to her chores when Will Turner walked in again. Same time, as always.  
  
Her sorrowful and tired face instantly lit up at the sight of him. He grinned and took his usual seat at the bar.  
  
"Hello, love. Want the usual?" she said cheerily.  
  
"If you have any, Anastasia. That would be wonderful."  
  
"Of course, dearie. Coming right up!" As she reached for the bottle, the door to the tavern slammed open to reveal a person she never thought she would see again.  
  
Ana froze in shock. June Oleander. It couldn't be. When June ran away from home those many years ago, she was a young respectable lady. Standing before her was no lady.  
  
Long wild black hair cascaded down to June's buttocks like a waterfall. Her piercing black eyes scanned the crowd in a determined and cocky manner. A pirate's hat was atop of her head, causing a shadow to fall across her face. She wore a man's breeches and a large white shirt, a large coat over her shoulders. As she walked into the tavern, her boots clunked against the wood. Her red lips were stretched into a thin line but instantly transformed into a huge grin as her gaze fell upon Ana.  
  
"Holy shit, Ana, luv, is that really ye?" She walked unsteadily forward, as if she were drunk, and leaned in close, squinting at her.  
  
"Hell, it is you!" she said with a laugh and pulled Ana into a huge hug.  
  
Ana hugged back and said, "Oh my goodness, you have changed so much!"  
  
"Well I thought I'd stop by for a drink and it's a good thing I did! How have you been?" she asked while taking a seat at a nearby table, motioning for her to sit down.  
  
"I really shouldn't. I'm working," Ana replied.  
  
"Oh, sit down for pete's sake." Ana did so, instantly relaxing.  
  
"ANA! What the hell are you doing?" her boss instantly shouted.  
  
"Hey! Stupid cad! Shut yer hole before I shoot ye between the eyes!" June hollered back.  
  
Ana grinned as she heard her boss "Hmmpf" loudly but remain silent.  
  
"So how is your life? Wow, I can't believe after all this time..." June said with a shake of her head, "So got yourself a man? Is he a looker? Is he good in bed? Share all, share all!"  
  
"June!" Ana laughed, "This is not entirely proper conversation."  
  
"This is not entirely proper conversation," June mocked in a civilized British accent, "Well, darling, do I look fuckin' proper?"  
  
"No, you do not look fuckin' proper."  
  
"There ye go, lass," June said with a nod of her head, "Loosen up a bit. You have been workin' here too long. Kind of drains the fun out of things."  
  
"Not all things," Ana said and her gaze drifted towards Will, who was sitting at the bar still, staring into his mug deep in thought.  
  
June followed her gaze and let out a low whistle.  
  
"Be still me heart," June said and held her chest, "Is that yer love slave?"  
  
"No," Ana said bitterly, "But I do find him quite wonderful."  
  
"Then let me tell him!" June declared and stood up. Ana let out a shriek, grabbed her arm and pulled her back down.  
  
"If you utter a single syllable to him I will flog you!" Ana said in panic.  
  
"I'm just jokin', Ana," June said with a chuckle. Her eyes widened a bit and her mouth formed a slow evil smile. "I have got meself an idea."  
  
"What? What are ye doin'?" Ana asked as June began to peel off her coat.  
  
She jabbed her finger in the direction of the piano and fiddle players who were beginning to set up on stage. "Somethin' tells me that ye need to get dear William's attention."  
  
"And what is your plan?"  
  
"Show him you are not a sweet innocent little virgin," June retorted, pulling her close so she could whisper her plan into her ear, "Now listen up..........."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Fifteen minutes later Joe was introducing them both to the crowd of men. June and Ana stood behind the curtain. June was busy tostling her hair and unbuttoning a few buttons on her white shirt. Ana grinned, jutting one hip out sexily.  
  
"Are ye ready to do this, luv?" June whispered with a wink.  
  
"Ready as ever," Ana whispered back, her eyes twinkling with excitement. This was the day the clumsy, shy bar wench would be gone forever. In her place would be a mysterious, seductive woman.  
  
The men roared as the piano and fiddle began to play a sassy, melodic tune.  
  
"Pop......six........squish........Cicero......" they both began to whisper. As soon as they stepped out from behind the curtain, the crowd went wild. It had been a long time since the Drunken Wench had any good female entertainment.  
  
June and Ana began to perform the exotic dance they had choreographed only minutes before, rolling their hips in perfect unison.  
  
"He had it coming," they sang out, "He had it comin', he had it comin' all along...........if you'd have been there, if you'd have seen it, you'd never tell me that I was wrong!"  
  
Ana glanced quickly at Will, who had straightened up in his seat and was staring at her with wide eyes. She winked at him before saying, "You know how people have these little habits that get you down? Like Bernie. Bernie liked to chew tobacco. No not chew.pop. So I came home this one day and I'm really irritated and I was looking for a little bit of sympathy," she paused, walking sexily through the hooting crowd, "And there was Bernie, lying on the bed, drinking rum and chewing. No, not chewing," she paused next to Will, "Popping! So I said to him, I said if you pop that tobacco one more time........." She sighed dramatically, running a few fingers along his broad shoulders, "And he did. So I took the rifle off the wall and fired two warning shots........Into his head." The crowd hollered and clapped as she headed on stage again.  
  
"He had it comin, he had it coming, he only had himself to blame........if you'd have been there, I you'd have seen it, you would have done the same!" They sang again, doing a few more captivating moves. Ana scanned the crowd quickly, finding Jack Sparrow in the back to be very interested in their little performance. She followed his gaze and realized he was staring at June Oleander.  
  
"I met Ezekiel Young from the Caymans about two years ago. He told me he was single, and we hit it off right away," June said huskily. Ana watched as Jack leaned a little closer in his seat towards the stage. "So we started livin' together. He'd go to work he'd come home.I'd fix him a drink, we'd have dinner........and then I found out.......Single he told me......." she paused, brushing her body against some male pirate in the front, "Single my ASS! Not only was he married......Oh no. He had six wives. One of those Mormons, ye know? So that night when I came home from work, I fixed him his drink.......as usual." She sat in some other man's lap, held up his drink and said thoughtfully, "You know some guys just can't hold their arsenic!" She sat up and joined Ana once more on the stage.  
  
"He had it comin'! He had it comin'! He only had himself to blame! If you'd have been there, if you'd have heard it, I bet ye you would have done the same!" they sang with their beautiful voices. They grabbed each other's hands and began to do intricate dance moves, gracefully going along with the Tango.  
  
Ana lay out lithely on the bar table top, saying, "One day I was at home in the kitchen, carving up a chicken for dinner, minding my own business, when Wilbur storms in in a jealous rage. You've been screwin' the milkman! He said. He was crazy! And he kept on screaming over and over 'you've been screwin' the milkman!'" She paused, sliding her skirts dangerously up her thighs and saying, "He ran into my knife. He ran into my knife ten times!"  
  
"He had it comin!" some of the bar wenches joined in, "He had it comin! He took a flower in its prime! If you'd have been there, if you'd have seen it, It was a murder, but not a crime!"  
  
"My sister Veronica and I had this double act, and my husband Charles traveled around with us. Now in the last number of our act we did these twenty acrobatic tricks in a row: One, two three four five, splits, spreadeagles, backflips, flipflops, one right after the other." June caught Ana's eye and nodded slightly towards her, telling her that it was time for the big surprise. "So one night we were down at the inn Cicero, the three of us boozin', havin' a few laughs, and we ran out of rum, so I go to get some." June caught sight of an intriguing, handsome pirate in the back, deciding it would be a bit of fun to mess with the ol' bloke.  
  
She sashayed over at the exact time Ana walked up to William, who gawked at her. "I came back, opened the door, and there's Veronica and Charles..........doing number seventeen..........the spreadeagle." Ana slowly slid herself in Will's warm lap. His brown eyes darkened as he stared at her curiously. June did the same to Jack Sparrow, the man instantly grabbing a hold of her hips and keeping her intimately pressed against him.  
  
"I was in such a state of shock," June breathed as the men hooted, "I completely blacked out. I can't remember a thing." She ran her lips down the side of Jack's face before saying, "It wasn't until later..........." Anastasia pressed a chaste kiss to Will's temple before removing herself from his lap, walking seductively back up on stage.  
  
"When I was washing the blood off me hands I even knew they were dead," June said and got off of Jack, who had sweat beading on his forehead.  
  
The bar wenches all began to shimmy in their skirts, joining in for the big chorus. "He had it comin! He had it comin! He had it comin' all along! If you'd have been there, if you'd have seen it! You'd never tell me that I was wrong!"  
  
A few more swivels of their hips while whispering, "Pop, six, squish, Cicero..........." and the music faded out and they winked at the crowd, bowing as the men went nuts. Then they disappeared back stage.  
  
"That was incredible!" Ana whispered.  
  
"Will was certainly all hot an' bothered," June said with a shake of her head.  
  
"I see you singled out the infamous Jack Sparrow," Ana said with a sly smile of her own.  
  
"THAT bloke was Jack Sparrow?" June asked with a frown, "Are ye shittin' me?"  
  
"Nope! Introduced himself to me yesterday, he did! No lie!"  
  
"And ye didn't jump his bones? He's a handsome bugger," June said with a wiggle of her eyebrows.  
  
Ana sighed and peered out from behind the curtain. The tavern was it's usual self again.  
  
Except Will Turner was gone.  
  
"Where did he go?" Ana said in frustration, "After all that.........he didn't even bother to stay and talk to the likes o' me."  
  
"Men are tricky, pet," June said wisely, "Probably made him a bit uneasy by yer sudden peak o' interest. Caught him off guard. It isn't easy for a man who's lost someone dear to him."  
  
Ana frowned and said tiredly, "You are absolutely right."  
  
"At least we had ourselves a bit o' fun! Haven't done that in a while!"  
  
"You mean, you've done that before?" Ana said, raising her eyebrows.  
  
June grinned wickedly before saying, "I'm not revealin' nuthin."  
  
"Ana!" a wench called.  
  
"Yes, Violet?" Ana answered.  
  
"Mister Sparrow wishes to speak with you immediately."  
  
"All right. I'll be there in a second." Ana turned to June, who was sitting there calmly, taking in her surroundings.  
  
"Want to come with me?" Ana questioned with a nudge of her elbow.  
  
"Hell no, luv. I best be goin', anyways. Places to be, people to threaten, ye know the whole bit."  
  
"Where will ye be goin'?" Ana asked curiously.  
  
"Wherever the wind takes me, Ana. Ta, luv." She pulled on her coat and hat before adding wickedly from the doorway, "Hope ye get naughty with that Turner lad sometime soon!"  
  
Ana huffed as June disappeared as mysteriously as she had entered.  
  
Ana quickly made herself look presentable and walked out to Jack's table, sitting down next to him. He instantly pulled out a bag of coins and placed it next to her.  
  
"A lovely performance ye put on tonight, pet. Now I need a bit o' information."  
  
"About William Turner?"  
  
Jack stroked his goatee thoughtfully before adding, "And that lass ye were with."  
  
"The one dancing with me?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"William Turner. He comes in here every evening for some strong rum. Has been depressed ever since his fiancé died about two months back............"  
  
"Elizabeth?" Jack questioned with surprise.  
  
"Yes. How did you know?"  
  
"I used to know the lass. A pity. They were always waltzing around like two love birds." He took the hat from his head and placed it on his heart and said, "God rest her soul."  
  
"Yes. She was very nice woman, or so I was told. He works at the blacksmithery most of his wakeful hours, probably trying to rid himself of her memory by straining himself with hard labor. I'm worried about him, Captain Sparrow."  
  
"Well, well. This is interesting," Jack murmured, "And I know exactly what to do."  
  
"And what is that?"  
  
"He needs some cheering up! An adventure!" Jack cried, "With lots of rum and scantily clad women and violence!"  
  
Ana grinned and said, "Just the thing I'd imagine the infamous Jack Sparrow would say."  
  
He smiled and said, "Now.........on to other business. That woman ye were with. What's her name?"  
  
"June Oleander. We were childhood friends. Ran away from home a couple years back. She used to be a stuffy aristocrat. Now look at her."  
  
"Probably surprised the shit out o' you, she did," Jack stated.  
  
"You have no idea," Ana agreed.  
  
"So what about you, Miss Walker? What do you want out of life?" he asked, stretching lazily.  
  
"Ah, well I have been working here for about two years now."  
  
"Do ye like it?"  
  
Ana laughed bitterly. "There isn't a day that goes by where I don't wish I were out of this hellhole."  
  
Jack stared at her for a moment before saying, "Yer a spirited lass, I'll give ye that. And I think I can help ye."  
  
"What can you do for me, Mister Sparrow?"  
  
"I was thinkin' o' inviting Will to come to Tortuga with me. Have a bit o' fun, sail the seas for a bit, give him some time to move on. Would ye like to join us?"  
  
"Of course!" Ana cried at once and flung herself at him, hugging him hard.  
  
"Easy on the goods, darling," he said, his voice muffled by her hair.  
  
She broke away, her cheeks flushed with excitement, "When will we be leaving?"  
  
"Well, dearie," he said, standing up, "This very instant! We best be headin' towards Will's house quickly if we want to leave without causin' a scene. Port Royal doesn't exactly take kindly to the Black Pearl and I."  
  
Jack offered her his arm and she took it with a warm grin. "Ready for the adventure of a lifetime, Miss Walker?" he asked and began to pull her along. She fought to keep up with his long, swaggering strides.  
  
"Of course, Sparrow. Lead on!"  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Feel free to review! Reviews are wonderful. : ) 


	2. New Adventure

A/N: Thank you for the feedback! I am sorry for the delay. (smiles innocently) You know how the holiday season is. We left off where Miss Walker was given an invitation to sail the seas with Sparrow. Did she accept? Heck yes! Now please enjoy Chapter Two.  
  
Drink up me 'earties,  
  
PineAppleLint  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
They stopped outside of a tiny cottage on the outskirts of town. It was located on one of the more respectable streets, with finely built houses and no gunshots could be heard out on the streets, nor were there any loose women on the prowl.  
  
"How do ye know where he lives?" Ana asked curiously.  
  
"Well, luv," Jack said, twirling around to face her with a grin, "I'm Captain Jack Sparrow!"  
  
Ana sighed in exasperation. "Yes, yes........I know.........."  
  
Jack held a ringed finger to his lips, motioning for her to be quiet. They both peered inside from window that overlooked the kitchen. The house was dark except for one lone candle that flickered on the wooden table. Will was sitting there, hunched over, scribbling something down on a piece of parchment. He was concentrating hard, not even noticing the two faces peering in at him.  
  
Jack suddenly rapped the window pane gently. Will jumped, clearly startled, and looked up immediately. His eyes widened when he caught sight of Jack. William grinned and motioned for him to go to the back door. Jack sneaked slowly around the house, Ana following him closely.  
  
Will motioned for him to hurry up inside as he held open the door. William then shook his head in surprise as he saw Ana following in close pursuit.  
  
As soon as the door closed, Will said with a chuckle, "Jack Sparrow. I never thought I'd see you here again!" and pulled him into a hug, clapping him on the back a couple times.  
  
Jack broke away and grinned, saying, "I suppose ye have met Anastasia Walker?"  
  
Will turned his gaze to Ana, who waved in embarrassment.  
  
"Yes, we have met," he said slowly before turning to Jack again, "What do you want?"  
  
"Nice to see ye too, lad!" Jack replied sarcastically, "Well, me boy, I'm here to cheer ye up. I am lookin' for some new hands for the Pearl."  
  
"I couldn't Jack," Will said with a shake of his head, "I have work here. I have a house to take care of.........."  
  
"Oh, bullocks, William Turner!" Ana suddenly cried, "Ye need to get yer head out of the clouds and take some time off."  
  
William cast a curious sideways glance at her before stating, "I suppose you are coming along too. Jack already persuaded you to tag along?"  
  
"There need be no persuading," she said defiantly, "It was my own choice. I want to get out of here for a while."  
  
"To Tortuga? Do you know how dangerous a place like Tortuga is? It would be better to stay in Port Royal." Will asked, his voice a bit louder, the kind of tone someone would use if they thought you were being too rash.  
  
"I can take care of myself," Ana said quietly, "So bugger off."  
  
Silence drifted around the room until Jack cleared his throat and said, "Well then, I suppose we shall be off. I'm sorry ye can't come with us, Turner."  
  
Ana took one last look at Will before following Jack out the door. They walked arm in arm down the cobblestone streets quietly.  
  
"Stupid man," she grumbled.  
  
"He's a eunuch, luv. Tis hard to persuade a eunuch to take risks," Jack informed her lightly.  
  
Suddenly they heard the sound of running feet against the pavement from behind them.  
  
She turned around and stopped dead in her tracks.  
  
"Will?" she gasped, "What the hell are you doing?"  
  
Will ran up to them and said slightly out of breath, "I've changed my mind. I'll tag along."  
  
"Splendid! It's time to celebrate! Drinks all around!" Jack cried foolishly, waving his arms about.  
  
Ana tried to suppress the sudden feeling of elation that spread throughout her. She cast him a small smile and he smiled in return.  
  
"As long as it's just to Tortuga, Jack," Will said seriously, "I know how you like to change course at the last moment."  
  
"I promise on pain o' death that we shall just sail to Tortuga, savvy?" he answered with a sly smile.  
  
"Savvy," Will replied and took Ana's offered hand.  
  
And so the adventure began.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
".......And then there was Barbossa, actin' all pigheaded and not allowin' me to make a clean getaway........." Jack said animatedly as they walked onto the Pearl, clearly engrossed in telling his tale to Ana, who was giving him her full attention.  
  
"So what happened?" she breathed, listening intently.  
  
"Well, luv," he said with a grin, "Will and I began to battle it out with those awful skeleton buggers........"  
  
"Stupid piece o' shit!" a female voice proclaimed. Jack stopped in the midst of his story, his mouth still open.  
  
Everyone froze. Jack slowly made his way to the helm to find a mysterious woman pirate working to get the anchor up by her self.  
  
Jack grabbed his pistol and aimed it at the woman in the shadows, saying, "Halt and turn, young missy! I have a pistol aimed!"  
  
The woman paused at once, then slowly turned around with a sheepish smile on her face.  
  
"Double shit," she proclaimed, "I'm glad ye mates are here to help. Do ye know how hard it is to bring up the anchor by yer onesies?"  
  
"June!" Ana gasped, "What are you doing?"  
  
"All right, I confess..........I was tryin' to commandeer this ship and sail off on the horizon, let the wind take me wherever it wants so I can raid, pillage........."  
  
"I think that's enough from ye," Jack said angrily, "Ye were going to steal me Pearl!"  
  
"The Pearl?" June said in a mock wondrous tone, "The BLACK Pearl? Oh boy! Holy moly!"  
  
"Do you mock me?" Sparrow said and unlocked the pistol.  
  
"So I suppose ye are that twit Jack Sparrow. The alcoholic womanizer who can't sail worth shit. Nice to meet you!" June held out her hand and waited for him to take it.  
  
He squinted at her and said, "Ye are waltzing on dangerous ground, Miss Oleander."  
  
"CAPTAIN Oleander, if ye please," she corrected, retracting her hand hesitantly.  
  
"Ye are no captain, I assure you," he retorted, "Not an immature ruffian such as yourself."  
  
June instantly unsheathed her sword and said with narrowed eyes, "You think this wise?"  
  
"What's in your head?" Jack asked with a chuckle, "You are not the one with the pistol."  
  
"June, please," Ana pleaded, "Let's think rationally."  
  
Jack shook his head slowly and placed the pistol back in its holster. "As much pleasure as it would give me, Miss Walker," he said, "I cannot shoot yer good friend."  
  
Ana sighed in relief and replied, "Thank you, Jack."  
  
"Thank you, Jack," June echoed and sheathed her sword, beginning to walk around deck, examining the woodwork.  
  
"I suppose it will do," she said, half to herself. Suddenly she walked straight into Jack's cabin.  
  
"Hey! Ye can't go in there!" Jack shouted and followed her in.  
  
He found her taking off her boots and lying comfortably on the goose feathered mattress, wiggling a bit to make the mattress bounce.  
  
"This will do just fine!" she exclaimed.  
  
"Oh the hell you aren't," Jack answered, "This is MY bed," and picked her up in his arms, throwing her to the floor.  
  
"It isn't nice to throw around a lady," she sniffed dramatically.  
  
"Ye are no lady," Sparrow answered, crossing his arms, "A woman who climbs into me lap in the middle of the night and sing in my ear is no lady."  
  
"But I remember ye liked it," she said with a wink, patting him on the bum as she walked past him and out the door.  
  
Jack let out a slow breath and muttered curses to himself. What was he thinking, letting a woman aboard such as June Oleander?  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Later that evening, Ana sat in the crow's nest, singing the Cellblock Tango to herself quietly. She hadn't had that much fun in ages.  
  
"May I come up?" June yelled from below, instantly shaking Ana out of her dream world.  
  
"Of course," she hollered and stared out at the ocean again. The night was clear, the stars were bright, and the heavens seemed too perfect.  
  
"Jack says he left his crew in Tortuga to have some time off. He sailed here all by his onesies. Isn't that interestin'?" June replied as she heaved herself up over the side and sat with her bare feet dangling over the edge.  
  
"I suppose," Ana replied, only half listening.  
  
"Thinkin' about Turner again?" June said with a heavy sigh, "Gurly, ye need to snap out of it before you scare that man overboard."  
  
"No," she laughed, "Just enjoying the night. How does it feel to be on a ship, June? How did you get in Port Royal?"  
  
"Bartered me way on a cargo ship," she informed truthfully, "Wanted to visit me home port."  
  
"So how do you feel about the invincible Jack Sparrow?" Ana asked with a grin.  
  
"Invincible?" June said with a snort, "Hardly. That man has the biggest ego in the Spanish Main. A swift kick to the balls will level him out nicely."  
  
"I would love to see his reaction if you ever accomplished such a feat," she said.  
  
June smiled impishly and said with a wink, "The night's still young, lass."  
  
"June!" Will called out, "Jack says he wants his pillows back!"  
  
She looked over the edge of the crow's nest and mumbled, "Dammit. I was hopin' he wouldn't notice." She turned to Ana and said, "Well, luv, I best be getting' some shut eye. Don't stay up too late." She caught sight of Will climbing up the crow's nest and added, "On the other hand, scratch that. Have fun!"  
  
Will and June switched places, June faking a rather large, idiotic yawn as she proclaimed, "Good night!"  
  
Ana and William sat in uncomfortable silence for a while, staring out at the horizon, then staring at the hilarious display of Jack and June fighting over the position of who got the helm.  
  
"They act like children," Will said quietly, smiling to himself.  
  
"Indeed," she murmured just as softly.  
  
He turned to her, running a hand through his ruffled long hair and sighing, "Why did you come, Anastasia?"  
  
"You know my reasons, William. The question is: why did YOU come?"  
  
"To have fun."  
  
"Bullshit," Ana said at once and he glanced up at her, clearly startled.  
  
"Excuse me?" he asked with a frown.  
  
"You did not want to come tonight. I could see it in your eyes. You wanted to stay home and mope around as always."  
  
"Now see here," he said angrily but she shushed him.  
  
"Do not mess with me Mr. Turner," Ana said, "I can smell a liar from twenty feet away!"  
  
He stared at her hard for a moment before saying, "Perhaps I did not want to see you getting into a situation you couldn't drag yourself out of."  
  
"You came to PROTECT me?" she said, her voice louder.  
  
"I............"  
  
"Well you can shove your act of charity up your arse, because I shall have none of it! I can take care of my self!" she said with rage, climbing down the crow's nest in a huff.  
  
"Anastasia........" Will called out tiredly, but there was no use in stopping the pissed off woman.  
  
Meanwhile........  
  
"Step away from the damn helm!" Jack barked.  
  
"I want to steer. It looks like jolly good fun!" June said excitedly, holding onto the pegs enthusiastically, taking a moment to untangle her curly hair with her fingers.  
  
Jack took an angry step towards her and she jerked the wheel, causing the whole ship to careen to one side, making him lose his balance and tumble head over heels onto his butt.  
  
"If ye do that again........." Jack seethed, standing up in fury.  
  
"Oh..........you mean this?" June asked innocently, spinning the wheel again so he fell once more. Jack reached his arm out, grabbed her ankle and yanked as hard as he could.  
  
June lost her footing and fell right on top of him with a big "ommph". Jack stared up at her and she said breathlessly, "I knew ye wouldn't be able to keep yer hands off o' me, ye sly dog."  
  
Jack curled his lip in disgust and pushed her off of him.  
  
"Ah, so you are just so overwhelmed by me natural beauty that ye can't look me in the eye? I can play that game, Sparrow."  
  
"Insufferable hellcat," he growled, "I should lock ye up in the brig."  
  
"Oh, go keelhaul yerself," she said with a sigh, "If ye won't allow me to steer, I might as well just sit here and keep ye company."  
  
"Oh, God no," he groaned as she sat Indian style on the wooden floor next to the helm, beginning to whistle cheerfully, which led to singing.  
  
"Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!" June said with emphasis, adding hand movements, "A pirate's life for meeeee!"  
  
"That's not how the damn song goes," Jack muttered.  
  
"You sing it then, Mr. Know it All," she said thoughtfully.  
  
"Ye know what?" he said with a shake of his head, "You are the only attractive woman that I have not wanted to sleep with in me entire life."  
  
"Do I get a medal for that sort o' thing?" she questioned cheerily.  
  
He moaned in annoyance and she chuckled lightly, enjoying the fact that she was making him squirm.  
  
"In fact, ye are a big liar, Mr. Sparrow," June added with a yawn, "I saw how ye were actin' when I was perched on yer lap all seductive like. Surprised that ye didn't ravish me right there in the tavern, I was."  
  
"Isn't it about time ye went to bed?" he demanded, his right eye twitching.  
  
"Will you be joining me, me pirate man?" she said breathlessly, mocking him.  
  
Jack stormed off and slammed his cabin door shut behind him, locking it with a loud click.  
  
"Got ye right where I want ye," she laughed and immediately took the helm, beginning to whistle to herself again.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Happy Holidays, everyone. Reviews are always welcome. : ) 


	3. Last Nerves

Disclaimer: I do not own Disney's characters. (unfortunately!)  
  
A/N: Sorry for the delay, as always. Kate and I have been busy cooking up an outline for this story, and let me tell you, it is going to be a fun, bumpy ride! And a Happy New Year to you all!  
  
PineAppleLint  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
The morning sky was crystal blue, the birds were chirping merrily, and June couldn't give a rat's arse. Her plan had worked and she was currently basking in the glow of its success.  
  
Jack had taken the bait of her hanging all over the helm, leaving his quarters unoccupied. That is when she took the advantage to sneak in unnoticed, lock the door solidly behind her and partake in sleeping in a nice warm bed all to herself.  
  
She yawned and stretched, sitting up with difficulty. Content, she jumped out of bed and began to pull on her shirt and breeches over her undergarments. Walking barefoot to the window, she took a deep sniff of the salty sea wind.  
  
"What a beautiful day!" she exclaimed, "The sun is shinin', the waves are crashin', the gulls are singin'," she turned around and winced instantly, "And Sparrow looks mighty pissed off."  
  
There sat Sparrow at his desk, not speaking, but that look he was giving her told her everything.  
  
"If ye wanted to see me in me skivvies, Captain, all you had to do was ask," she mentioned with a wink.  
  
"This is MY cabin," he stated, ignoring her perverse comment.  
  
"Is it now?" she asked, looking around wildly.  
  
He stood up and grabbed her by the hair, leading her towards the door.  
  
"Hey! I was thinkin'...ow....that we should come to a......damn it, that hurts!......................compromise, perhaps share......OW......."  
  
"June," he said, suddenly holding her up against him, his mouth hovering over hers.  
  
She paused, her eyes wide.  
  
"I would find ye attractive and maybe wouldn't even care if ye were in me bed half naked if ye kept your mouth shut. One word out of yer mouth and it tends to ruin a man's fantasies." He let her go, practically pushing her away.  
  
"That was a rude thing to say," she sniffed, "And ye know what else is rude? Disrupting a woman's beauty sleep."  
  
"Beauty sleep?" he scoffed, his eyes scanning her from head to toe, "It certainly did not help much."  
  
He grinned when she swung her fist at him and missed as he dodged it.  
  
"And another thing," Jack said with a sigh, "If ye are going to try and steal the captain's cabin, ye better put somethin' heavy against the door. I know how to pick locks, lass."  
  
"Oh really? I had no idea. I thought ye just went through walls like a ghost," she stated with a roll of her eyes.  
  
He leaned in close to her and said mysteriously, "Perhaps I can. After all, I'm........."  
  
"Shut yer hole, Sparrow! I've heard ye sing the same tune before."  
  
He narrowed his eyes at her, letting out a 'hmmmph' of frustration, and said, "Out ye go!" as he pushed her out of his cabin, then slammed the door in her face.  
  
She stood there for a moment, absolutely seething. "That man....." she hissed, "Is absolutely infuriating."  
  
"Having a bit of trouble?" someone asked.  
  
June whirled around to find the eunuch grinning at her.  
  
"Nothin' a gal can't handle," she said, examining her fingernails, "I might as well go steer, aye?"  
  
"Jack said if you took so much as one step towards the helm he would personally flog you."  
  
"Mmmmmm," June said thoughtfully, "That sounds kind o' kinky, now doesn't it?"  
  
Will blushed and went back to tying up the assortment of tangled ropes.  
  
"So....." June said, leaning against the banister next to where Will was working, "That Miss Walker is quite a beauty, eh?"  
  
Mr. Turner looked up, frowning, and said, "I suppose," then lowered his head to concentrate on his duties once more.  
  
"I mean....you and her would make quite the pair..."  
  
"Do you have a point, June, or are you rambling on as usual?" Will asked.  
  
"Well I am sorry if I am bothering you, William," she said politely. Turning around, she climbed up the crow's nest muttering, "Fancy pants pretty boy, stupid mangy........"  
  
June stopped in mid-motion, wondering where the hell Ana was. She turned back around and ran below deck, almost colliding into Jack on her way to Ana's room.  
  
"Watch it!" Sparrow shouted.  
  
"Sod off!" she shouted back and ducked into Ana's room, slamming the door shut. She turned to find Ana with her head hanging out the window, making unintelligible noises.  
  
"Luv.......luv, what are you doing?" June questioned hesitantly.  
  
Ana wretched again and June curled her lip in disgust. Wiping her mouth, Ana turned to face her, looking absolutely green. "Just a bit o' sea sickness is all," she said hoarsely, "Nothing a woman like me can't......." she paused, her eyes bugging out, and she turned promptly to the window again.  
  
"Dearie, empty yer guts out, that's it. A good ol' friend told me once it's better out than in," June said lightly and held her gold hair for her as she vomited out the window.  
  
"Oh God......" Ana said with a sigh, making her way towards the mussed bed, "I feel awful."  
  
"As long as ye didn't wretch all over the side o' the Pearl, darling, things will be fine. The fishes will have themselves a bit o' breakfast today, I must say!"  
  
Ana's eyes flickered and she put a hand over her mouth again, running back to the window.  
  
"Perhaps that wasn't the appropriate thing to say at a time like this," June remarked thoughtfully.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Will made his way towards the helm, where Jack stood staring off into the distance. He seemed thousands of miles away in his own little world......but when was it NOT common to find Sparrow drifting off into space?  
  
"What is on your mind, Jack?" Will asked, sitting next to him, taking a quick break.  
  
"Why did I ever agree to let her aboard?" Jack mumbled, pointing in June's direction. She was leaning over the side of the ship, staring at the dolphin pod that was following them, their glistening skin reflecting the noon day sun, utterly fascinated.  
  
"Maybe if I jerk the wheel she will fall overboard and we can leave her there......" Jack said hopefully.  
  
Will laughed, thinking the insane captain was joking around, but his eyes widened when he saw his hands tighten on the pegs. "Jack!" Will exclaimed loudly, pulling him away from the helm before he could jerk it, "Anastasia would be furious."  
  
"Ah, wouldn't want to make that woman angry now, would we? Oh wait, ye already accomplished that, William, me boy."  
  
Turner sighed and hung his head in frustration. "I guess I did," he remarked.  
  
"Jack thinks you should go and make it up to her. Perhaps pin her to the bed for an hour or so. All the ladies love it when Jack does that," Sparrow said mischievously, a crazy glint in his brown eyes.  
  
Will replied, "One, stop being so crude. Two, stop referring to yourself in the third person."  
  
"Was I?" Jack asked, looking bewildered.  
  
Turner sighed again impatiently and left Jack at the helm by his lonesome. "Everyone on this ship is going mad," Will grumbled, about to make his way to Ana's room when she burst forth above deck, straining to smile.  
  
"Anastasia, are you all right?" Will questioned, staring into her cloudy green eyes, at her pale, sweaty face. She smiled weakly and nodded, swallowing hard.  
  
"Just a bit o' the dizzies, that's all, love," she answered in the faintest of whispers, "Now what work does Jack have for me today?"  
  
"You are not working in your present condition," he stated firmly, "No matter what Jack says."  
  
"Oh, Ana! Yer up!" June said cheerily, making her way over to her in long strides. She turned to Will and said, "Been pukin' all morning, this one has."  
  
Ana looked horrified and shot June a dirty look before smiling sheepishly at William.  
  
"Why didn't you tell me you weren't feeling well?" Will asked with a frown, "I could have helped."  
  
"What.....by watching me heave? No thank you, Mr. Turner," she said icily, "Now please excuse me, I'm going to have myself a bit of fresh air."  
  
Will watched her walk briskly past him, holding her head high. June patted him on the back and said, "She thinks you're an ass."  
  
"How could you tell?" he scoffed, rolling his eyes skyward as if asking God why he deserved this. He then promptly removed her hand from his rigid shoulder and made his way to the mast.  
  
June said loudly so he could hear, "I think someone needs a good lay! Oh wait, that's not possible. He's a EUNUCH."  
  
A snicker erupted from someone and she saw Jack trying to cover up a cat- like grin. He found it entirely too amusing. Will, on the other hand, was on his last nerves. He had gone on this trip to relax, to ponder about where his life was going to lead him after the woman he loved died of harsh pneumonia, and here he was with an idiot female pirate verbally harassing him.  
  
"Oleander, I advise you to stop this instant."  
  
"Someone's a bit touchy about his current sexual status," she muttered under her breath.  
  
He snapped. Unsheathing his cutlass, he pointed it at her, his gaze steely and concentrated.  
  
She grinned and remarked, "Finally, some action around here!" and unsheathed her steel blade as well.  
  
"I would rather not do this," he stated.  
  
"Actually, I would find it very entertaining," June said with a sly smile, "Shall we carry on?"  
  
"Yes," he said through clenched teeth and made the first move. He jabbed in her direction, causing her to step backwards. Now he had the advantage. Ana was making her way towards them, trying to yell at them to stop acting like children, but Jack held her back, clearly engrossed in the fight.  
  
"Will ye cry when I beat ye, Turner?" she said cockily as she sliced her blade through the air and scraped his bicep. Blood began to ooze and he made no sign of it giving him pain.  
  
"Or will ye want to go home?" she added, their swords glinting in the light. The Turner boy was exceptional with the sword and kept her on edge, but she wasn't about to admit that.  
  
They parried, thrusted, and clashed their weapons until sweat beaded on both of their brows. She was brought to her knees by one of the blows and he smiled, thinking he had her. June kicked his legs out from underneath him, causing him to lose his footing, giving her enough time to regain her stance.  
  
"You cheat!" he growled, his anger showing through the increased strength and intensity of his blows.  
  
"When do I NOT cheat?" she asked with a look that said, 'what were you THINKING?' and immediately lost her concentration. Her sword flew from her fingertips and she watched in horror as his blade was pressed against the muscles of her quivering stomach.  
  
He quickly retracted the blade, watching as she stared in disbelief.  
  
Jack clapped loudly, yelling shouts of "Bravo!" and "Drinks all around!" Ana just shook her head with a defeated sigh.  
  
"Well," June finally said, holding out her hand, "Congratulations, Turner." He took her hand and smiled as they shared a firm handshake. It was a real smile, not one of sarcasm or mockery. "You are truly Bootstrap's son," she added with a nod, "Good form, good form."  
  
"Thank you," he replied, returning the nod. He knew he had won her respect and that was all that mattered.  
  
Jack waltzed up to June and said with a grin, "Didn't know ye were that easy to beat, luv. Perhaps I would like a try with running ye through with me sword if it is truly that easy a feat."  
  
June smiled and batted her eyelashes, saying innocently, "Ye know what else is easy? Runnin' swords through the hearts of captains who don't lock their cabin doors at night."  
  
Needless to say, as the sun set over the peaceful horizon, the cabin door was locked that night, and a desk pushed up against it as well.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
She loves keeping him on his toes, now doesn't she? Please review! Reviewers rock my socks. 


	4. Ana vs Will

Disclaimer: Disney has a restraining order.

Special Thanks: Kate! My pirate buddy, for all her witty and fantastic ideas! YO HO!

A/N: Hey, all! Just wanted to say that updates may be scarce for a while during the month of January, for a lot will be going on. I shall try my hardest! Well, you awesome reviewers, enjoy Chapter Four: Ana vs. Will.

PineAppleLint

* * *

Ana stood in the dining hall, scrubbing the table, which was covered in a layer of filth. She curled her lip after her rag turned black after a couple of scrubs. She sat on a chair, staring at it in disgust.

"This is going to take a while," she muttered to herself, blowing the loose curls that were framing her face out of her eyes.

"Need help?" someone proclaimed from the doorway. She jumped, clearly startled, dropping the rag as she turned and saw William smiling at her disgruntled state.

"No, I am fine, thank you," she said crisply, "I think I can manage cleaning a table."

Will instantly frowned and replied, "Don't you think you are acting a little childish? Perhaps I did come along to watch over you, but can't you just dismiss it as a friendly gesture?"

She sighed and perched a hand on her hip, setting the nasty rag down and smoothing out her skirts. "I just want you to understand that I do not need a baby sitter. You treat me like a child, Will. I am no child. I am a grown woman fully capable of watching over herself."

Will sat down in the chair next to her, looking purely exhausted by the last couple of days. He had been working like no tomorrow, always taking the helm when June and Jack were at it again. There had been no time for sleep.

"Anastasia, just because I want to watch over you doesn't mean I don't think you a woman. You just have a lot to learn."

"Then teach me!" she replied, walking over to the window and staring out at the cloudy sky and the choppy waves.

"Why not Jack, or June for that matter?" Will asked, rolling up the sleeves of his billowing shirt. She turned and stared as his shirt shifted and she got a good view of his tanned chest. Ana smirked and snapped out of it, concentrating back on the scene outside of the window.

"You know they would rather drink themselves to death than take on a woman with no skills in the piracy area," she said gently, "You are the only one patient enough."

Will met her serious gaze and looked thoughtful. "All right. As a friend, I shall help you."

Ana smiled and said, "Thank you. And perhaps I can give you lessons on how to be happy for a change."

He instantly frowned at her comment. "What was that supposed to mean?"

She rolled her eyes and stated, waving her arms around, "Look where we are, William! On a bloody pirate ship! You should be having the best time of your life since you have that pirate blood in your veins. But no, you are still moping around, pining after your dead wife. She's GONE, Will. You can't change that!"

Mr. Turner looked like he just got slapped in the face. "Don't talk about Elizabeth that way," he seethed, "Do not disrespect her."

"Oh, for goodness sakes, you talk about her like she is still alive! Get a hold of yourself!"

Will stood up and said, his voice getting louder by the second, "I do not see what you are trying to do, Anastasia. You are always provoking me. What do you want me to do? Are you testing me? Seeing if I'll hit you?"

"No," she shook her head, her pretty face a mask of rage, "I just want to see you finally be a man, get over your losses and be everything that I know you can be!" She walked right up to him, their toes touching, her face inches from his and she added defiantly, "I am not afraid of you, William Turner."

"She was my WIFE, Ana. I cannot forget that. I loved her more than life itself. That is something I can never have again," he said, his brown eyes cloudy with anger, depression and annoyance.

"And why not?" she cried, "If you don't try, you won't ever find out!"

"I don't want to find out," he said with an arrogant growl, "I just want to be left alone."

"That is sure a good outlook on life," she said sarcastically.

"It's my life," he argued, "I can do what I want. Stop acting like my mother!"

"I am not trying to be your mother, Will. I just hate seeing you beat yourself up over something you couldn't control."

She loved him so much, and here he was, telling her he could never love anyone ever again.

"You have given up on love, Will?" she asked quietly, "There's a lot of pretty lasses out there who are respectable and sweet, willing to give you a try." She raised her hand to stroke the side of his face gently but his hand shot up and grabbed her by the wrist painfully. He stared at her in bewilderment and confusion, wondering what that simple gesture meant.

"Don't," he ordered, "Don't touch me," and forced her arm to go back to her side.

Ana stared up at him, her eyes flooding with tears. Will left the room as quickly as he had entered, not saying a word.

She grabbed the rag and began to scrub viciously at the table again, trying desperately not to cry.

"Pirates don't cry," she murmured angrily, "Cowards cry. So what if he looks at me like I'm some sort of a disease?"

She scrubbed again and one salty tear fell onto the table top. She took the rag and attacked it, getting rid of the splotch that represented her weaknesses.

Why did she have to love a man who didn't want to love anyone ever again in his lifetime?

"Damn love," she snarled, "Damn love to hell!"

"Easy, luv," June proclaimed as she waltzed in, munching heartily on a green apple, "William looks mighty angry. What did you do this time?"

"I did nothing! I was trying to give him advice and he..." she paused, shaking her head, "I don't know why we get into these tiffs. Perhaps I should just leave him be."

"Ye get under his skin, darling, no doubt about that," June replied, "But perhaps that's a sign of somethin' else. I think he's mad because ye understand him more than anyone else does. And it scares him."

"What?" Ana asked, frankly bewildered, "But he said I was wrong! That I didn't know what I was talking about and I just wanted to provoke him!"

"Will's an arrogant man," June pointed out, "Stubborn, persistent. Would he really tell you ye hit the bull's eye?"

"No," Ana stated with a sigh, "I suppose not."

"Well then," June said with a wink, "I think we are getting somewhere, don't ye agree?"

Ana didn't answer.

"Luv, why were ye crying?" June asked, "Ye never cry." She reached up and gently swiped her thumb under Ana's eyes, removing the tears, "The last time I've seen ye cry was when I accidentally set yer china doll on fire."

"That was no accident, June," Ana said, narrowing her eyes at her.

"It isn't nice to hold grudges, luv," June said, holding up her hands, "That was, what? Fifteen years ago?"

She smiled at the old memory. "You were twelve, I was eight," she mused.

"Ah, so it was fifteen years ago," June stated and threw her apple out the window, "How old is Will anyway?"

"Twenty five, I think," she murmured, "Last April he came into the tavern and we celebrated. Nothing fancy. I think I stuck a candle in a bread loaf."

June laughed and said, "Ah, bread. The way to a man's heart."

Jack burst in and eyed June and Ana. "June," he said, cutting to the chase, "There's a storm comin'."

"Ah, fun!" she said excitedly, "I want to take the helm!" She began to dart up the stairs so she could take the helm but Jack grabbed her by the waist and pulled her back into the dining hall, not being gentle at all.

"Ow, whiplash," she hissed and glared at him. Suddenly, she asked, "How old are ye, Jack?"

"Fifteen."

Ana and June rolled their eyes. "No, really."

Jack grinned and said, "It's a mystery, luvs."

June stepped up to him and examined him closely. Jack watched her curiously, his eyes following her every movement as she circled him, not trusting. She pulled on one of his dreadlocks and he slapped her hand away in a feminine manner.

"What are ye doin'?" he questioned in exasperation.

"Ana, what do ye think, luv? Not a day over fifty," June said, studying him.

Jack opened his mouth, looking horrified. "I'm thirty one!" he shouted, "What do ye think I am, an old man? I'm in perfect condition!"

"Ha, gotcha," June smirked.

"Damn it," Jack muttered under his breath. He turned on June and said, "I should make ye work in the galley for that one."

"Why do you have it out for June, Captain?" Ana asked with a smile, "We were just guessing your age, and before you stomped down here, we were having a serious discussion."

"Because June is a nuisance and a female version of a low, cheating scallywag," Jack informed Ana, "And female scallywags are very dangerous out on these here seas."

June scoffed, "Ye two, stop talking about me like I'm not even in the room, savvy?" She walked over to the window and murmured, "The storm's comin'." She whirled around to face them and added, "Well, what would ye rather me be? Some refined lady? That part o' me is long gone."

Jack glared at her and said, "At least ye could use a bit o' manners. Ye belch like an old man."

"Manners?" she laughed, "Jack Sparrow is telling me to get some manners, Ana. How hypocritical is tha'?" Ana shrugged sheepishly as Jack started to look like a cornered dog ready to lash out at any moment. The females were ganging up on him and he didn't like it.

June cleared her throat and closed her eyes for a moment, dropping her arms to her sides in an almost dreamlike state. When she opened her eyes again, she smiled cheerily and suddenly curtseyed, "Well Mr. Sparrow, sir," she commented in a tip-top fancy accent, "I shall be above on deck working on your exquisite and divine ship. If you want to verbally harass me any more, that's where you will be able to find me." She began to walk up the steps in a graceful manner, almost as if she were floating. She paused, staring at Jack's shocked face with amusement. "Oh," she added, "Mister Sparrow? I advise you to remove that scone that was shoved up your ass immediately." As soon as she delivered the insult, she was gone.

Ana let out a muffled gasp of laughter as Jack turned to her, his mouth gaping open.

"I told you, Jack," Ana said quietly after she controlled herself, "She used to be a wealthy aristocrat. Was the daughter of a well off gentleman who worked for the government in England. When she moved here, she instantly befriended me."

"So why did she give it all up?" Jack asked softly, staring at the stairs as if June were still standing there.

"Always did have a rebellious streak in her, as you can see," Ana smiled warmly, "Even as a child. She wanted to have a shot at piracy."

"And she just left one night?" Jack murmured, staring at his dirty fingernails like he had nothing better to do.

"Yes. I heard a tap on my window and she was out there with a sack over her shoulder. She did not have a lot of experience…so the East India Trading Company got a hold of her and branded her. A friend helped her escape and she started her new life as a pirate." Ana's hand worked to smooth out her frizzy hair and added, "I almost jumped out the window and went with her."

"Why didn't ye, luv?" Jack asked, his chocolate brown eyes staring into her green ones.

"I don't know. I guess I was never really interested in piracy. Until now."

Jack stared out the window and said, "I would love to chat with a pretty gel like yerself some more, but I better be headin' above and get ready for the storm."

"Anything I can do, Jack?" she questioned, smoothing her skirts again.

"Prepare dinner. We all will be down in a couple hours," he said and began to leave. As he walked in his drunken manner to the door she heard him proclaim over his shoulder, "Oh, and it's CAPTAIN Jack, young missy."

* * *

Ana slaved over the vegetables in the dimly lit kitchen area. It was cramped, almost as if it used to be the dining hall's broom closet. She peeled potatoes, humming along as her fingers worked with the knife quickly and accurately. She heard a door slam and she didn't even bother to lift her head. The Pearl was rocking violently, and she thanked God that she didn't still have the nausea. The storm was upon them, and she could hear the wind howling from outside.

Biting her lip, she hoped everyone was all right.

"Ana," Will said as he walked into the kitchen, "Do you need any help?"

"Is everyone all right up there?" she asked, ignoring his question.

He smiled and said, "Fine. Nothing a warm meal can't handle." She nodded and got back to work.

Will watched as she concentrated on the potatoes, her eyes calm, her manner relaxed. She had an apron loosely tied around her slim waste and her blonde hair swept up in a practical bun.

He walked up to her and grabbed a couple of potatoes, reaching for a small kitchen knife and getting to work. They peeled in silence, every once in a while one would sneak a glance at the other.

"Are you mad at me, William?" she finally asked, setting down the knife and staring at the table, "Was I out of line in the dining hall?"

"No," he said gently, still peeling, "In fact, I admire you for being so truthful."

"Well, if it matters, I am sorry," she said, grabbing another potato. "Oh, may you get a pan out for me? You don't have to peel. I know it's quite boring."

"Actually, it's relaxing," he smiled and added, "Excuse me," as he tried to reach for the pan in the cramped space. His body brushed against hers and she stiffened, a blush forming along her cheeks. Will reddened as their gazes met for an instant and he broke the stare in embarrassment.

"I think that will be enough potatoes," she said, placing her hands on her hips once she finished off the last one, "Now I need a spoon and some spices, perhaps a bowl.? I have no idea where those are."

"Me either," he admitted with a laugh. They began to open up random cupboards and squeeze past each other in their search. It was awkward, no doubt about that. Suddenly, her skirts caught on the handle of his cutlass.

"Oh, I'm sorry," he said with wide eyes and they both bent down to untangle it, hitting their foreheads together.

"Sorry!" she said as he winced, "Oh! I didn't mean."

"It was an accident," he laughed, "My apologies." His hands worked at her skirts and set her free.

"It's so cramped in here," she said, unusually flustered, "I'm surprised Jack hasn't used some of his swag to buy appropriate items for an acceptable kitchen."

"He doesn't need a kitchen," Will grinned, "He has his rum."

"Ah," Ana rolled her eyes, "Surprise, surprise. His liver should be shot by now."

Will got quiet again and he set a bowl down on the table, searching again for a spoon.

Ana watched him search intently for what she asked for, his brown hair gleaming in the candlelight, the bow loosening and causing some strands to fall and brush his shoulders. He scrunched up his nose as a rat scurried across the floor and disappeared.

She smiled at his facial expression and suddenly, she realized he was staring back, a confused and curious expression a midst his features.

"Anastasia, what is wrong?" he asked gently, "Something is on your mind."

"Oh," she sputtered, embarrassed she had been caught, "Uh, just thinking about our future piracy lessons, I suppose."

Will smiled and said, "And what would you like to learn first?" as he presented her with a spoon, a look of triumph on his face.

"Thank you," she said, taking it from him and setting it in the bowl, "Perhaps you can teach me about managing a ship.the jobs, the definitions of the different parts."

"That sounds like a good start," he said, wiping his hands on a rumpled rag, "We can start tomorrow if you'd like."

She smiled and he nodded to her, saying, "I probably should be going above deck to help the others."

"Have fun getting wet!" she teased as he exited the kitchen.

"Don't worry, I will," he called.

Ana shook her head, grinning like a fool as she began to sprinkle the raw meat with spices. She was a sorry excuse of a woman, melting into a big puddle of mush whenever he can near or gazed at her with those big brown eyes of his.

But, she thought, melting wasn't such a bad feeling after all.

* * *

"Dinner is served!" Ana said, her words dripping with a certain dramatic flourish. 

Jack sat next to June, not looking very happy about it. He scowled as he watched her pick her teeth with her fingernail.

Will sat next to Anastasia's empty seat, looking famished. She smirked, for they all looked like drowned rats.

"I told ye so, Jack," June said with a sigh, "Ye better thank me because five more seconds with the canvas up and the mast would've snapped."

"The Black Pearl can withstand anything!" Jack argued, glaring at her some more.

"I'm not picking a fight," June said with a smile, "Ye are always on the defensive. Perhaps ye are feeling a bit more vulnerable now that yer kohl has rubbed off."

Jack's eyes rolled downward, as if he were trying to look and see for himself.

"Stop bickering and eat already," Ana complained, slapping June in the hand gently.

June said, "Eating is me specialty, dear friend," and grabbed a heaping spoonful of steaming vegetables, and snatched a hunk of meat, the same one Jack had been going after.

"'ey!" Jack whined, "That was mine!"

"Oh, all right, ye big baby. Ye can have it!" June batted her eyelashes and picked up the hunk with her fingers and dropped it into his lap.

Will's eyes grew huge, Ana stifled a giggle, June looked pretty content with herself, and Jack just stared at his lap in surprise.

He picked it up calmly and set it on his plate, eyeing June.

"It slipped?" she suggested, shrugging.

"You'll pay fer that one later, lass," he muttered under his breath so only June could hear.

She grinned began to dig in, everyone following her example. It was quite comical. On one side, Will and Ana used their forks and knives respectfully, taking small portions into their mouths at a time, sipping their wine.

On the other, Jack and June slurped their drink, gnawed at their meat, and Jack especially enjoyed licking his fingers. He grinned, his gold teeth glinting as he said, "Ana, this is fabulous! Perhaps once we pick up me crew back in Tortuga, I will have to throw the cook overboard just so ye can be me new one."

"I'm glad you are enjoying it, Captain," she replied and took another sip of her wine.

June paused for a moment and said, "Yeah, the food is good," as a string of whatever it was hung limply from her lips.

Jack stared at her with a smirk on his face. He smacked the table and said, "Will? Look at this girl," he pointed to June, "It's a surprise I haven't bedded her yet. Such a fine specimen, she is."

Will chuckled as June eyed Jack suspiciously, the food still hanging from her parted lips. She shrugged, which she seemed to be doing a lot of lately, and went back to eating after she said, "No man can resist me."

Jack laughed openly at her remark, but stopped abruptly, looking frankly disturbed. His gaze returned to June, who was smiling secretly to herself as she took another forkful of potato into her mouth.

Sparrow scooted his chair away from her and practically shouted, "Stay away from me!"

Will and Ana stared at them back and forth, confused.

"So," June said, grinning, stretching as she leaned back into her chair, "Who's ready for dessert?"

* * *

Whoa, so what was going on between June and Jack? (winks) You'll just have to find out later, I guess. (evil heeheeing) And the tension between Ana and Will is just unbearable! Ahh! Review please and I shall send you a potato that was half eaten by the infamous Captain Sparrow himself! I would like to thank FedEx for making those deliveries possible. 


	5. June vs Jack

A/N: Hello, all! Thank you so much for the kind reviews, and I am sorry for the long time I have kept you waiting for an update. Kate and I have been talking and we basically have the whole story outlined, yet for some reason we were stuck on this chapter! Hope you enjoy Chapter Five: June vs. Jack. Drinks all around! Bad eggs for everyone!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
June sat on her cot and tossed and turned this way and that, causing it to squeak like a mouse in pain. Finally, Ana couldn't take it anymore.  
  
"June," she roared, sitting straight up in her cot against the adjacent wall, "Must you continue with that insufferable noise?!"  
  
"I'm sorry," June grumbled, "It's not me problem that Jack gets the big comfy bed and here we are stuck in this shit room."  
  
"We should be thankful for what we have," Anastasia pointed out with a small frown, "And that he even let us on board in the first place."  
  
"We should be thankful for what we have," June repeated in a high pitched snobbish accent, "Well here we are and the night's getting chillier by the moment, and our window's broken. I'm freezin' me ass off, dearie."  
  
"You have a blanket. Use it," Ana said with a sigh.  
  
"Ye call this a blanket?" June scoffed and held up the jagged piece of fabric that looked like it had been attacked by a mob of moths. Ana couldn't help but let out a muffled giggle.  
  
June stood up and walked over to her, grabbing her hand. Sure enough, her skin was cold to the touch. "Yer freezin' too and ye won't admit it," June huffed.  
  
"So what if I am?" Ana said, "We can't do anything about it now."  
  
"That's what you think," June said with a laugh and walked to the door, "I'll be back."  
  
"Where are you going at this hour of the night?" she asked, "Everyone is asleep!"  
  
She was answered by the door swinging shut with a bang.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
June stealthily walked to the front of the captain's quarters and tried to open the door slowly and quietly. The whole ship was silent except for the faint scuffing of her boots. She reached into her pocket to get out her trusty lock picking device and got to work. In a minute's time, the door clicked open and she grinned.  
  
Opening the door slowly, she faced a wooden desk that was blocking her way. Struggling not to laugh, she realized he still didn't trust her enough to leave the door open and un-booby trapped. Like a simple desk was going to stop her!  
  
Getting on her hands and knees, she slipped underneath the desk and rolled to her feet in a stealthy manner. The candles of the room had gone out a while ago, the candle wax already dried, the wick not sparking with life. The moonlight cast eerie shadows and her gaze stopped on the figure in the bed.  
  
She crept closer, eyeing him with an alertness that she couldn't describe, expecting his eyes to open and him to jump at her with a pistol and sword bared, yelling like a madman. But that didn't happen and she began to breathe easier.  
  
His tanned arms were wrapped around the pillow, his eyes closed and his mouth shaped into a tiny smirk. His bandanna was lopsided and his dreads fell down across his shoulders at jaunty angles.  
  
"Probably dreamin' about screwin' some gel," she thought with a shake of her head, "Perverted bastard."  
  
He was shirtless, his tanned back turned to her. It was hairless, unlike the turtle story rumor suggested. He rolled over to one side and murmured, "Naughty lil' wench," before resting on his back, his chest rising and falling with slow breaths. She sniggered and began to examine his revealed skin. There were two gunshot wounds on his upper chest from long ago, the only remains of the shots were scars. Long jagged lines ran from his right elbow to his wrist. His Sparrow tattoo and the "P" on his upper wrist were visible as well.  
  
She fanned herself as the sheet slipped a little and his lower lean hips were bared, revealing the corner of a tantalizing tattoo located on his hip bone that she couldn't see all that clearly. The sheet was dangerously low, but not low enough to enable her to get a view of what helped him get that womanizer reputation.  
  
June realized she had forgotten why she had come here in the first place once she caught her eyes roaming his body multiple times, hungrily and predatorily. She smacked herself in the forehead and she noticed the extra blankets on the edge of the bed. Ah ha! Now she remembered.  
  
Remembering she had been standing there gaping entirely too long, she quickly went to the edge of the bed, one of Sparrow's feet revealed, his toes wiggling slightly in the midst of a dream. June leaned over the bed, about to grab two warm and respectable blankets, when a high pitched yell echoed throughout the cabin. Her head shot up to find Sparrow wide awake and pulling the sheet up to his chest, desperately making a grab for his pistol on the nightstand.  
  
"Sparrow, it's me!" she cried, "Don't get yer knickers in a bunch. Well, yer not wearing any, so I don't think you'd be able to get them in a bunch..................."  
  
"What the HELL are ye DOING IN HERE?" Sparrow shouted and began to unlock the safety. She dropped the blankets and held up her hands in surrender.  
  
"I was just getting some blankets, Jack. Ana and I are freezin' our assets off," she responded.  
  
"Or ye were hopin' to catch a glimpse o' me naked!" Jack glared, "I've had enough of ye, lass! I am sick o' ye makin' perverse remarks an' tryin' to rape me in me sleep and feelin' me up underneath tables!"  
  
"I did not come here to rape ye!" June argued, "That wouldn't be very much fun. And if ye think I'm that desperate, get o'er yerself, Sparrow. I can sooner find a hundred willin' adventurous gents in Tortuga, I assure ye."  
  
"A hundred ye say? What, are ye payin' them by the minute lass?" Jack smirked.  
  
June let out a growl of frustration and grabbed the blankets, turning to walk out of the room.  
  
"Don't walk away from me," Jack said angrily. She could practically hear him cursing, having that inner battle inside his mind if he should just go ahead, pull the trigger and be done with her.  
  
"Quite ironic how ye don't find it very funny when yer put on the spot, Sparrow, and ye do it to poor women everyday."  
  
"Ye act as if they don't like it," he said and grinned.  
  
June rolled her eyes and pushed the desk out of the way, preparing to leave. She paused and turned to face him. He was watching her curiously and cautiously, his gun still at his side, still on the defensive as his eyes studied her.  
  
"Oh, and Sparrow?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"That's a nice tattoo ye got there."  
  
Jack's chest puffed out with pride as his ego inflated. "Which one?" he questioned with a smile.  
  
"That one on yer hip. Good night."  
  
She left right after she saw his smile disappear, her eyes twinkling with wickedness. June didn't feel like getting shot. After all, the blood would probably ruin her favorite shirt.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Jack walked out of his quarters the next morning, surprised to see the sun already high in the sky and Will sitting lazily by the helm, staring up at the clouds. Ana was busy humming to herself and stitching some clothing up, her thread and needle flying between her fingers. And the anchor was down. The Pearl wasn't moving an inch.  
  
"Why aren't we movin'?" Jack said, annoyance lacing his tone, "What is this, a day off? I thought ye were to follow me orders!" Will, tying his hair back once more, had confusion written all over his face.  
  
"Do ye speak English, whelp?" Jack asked, waving his hands around like a lunatic.  
  
"But we did follow yer orders! June said that ye wanted....................." Will's explanation trailed off until he wasn't speaking at all; finally realizing that June had been lying about Jack letting them all take the day off.  
  
"Where is that disgrace o' a pirate?" Jack seethed, "When I get me hands on her............."  
  
Will didn't answer, just pointed to the water. Jack frowned and took a tentative glance over the side of the Black Pearl. There June was, swimming around with her eyes closed near the side of the ship, floating on her back, singing a raunchy song to herself.  
  
"I bet 'er mum would shit a brick if she heard such language comin' out o' her daughter's mouth," Jack growled. He went to the side and shouted, "JUNE! This isn't yer day off!"  
  
"Dammit," June breathed and squinted from the glare of the sun as she looked up. She smiled and shouted back, "Nice to see ye dressed, captain! Jump in, the water's wonderful!"  
  
Jack mumbled a few profanities and Will raised his eyebrows.  
  
"Dressed?" Will commented, wanting to know the story.  
  
"Ye don't want to know," Jack grimaced. He then added, "Help me bring up the anchor."  
  
"What? But Jack................she's still swimming. The Pearl will leave...................."  
  
"Follow me orders, boy," Jack interrupted, his eyes flashing, "Or I'll gladly drop ye off at Tortuga and never allow ye on the Pearl again, savvy?"  
  
Will grinned and shook his head, exclaiming, "All right, but she isn't going to like this....................." and the two of them slowly worked to raise anchor.  
  
Meanwhile, June froze in the middle of the water and opened her eyes. What was...............holy shit, it was! The anchor was slowly going up and the Pearl began to inch away from her!  
  
"Jack!" she bellowed, "This isn't funny!"  
  
"Hell, woman, yes it is!" he yelled back to her and let out a chuckle as he watched her begin to flail about, swimming as fast as her arms and legs could carry her.  
  
"Rotten son o' a bitch!" she screamed as she looked up and saw him holding a rope, a catlike grin on his face.  
  
"Jack, I think you have had enough fun torturing her," Ana said from behind him, looking irritated and cross.  
  
"Fine, fine," Jack muttered and threw the rope with perfect accuracy down to June, who was still swimming like a retarded fish as she hysterically tried to keep up with the ship.  
  
She grabbed the rope and shouted, "I got it!" Will and Jack pulled together, bringing her with lightning speed over the edge and onto the deck with a loud 'thud'.  
  
Will quickly averted her eyes, a blush gracing his cheeks. Ana grabbed the coat she was working on and rushed over to June, who was lying there and laughing like she was out of her mind. Jack stared. All June wore was a white shirt and some white knickers, which did nothing to keep her revealed now that they were soaked. Ana put the coat around June's shoulders and June sat up, smiling.  
  
"That was a good one, mate, I'll give ye that," June said to Jack, "Ye got me back big time." Jack opened his mouth to answer but hesitated. June cocked one hip to one side, placing a hand on it and raised an eyebrow as she watched his eyes slowly begin to wander, not bothering to listen to Jack's mind.  
  
"It's June, Jack," his conscience whispered, "Why are ye staring?"  
  
"It's not everyday ye have a soaked half naked woman on yer ship," he thought back.  
  
"Ye shouldn't be looking at her, Jack," the conscience scolded, "After all, ye should be hating her guts."  
  
"Pirate," he answered back.  
  
"Ye done staring?" she asked impatiently. His gaze snapped back to her knowing, smiling face.  
  
He stepped closer to her and she took an unsteady step backwards, not trusting him.  
  
"I'm Captain, and ye follow me orders. No more messin' with me head," he said so only she could hear, "Or I'll maroon you."  
  
"Would ye do that to pretty ol' me?" she said, batting her eyelashes.  
  
"I'm sorely tempted," he said through gritted teeth, "To just throw ye back overboard and leave ye for the sharks."  
  
June was the one who stepped closer this time, and Jack did not move away. He could feel her body gently brush past his and his eyes flickered with a new emotion that peaked her curiosity.  
  
"But ye won't, Sparrow," she whispered so only he could hear, "It's fun testing yer limits, seein' how far I can push ye before ye explode. But for some reason ye never seem to carry out yer threats. Fancy that."  
  
"Just waitin' for the opportune moment, luv," Jack replied and she grinned, slowly walking past him so that her hip softly slipped against his.  
  
"Can't wait," she said with a wink and went down below to change into a fresh batch of clean clothes.  
  
"Damn her," he muttered. She was teasing him and he didn't like it. She made him uneasy and it was a rare occurrence for Captain Jack Sparrow to be made uneasy.  
  
"Are you all right, Captain?" Ana asked.  
  
"Please tell me why I let that stupid wench on board in the first place?" he groaned, rubbing his temple.  
  
"Beats me," Ana shrugged, "Perhaps out of the goodness of your heart."  
  
"Then damn me heart," he said with a sigh and Ana let out a laugh, patting him on the back sympathetically.  
  
"I've known her for many years Jack," Ana said, "And I think you should heed my advice: Don't let her make you so angry all the time! Roll with the punches, Captain. Give her a few surprises of her own like you did today. Maybe then she will realize that you aren't a man to mess with."  
  
He took in Ana's words and nodded slowly. "Yer right, Ana, me darling gel!"  
  
"That's the spirit," she said with a small smile and began to go back to her sewing duties.  
  
"That's the spirit all right," he muttered with an evil grin, "From now on, this means war."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Review and I shall give you a cyber hug! (groans fill Fanfiction) Okay okay! You will get to have a hug from either the dashing blacksmith Turner or swashbuckling captain Sparrow! Sound good to you? (cheers) 


	6. Coconuts

Disclaimer: Hola. Yeah, I don't own one hair on Jack's head. (sob) Why cruel world, why?  
  
Author's note: Thank you for the delicious reviews! I could just dip 'em in rum and eat 'em up! Well, where we left off, Jack proclaimed a war had started between him and June, Will and Ana were starting to unravel the mystery about each other, and Tortuga was growing closer by the minute. Alas, enjoy Chapter six!  
  
PineAppleLint  
  
* * *  
  
Yes, a war had indeed started. Morning to night, day by day, the immature banter between the two pirates was driving everyone mad. Yet the pranks all started when June sashayed up to Jack one late morning with a corked bottle of amber rum, saying he looked extremely parched...  
  
"Ye're actually bein' nice to me?" Jack asked, astonished. He placed a hand to her forehead in a mocking manner, "Are ye sick o' somethin'?"  
  
She laughed politely. "Oh, Cap'n. Don't be stupid. Just thought ye needed a drink is all. Ye've been standin' at the helm all day and it's quite hot, I must say." The raging sun was beating down on them all without mercy. The air was calm, and there was only a slight, humid breeze coming in from the west. To make a point, she ran a finger along the side of his face and her finger was instantly coated with sweat. June made a face and wiped it on the end of his red striped sash.  
  
"Oh, hand it over already," he demanded and tried to make a grab for it, but she held it away from him, teasing. It was never a good idea to get between Jack Sparrow and his rum, remember that, for it could mean almost certain death.  
  
"No, 'thank ye, Oleander, ye're me hero'?" she questioned, pouting like a little girl.  
  
"Thank you," he exclaimed impatiently, rolling his handsome brown eyes, and she grinned as he snatched the bottle from her slack fingers. He uncorked it with a satisfying 'pop' and held the bottle to his lips, not seeing her grin grow devilish as he took a strong pull.  
  
His eyes bulged out of his head and he dropped the bottle, coughing and wiping his mouth as he ran to the side and began to try and spit it out. June was laughing uproariously, clutching her side and wiping her eyes, getting kohl all over her fingers.  
  
After spitting and wiping his mouth, he turned to her, yelling, "What, are ye tryin' to POISON me now?! What was in it?"  
  
She shrugged, saying non-chantilly, "Perhaps it was a bad batch?"  
  
He narrowed his eyes, replying, "It was no bad batch, and ye damn well know it."  
  
"Perhaps I tried to spice it up a bit...um, let's see...chili pepper? Nutmeg? Some other stuff I don't remember..." she thought with a finger to her chin, "I thought it would energize ye."  
  
"It tasted like a donkey's ass."  
  
"You have TASTED a donkey's ass?" she asked, crinkling her nose, "Where have YOU been?"  
  
"It was an expression!" he shouted, "Full of sarcasm, somethin' ye are VERY familiar with!" He paused for a minute and picked up the half empty bottle on the ground, a half a cup of the tainted rum still sloshing on the bottom. The rest was dripping down the deck.  
  
He stared at her and commented, "Ye need a taste o' yer own medicine."  
  
"No thanks. I don't believe in medicine. I like natural healing, thank ye very much."  
  
He grabbed her out of nowhere and she screeched as he put the bottle to her lips and tried to force her to drink some of her concoction. She struggled and clamped her mouth shut. Jack pressed her back to his chest and held her tightly around the waist with one arm and was holding the bottle with the other.  
  
"Open up, luv," he demanded.  
  
"Mmm mmmm!" she murmured with wide eyes, shaking her head. In the midst their struggle, some of the liquid sloshed on her face and went up her nose.  
  
"Dammit! Ow, that stings!" she cursed and pushed herself away from him, holding her nose in pain. Now Jack was chuckling as he watched her snorting and trying to get the chili pepper alcohol out of her nostrils.  
  
"Ye look quite attractive when ye do that," he stated lightly. She gave him one last icy glare before making her way down below, ignoring his laughter. Jack shook his head and coughed, the taste of that vile mixture still on his tongue. He most certainly had to get her back.  
  
Jack tied a rope around the helm to keep her steady and went off to find Ana. He found her with Will, learning how to hold a sword correctly. Jack watched them both for a minute, grinning as he saw a blush grace Ana's cheeks when Will put his arms around her to correct her stance and tighten her hold on the weapon.  
  
Jack let out a gruff 'ahem' and the two jumped, not knowing he had been silently observing their lesson in the empty galley.  
  
"Ana, I have a question for ye."  
  
She relaxed and asked, "What do ye need, Jack?"  
  
"Some information about June. Do ye know what she's afraid of?"  
  
Will snorted, his eyes twinkling as he responded, "I suppose the war has already begun?"  
  
"She poisoned me rum with chili pepper, lad. It's payback time."  
  
Ana laughed and said simply, "Horses."  
  
Jack stared at her with confusion, "What was tha'?"  
  
"She's afraid of horses, but there aren't any in the middle of the ocean so...hmm...let me think, it's been quite a while."  
  
"Horses?" Jack scoffed, "what kind o' pansy would be afraid of a horse?"  
  
"Lots of people are afraid of horses, Jack," Will pointed out as he cleaned the blade of his cutlass.  
  
"I am not sure, Jack. I do not want to help this fight grow out of proportion," Ana said with a smile, "So you can find out what makes her squirm on your own."  
  
Jack muttered a curse and walked back up the steps without another word. Ana turned to Will and said, "I know what June's afraid of, even if she won't admit it."  
  
"Who?" Will questioned, intrigued.  
  
"I think she's afraid of Jack."  
  
"Why would she be afraid of him?" Will said with a laugh, "She's already had a wonderful time provoking him."  
  
"Only time will tell, Will," she sighed. Ana got in her stance again and asked, "Is this right?"  
  
"Loosen up a bit," he said and began to circle her with his blade at the ready.  
  
"Don't have too much fun beating me," she said with a groan of frustration.  
  
"I'll try not to."  
  
* * *  
  
June kept her guard up that day, knowing by those predatory glances Jack was giving her, he had something wicked on his mind. And she didn't want to stick around to see what it was. She finished mopping the poop deck and went downstairs for a biscuit or two since her stomach was already protesting her stupid decision to skip lunch. She hadn't been in the mood to put up with Jack's arguing at the galley table.  
  
Of course, when she walked back to her mop and bucket, she felt like something was different. Taking another bite of biscuit, she thoughtfully chewed and stared down at her bucket. Crumbs fell out of her mouth as she gasped.  
  
Her change of clothes! They were in the dirty bucket water! Wait, that didn't look like the same water... Holy hell, it couldn't be...that smell reminded her of Tortuga. Taking another whiff, she shouted, "Son of a bitch!" Someone had pissed in her bucket.  
  
She scowled as she grabbed the bucket and tossed its contents overboard, watching as the nasty piss water, as well as her ruined clothes, fell into the crashing waves and disappeared. June stared down at herself. All she had left was what she was wearing. And they weren't in the best condition. There were holes everywhere, and the fabric was thinning. This was not good.  
  
Feeling her anger rise, she stomped straight into Jack's cabin without knocking. He was sitting at his desk when he looked up in feigned surprise.  
  
"Why, June, what's wrong, me luv? Havin' a bad day?" he asked with an all-knowing smile.  
  
She pointed a finger in his face and touched his nose. "You, Captain Jack Sparrow, have sunk to an all time low. Don't think that is goin' to get me to stop messin' with ye."  
  
"Whatever do ye mean?" he said, batting his lashes. She grabbed the hat off of his head and threw it down on the desk.  
  
"Ye cocky bastard. Takin' a leak on me clothes? How drunk were ye when ye got that idea?"  
  
"I was perfectly sober, thanks very much," he said with a dramatic bow.  
  
She let out a snarl of frustration and stated, "Now what am I goin' to wear to Tortuga? Me clothes are practically in shreds!"  
  
"Who says ye have to wear anythin' at all, me darling?" he said with a smirk, his gaze suggestively lingering over all the wrong places. He winked at her right before she grabbed the dagger from her belt and with one swing, speared his favorite hat and pinned it to the desk, the blade sinking into the wood with a loud 'thwap'. He gawked at her as she turned on her heel and said sweetly, "Oh, and besides, ye know that bottle o' rum? Let's just say that's not the only bottle that got messed with."  
  
Jack howled in anger and despair, about to go after her and break her arms when Will walked through the door, blocking his way.  
  
"Let me through," Jack hissed.  
  
"Jack, there's a merchant ship on the horizon. Just wanted you to know that."  
  
Excitement replaced the horror in Jack's eyes. "Merchant ship, eh? Maybe we should pay them a lil' visit?"  
  
"What are you getting at, Jack?" Will frowned.  
  
"Will, me boy," Jack said, putting an arm around Turner's broad shoulders, "There comes a time in every man's life when he has to learn about pillagin', plunderin', and the like. You know what? This is the opportune moment for a lesson in plunderin'!"  
  
"No, Jack," Will scowled, "That would be a bad idea."  
  
"Did someone say plunderin'?" June asked, sticking her head through the doorway. She had been obviously eavesdropping.  
  
"Is it just me or is that gel like a mosquito?" Jack murmured in annoyance. Will was trying his hardest not to smile.  
  
June huffed, replied, "I heard that", and walked off, whistling to herself.  
  
"It will take not but an hour, lad," Jack commented, "We could use some extra supplies."  
  
"They are innocent people, Jack."  
  
"Well, pirates have to make a livin', eunuch. Live with it." With a flick of his wrist he turned rather awkwardly and swayed out of the room. "We'll be crossin' their path in a couple minutes. I want you all at the ready."  
  
"We only have four people! Who knows how many people are on that ship, Sparrow? Sounds like a death warrant to me."  
  
Jack paused, turned to him and grinned, saying, "Live a little, Will. Sometimes livin' life an inch from death is the most fulfilling way to do it. Take what ye can, give nothin' back, savvy?"  
  
* * *  
  
Ten minutes later, the ships were side by side, and turns out there were eight people on board the merchant vessel. Grapple hooks were thrown by June and Jack, then they made their way onto the other ship. Ana stayed behind, clearly shocked that she was witnessing such wrongdoings. Will followed meekly behind them, sword at the ready.  
  
"Stay calm, everyone!" Jack shouted with a smile that would suggest them to do otherwise, "We are takin' over the ship for the moment!" Four merchants held up their hands in defeat, utter hatred glazing their eyes, and four had their hands on their weaponry. June cocked her pistol at them in warning. If they made a move, they died.  
  
"Take what ye want and leave, ye disgustin' filth," one muttered, spitting at June's feet.  
  
"Jack, can I hurt this one?" she asked eagerly.  
  
"No, this is strictly a business call, luv," Jack ordered. He motioned Will to go down below to grab whatever supplies were needed. Ana cautiously came aboard and followed him to help with the thieving.  
  
"What are you supposed to be, a pirate whore?" the same one asked to June. She stared at him, frowning.  
  
"Jack, this one here's askin' for pain!" she called.  
  
"No, June!" he called back in exasperation. Jack shouted to the men, "Ye keep yer mouths shut or I'll send this ship down to Davy Jones'. Or kill ye, whichever sounds more satisfying."  
  
Will and Ana began carrying sacks of goods over to the Pearl. June began singing a sea shanty a loud and cried, "C'mon, surely ye must have heard this one. Everyone join in with the chorus!"  
  
No one sang except for her. "Ye gents need a good lay," she said, peering at their dirty, disbelieving faces. "Especially you," she added, pointing to the man who had called her a pirate whore and filth.  
  
"Are ye offerin'?" he questioned, "Because I'd rather cut my balls off."  
  
"If ye want, I'll do that for you," she replied venomously, eyeing his pants to get the threat across. He gulped and shut his trap. Suddenly, the man standing right next to him, a youthful lad with dirty blonde hair, grabbed a long jagged knife from his belt and swung it at her.  
  
She yelped as her arm was cut from her wrist to her elbow, her crimson blood beginning to flow.  
  
"Wanker!" she growled, "I'll blow yer brains out." He took a step back when she raised her pistol. Suddenly, she felt cold metal at HER temple. A whitehaired, rough-edged merchant was holding her at gunpoint.  
  
"Put the pistol down," he commanded.  
  
"You put yours down, old man," she said slowly.  
  
"BOTH of you, stop it," Jack sighed, holding HIS pistol to the old man's head. It was like a chain of death. June let her arm drop and the old man slowly did the same.  
  
"Now play nice," Jack murmured in June's ear, "Even if I like seein' the look on yer face when ye get yer life threatened."  
  
"You're a sick man," she murmured back with a lopsided grin.  
"Being sick is me specialty," he informed her, still keeping an eye on the fidgety merchants, expecting at any time for one of them to make a wrong move.  
  
"How's yer arm?" he added.  
  
"I'll live. Later ye can kiss it and make it feel better," she said in a seductive tone.  
  
"Oh please," one of the merchants muttered.  
  
"In yer wildest fantasies, luv," Jack said. Will walked up to them with three more sacks slung over his shoulder, "I think we're done, Captain."  
  
"Well," Jack said gleefully, "Mates, it's been a pleasure. You'll always remember this as the day you came across the infamous Captain Jack Sparrow." He would have tipped his hat for a certain dramatic flourish, but unfortunately June had shish-kabobed it. God rest its little hat soul.  
  
The grapple hooks were taken down, the plank they used to walk across discarded, and the anchor was pulled up. The merchants were left cursing and scratching their heads in wonder. Jack Sparrow? Their wives would most certainly want to hear this story when they got home.  
  
"Did ye have to do that whole egotistical act thing?" June snorted, "It made me gag."  
  
"Whatever are ye talkin' about?" he questioned, arching his eyebrows.  
  
"Remember this as the day you came across the infamous, handsome, thieving scoundrel, lovely, well-dressed Captain Jack Sparrow!" she mocked, swaying a bit to emphasize his moves and made her voice high pitched to get on his nerves.  
  
"Just statin' a true fact," he shrugged. He walked casually over to about twenty brown sacks and added, "Look at all this loot! I wonder what we acquired on our lil' visit?"  
  
Jack pulled on one of the strings and the sack opened, turned over, and the contents spilled out and rolled across the deck.  
  
Coconuts.  
  
One look at the expression on Jack's face and June could not help but shake with laughter.  
  
"Good goin', Captain," she exclaimed, "Yer the King of Coconuts!" Jack, who was expecting some kind of treasure or valuable spice, flushed. They had plundered coconuts. Those merchants must have thought he was a complete idiot. This was certainly a first in his book. Pillaging island fruit.  
  
"Will!" he shouted, "Get yer arse over here!"  
  
"What, Jack?" he asked, looking down at the scattered brown coconuts, being careful not to slip on them.  
  
"Why the hell did ye take COCONUTS?" Jack said, shaking his head, causing his trinkets to reflect the sunlight in his movements.  
  
"That was the only thing below deck, Jack!" he said in a defensive manner.  
  
Ana smiled and said, "Coconuts aren't that bad. I bet we could sell a few. After all, we have plenty for all of Tortuga."  
  
"Coconuts," Jack mumbled, "What next?"  
  
"Well," June commented with a grin, "I guess we're eatin' good tonight!"  
  
* * * 


	7. Arrival at Tortuga

Disclaimer: Anything owned by Disney is not mine.  
  
Author's Note: A simple task for all you piratey people out there...enjoy this installment of Make Him Move On!!!  
  
* * *  
  
Ana yawned and blinked a couple of times to remove the haziness from her eyes caused by sleep. Arching her back, she glanced over at June's cot...which was undeniably empty. Had she slept in? Where did June go?  
  
Suddenly, Will ran into her room with a wild look in his eyes. He instantly flushed and stared at the floor when he realized he caught her in bed, and in her undergarments, no doubt.  
  
"Don't you knock?" she frowned, pulling the sheets to her chin.  
  
"I thought you'd want to know that Jack and June have gone completely insane."  
  
"What? What's going on?"  
  
And then she heard it. A consistent thumping coming from above deck. "What the hell?" Ana said aloud, "Are they tearing the ship apart or something?"  
  
"Get dressed and see for yourself. I can't get them to break it up," Will sighed. He sneaked one last look at her sleepy figure and closed the door on his way out. She cursed to herself as she pulled on her dress she had perched over the chair in the corner of the room and slid it on as fast as she could, practically tripping over its off white skirts when she pulled it up her slim body. She didn't bother tying up the back as she ran barefoot up the stairs and squinted as her green eyes adjusted to the fierce sunlight.  
  
June stood atop the crow's nest, yelling down at Sparrow, who was yelling back, red in the face. She was throwing coconuts down at him.  
  
"Oh yeah, Sparrow?" she shouted, "Well ye stay the hell away from me!" June threw another coconut down at him and he ducked. It missed his head by a mere three inches.  
  
Jack hopped around on his toes as he tried to get to the ropes where he could climb up the crow's nest, but she wasn't allowing him to get close enough.  
  
"I thought ye wanted me to do the opposite, luv!" Jack yelled up to her, his kohl-rimmed eyes bulging with anger, "Ye couldn't wait until I gave in to your whorish teasing!"  
  
"Who ye callin' a whore?" she seethed and threw another coconut. This time, it smacked him in the shoulder, causing him to let out a girl- like shriek.  
  
"DAMMIT!" he roared, "Won't you just LISTEN to me? Is it really that hard? Come down here right now before you force me to climb up there!"  
  
"Nuh uh, no way! Once I get down there you're going to kill me."  
  
"What did she do to him?" Ana whispered to Will. They both stared at the hilarious scene that was being played out before their very eyes.  
  
"She accidentally started a fire in his cabin this morning."  
  
Ana snickered and asked, "How did she manage to do that?"  
  
"Beats me. I just heard Jack screaming and when I ran inside, he was stomping on some of his maps. They were goners."  
  
"That's it!" Sparrow shouted, "I'm comin' up!" He began to climb the ropes with quick agility, his hat flying off when he moved quickly to one side to try and ignore the sudden downpour of the island fruit.  
  
"Stay away from me!" June growled, her voice wavering a bit. Jack grinned, noticing that she was nervous. After all, she was trapped up there, and he wasn't stopping until he righted some wrongs.  
  
"Jack!" Ana called, "Let's be rational!"  
  
Jack grinned evilly when he met June's gaze. She was out of coconuts. "One foot closer and I'll spit on ye," she warned, "Seriously, I feel like I have mucus backed up in me throat! There's enough o' it to go around!"  
  
"You are disgustin'," he snarled. He paid no heed to her warning and climbed closer. He winced when he heard her begin to hack loudly.  
  
"You hear that?" she said frantically, "That doesn't sound too healthy! This shit could give ye a disease!"  
  
"I have no doubt," he responded through gritted teeth. His hand touched the crow's nest and he felt her boot against his fingers. She stomped on them and he let out a howl.  
  
"Climb back down," she ordered. He grabbed her leg with the other hand and yanked hard. She fell on her back and that's when he made his move. Jack pounced on her and they both rolled across the tiny crow's nest, arms and legs flying. She bit off a scream when half of her body hung over the side. If she managed to fall, her body would break into little bitty pieces. All the king's horses and all the king's men wouldn't be able to fucking put her back together again.  
  
"Jack!" she whispered hysterically, "Help me up!"  
  
"You throw coconuts at me, threaten to spit at me, and now ye want me help?" Jack snorted, "What is wrong with you?"  
  
"I have a fear of freefalls! This is causin' me emotional harm!" Jack shoved her a good five inches more off of the crow's nest and she screamed. He smiled as he held her by her knees.  
  
"Holy hell! Let me up, Jack!"  
  
"CAPTAIN Jack," he corrected.  
  
"Please, Captain Jack Sparrow!" she whimpered.  
  
"Handsome, devilish, witty Captain Jack Sparrow," he corrected again, a smug grin settling over his features.  
  
He heard her exclaim over the side of the crow's nest, "Now that's just goin' too far." He shoved her another inch and she cried out. He felt her leg muscles clench under his fingers and he sighed, realizing his game had come to an end.  
  
"The blood's rushin' to me brain!" she said, almost near tears, "I'm feelin' lightheaded!"  
  
"You stupid gel," he muttered. He pulled her over the side of the nest and almost yelped in surprise when she wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face into his chest, breathing slowly in order to calm herself down.  
  
"And I am not stupid," she said, his shirt muffling her speech just a little.  
  
"Yes ye are," he said quietly, "Did ye really think I would just toss ye over like that?"  
  
"I'm never sure with you," she replied weakly, "Oh, but I did manage to get quite a view while upside down."  
  
"And what did ye see?" Jack asked, having the sudden urge to stroke her hair, say everything was all right, but grimaced and forced that idiotic feeling aside.  
  
"Tortuga's on the horizon."  
  
* * *  
  
Jack found the perfect place to let go of the anchor, and they waited until nightfall in order to waltz into town. The Captain said with a sly smile that he wanted Ana to witness Tortuga when it came alive, and that only happened when the stars appeared and the sun went down.  
  
June grew restless as she cleaned her pair of pistols. Jack watched her out of the corner of his eye underneath his tricorne hat and finally said, "How many pistols have ye got? I'm expectin' ye to start pullin' some out of your boots, shirt, knickers..."  
  
She laughed a low, rich laugh. Cocking one in each hand, she casually commented, "Hey, a girl's got to be prepared, eh?"  
  
He smirked in her direction and replied, "What happened to the traditional sword?"  
  
"I've got one o' those under me pillow, luv. Let's see..." she winked and raised her baggy breeches to her thigh, showing off a dagger tucked in a black garter. "I have one of those too."  
  
"Oh, you also use the garter technique?" Jack said with a grin, "I have 'em in all sorts o' colors."  
  
She snickered and turned to glance at the setting sun. "I see you as a red garter kind o' man."  
  
"Damn straight." He turned and shouted, "Will! Ana! We're leavin' soon, so get ready, savvy?"  
  
Jack turned back around and jumped when he found June standing right in front of him. "So what'll be your order of business in Tortuga?" she questioned slyly.  
  
"Getting me crew back, luv," he said with a sneer, "And as a matter of fact, I don't think they'll take kindly to you."  
  
"Aw, how nice of you, Jack. I bet I'll love them too. Besides," she suddenly made a funny face and said while batting her eyelashes, "Who couldn't love this face?"  
  
Jack groaned and responded, "Will! Ana! Hurry up! I'm getting dumber just by standin' next to this wench." Turning towards the town, whose lights were starting to flicker through the darkness, he added, "It's time to go."  
  
* * *  
  
The moon was full, so full in fact, it was as if it had drunk too much rum and one prick of a needle on its white surface would cause it to explode. It grinned down at them, lighting their path, coaxing them to go further into the grimy depths of the awakened town. Sparrow had always thought Tortuga was a bit like a vampire...it slept by day, and preyed by night.  
  
Of course, Jack never believed in that damn superstitious nonsense.  
  
"Stick close to me, Anastasia," Will whispered into her ear. She nodded anxiously and her eyes widened when they reached the town square. Everyone was yelling, running about, cackling animatedly, firing their pistols, or flashing their long legs under dirty skirts.  
  
One man ran into her as he stumbled past, mumbling incoherently to himself like he had gone mad. Two men were firing their guns and singing a dirty song at the tops of their slurred voices.  
  
Three prostitutes on the street corner directed their gazes at Jack and Will, winking and licking their ruby lips. Their bare shoulders were scrawny, as if they weren't getting enough to eat. Jack threw a couple shillings to them and they practically pounced on them, grabbing them greedily and sticking the coins between the creases of their half exposed breasts.  
  
"Jack Sparrow," one crooned, "I've got somethin' o' mine you'd probably like to see." He tipped his hat at her, grinning as he stared at her longingly.  
  
June hit Jack upside the head. "Ow!" he cried, "What was THAT for?"  
  
"C'mon, ye're buying me a drink before ye go to invest in some evenin' entertainment." Jack huffed at her, but did not argue.  
  
"I can't believe this place," Ana said with complete astonishment, "How can they live like this?"  
  
Jack stopped in front of the nearest tavern with a smug smile still plastered on his face. "Here we go. Remember this place, Will? We went here ages ago."  
  
"I don't think she's ready for this place yet, Jack," Will replied, glancing down at a shocked Anastasia.  
  
"But I work in a tavern," she said, holding her head up high, "I can handle it."  
  
"Love," he said quietly, "You don't work in a tavern like this. Port Royal is a completely different side of the coin." Will glanced up at Sparrow again and said, "We're going to go find a place where we can eat an edible dinner and not have to listen to this consistent roughhousing."  
  
"Crybabies," Jack muttered, "Where's your sense of adventure?"  
  
"Oh, let them be," June commented lightly, "That means more rum for us, me dearie!"  
  
"Good point," Jack mused, holding up a finger to his goatee, "All right, go have your boring dinner. We will meet you back at the Pearl at sunrise."  
  
"Sunrise?" Ana raised her eyebrows, "And what will you two be doing since then?"  
  
"Getting drunk," June said with a shrug, "But Jack has different plans, I suppose."  
  
"And they're none of your damn business, Miss Oleander," he said sharply. She held up her hands in mock defeat.  
  
"Now I want ye to watch over Ana," June informed Will, "And if a hair is harmed on her pretty li'l head you'll have to deal with me personally."  
  
"All right. I'll remember that," Will smiled, "Come on, Ana. Let's go." He pulled the hesitant Ana away and down the dark street.  
  
"Poor gel," she murmured, "I hope she doesn't get shit-faced."  
  
"You think she will?" Jack asked.  
  
"I don't know. Tortuga's new for her. Hell, the first time I came here, I went crazy. Got loaded to the gunwalls, I did."  
  
"Why am I not surprised?" Jack muttered and walked into the tavern. June smiled and followed him in.  
  
"Hey, Tate," he hollered. The bartender glanced up and instantly hollered back a warm welcome.  
  
"Jack Sparrow! Why, back so soon? Your crew's been asking about ye."  
  
"If ye see any o' 'em, give 'em the word that we'll be leavin' tomorrow morning. Early."  
  
"Sure will, Jack." Tate, being a rather short, burly man, had to crane his neck a little in order to get a good look at the woman next to him. "Who's the pretty lass?"  
  
"Well, ain't he the charmer?" June teased, "June Oleander at yer service, luv." The older man blushed a deep shade of crimson from her obvious flirtation.  
  
"She's been a thorn in me side the whole way here, Tate," Jack moaned, "Giving me hell 24/7."  
  
"She seems like a feisty one, Captain." When she winked at Tate, his blush darkened. "Yeah, I wouldn't let that one out o' me sight. Because ye won't know how valuable she is until ye lose her."  
  
"Aw, see? People here actually like me," June said, elbowing Jack in the ribcage, "May we please have two mugs o' rum, Tate, me darling? If it isn't too much trouble for a busy man such as yerself."  
  
"Oh, no problem, Oleander. On the house. Won't be but a moment."  
  
"Thanks very much," she said with a genuine smile. Jack pulled her down into a chair and stared at her with a look of frustration. "What?" she questioned innocently.  
  
"That man is at least forty years older than you."  
  
"That's what makes it so much fun," she laughed, "I like making the elders blush."  
  
"What am I goin' to do with ye?" he said, face in his hands, "You'll get me shot by the night's end."  
  
"No, ye won't get shot. I just think you'll be busy all night keeping men away from me."  
  
"And why would I care if men came near ye, luv?" Sparrow asked, his brown eyes hardening, "It's none o' me business."  
  
"Because ye want me all to yourself," she said seductively, leaning closer to him, resting her elbows against the table. He didn't back away from her, just narrowed his eyes as their lips became only an inch apart.  
  
"Am I interrupting something, Captain?"  
  
Jack calmly turned his head to the side and met Mr. Gibbs's amused gaze.  
  
"Ah, Mr. Gibbs, good to see you. No, ye weren't. Actually, thank ye for interruptin'."  
  
"What, this lass givin' ye trouble?" Gibbs said, his own eyes twinkling, "Pity. Usually you're good with the ladies."  
  
"I'm June Oleander," she stated with an impish smile, "A new crew member aboard the Black Pearl."  
  
"Temporary," Jack shot back, "A temporary member."  
  
"Well, Jack...you know what I say about havin' women aboard..." Gibbs said in a scolding tone.  
  
"Yes, and this time I don't disagree with you. This one IS bad luck!"  
  
Mr. Gibbs actually took a step or two away from her. She almost laughed out loud at how superstitious this old man was. "So your name's Gibbs, am I correct?" June questioned politely.  
  
"Yes. I'm one o' the first mates aboard the Pearl."  
  
"Oh. Well I'll be no trouble, Gibbs. I mean, I practice witchcraft sometimes and I worship the Devil, but other than that I'm just a normal pirate."  
  
Gibbs looked like he was going to have a heart attack on the spot. "She's joking," Jack said calmly, shooting her a heated stare, "She doesn't do anythin' o' the sort. Now Gibbs, I want ye to round up the crew. We're leavin' in the mornin'."  
  
"Aye, sir. I'll about do it," he responded. Casting one last weary glance towards June, he was off.  
  
"Are ye going to scare off all o' me crew?" Sparrow asked, "Because I can't manage a ship by me onesies." Two mugs of rum were clinked in front of them and she grabbed one. He was about to take a sip of the other when she touched his arm.  
  
"A toast!" she said merrily, "What should we toast to?"  
  
"Death to June!" he cried out cheerily and was about to take a drink when she touched his arm again.  
  
"Ha. Very funny. How about...to friendship?"  
  
"No. What are we, pansies? Pirates don't toast to friendship," Jack pointed out, looking disgusted with her. He slouched in his chair and took off his hat, resting it on the table. A redheaded whore smiled at him and made a dirty gesture just for his enjoyment.  
  
"How about a toast to prostitution?" he said with a wicked smile.  
  
"No damn way. I'm not wastin' me rum on such a profession," June spat. She rested her head on her hand and stared at him.  
  
"How about to the person who invented rum?" she declared, holding up a finger proudly, looking like she was going to burst into song.  
  
"Aye. To the bastard who invented rum and all o' its intoxicating splendor!" Jack bellowed, his fingers wiggling to his words and his wrists rolling about.  
  
"Indeed!" June added excitedly. They clinked their mugs together and in unison, threw their heads back, letting the alcohol slide down their throats, burning them from the inside and liquefying their organs.  
  
They both came up for air, gasping for breath as they set their mugs back down on the table. Both were empty.  
  
June eyed his mug and said while examining her fingernails, "I bet I could drink more than you could, Sparrow."  
  
He squinted at her through his kohl eyelids. Jack swayed in his chair, pointed a ringed finger at her and said lazily, "Is that a bet, woman?"  
  
* * *  
  
Reviews are neato! 


	8. Paying the Tab

Disclaimer:  PineAppleLint writes stories in her pineapple hut about PotC, and she would prefer to own Jack because if she did she would hug him so hard he would need a new ribcage, but she doesn't own him.  So she has to stick to daydreaming, savvy?  

Author's Note:  You reviewers are so wonderful!  I dub you (gets out sword and people run away screaming) the best internet pirates ever!  Huzzah!  Now let's see…where we left off…our gang was hanging out in Tortuga.  I wonder what they're doing, hmm?  Read on!

                                                                        Here there be monsters!

                                                                                    PineAppleLint

* * *

            William Turner watched Anastasia as she played with her silverware while staring at him.  It was as if she was waiting for something.  He had brought her to an old rundown building that actually served decent meals.  The tables they ate on were stained and dirty, the chairs were wobbly, the candle was almost gone, but the food was plentiful.  And they didn't have to worry about some idiot lodging a bullet in their brains and disrupting their meal.  It was located in the quieter part of town, next to the beginnings of the dark forest that made up the rest of the mysterious island.  Who knew what lurked in the shadows?  As Will glanced out the window, he realized he did not wish to find out.  

            "William?" Ana said gently after taking a sip of her wine, "Why not tell me what's bothering you?  Obviously something is on your mind."  

            Will poked his medium-rare steak with the knife and casually picked up a piece with his fork.  "What do you mean, Ana?  Nothing's bothering me."  He brought the meat to his lips and brought it into his mouth.  He chewed slowly, as if savoring the taste.  

            She lifted an eyebrow and made a motion with her hand that said 'out with it'.  

            He leaned back comfortably in his chair and swept a few wisps of brown hair out of his eyes.  "Just wondering how much business I'm losing from suddenly leaving all of my duties back home.  Blacksmiths work everyday, you know."

            "Not blacksmiths," Ana replied with a shake of her head, "You.  Just you, Will."

            His eyes focused on her face and he grew defensive.  "Is there a problem with…"

            "No problem at all, darling.  You love what you do.  I'm not that blind.  But aren't you glad that you finally left for a while?  Isn't it refreshing to leave all of it behind for now?"  

            "Just because I leave, doesn't mean that all the problems will go away," he said with a sigh.  

            She laughed and patted his hand that was resting on the table.  "That's life," she said with a wink.  He smiled in return.

            Grabbing his glass of wine, he said in a form of toast, "To freedom…for now."  

            "To freedom," she repeated and their glasses clinked.  Before she took another sip, she watched Will down his whole glass without coming up for air, his Adam's apple bobbing.  Anastasia thought worriedly, _It's__ going to be a loooooooong night._

* * *

            _Oh Jesus Christ_, Jack thought.  There was only one thing worse than June Oleander:  two June Oleanders.  

            The alcohol was affecting his vision and at the moment, two Junes were swimming around in his sight.  

            "How many was tha' for ye?" she asked, her words sloppily crashing together.  

            "Dammit, I dunno.  Stop askin' me questions and drink up.  It's your turn, remember?" he slurred back, leaning on the table for support.  His hat was lopsided on his head, his kohl was smudged, and his fingers were wiggling more than usual.  That seemed to interest June.  

            "Jack," she giggled, "Your fingers are like litt'l worms!  The way they always move when ye talk!"  She crinkled her nose and grabbed his hand, examining it closely.  June daintily picked up a finger and wiggled it herself.  She giggled again.  

            "Drink yer rum, woman!" he demanded with a grin, snatching his hand away from her.  He leaned back and propped his boots up on the table successfully after trying three times before getting it right.  

            June nodded and exclaimed, "You're right.  Ab'lutely right.  It's me duty as a p'rate to drink until I'm dead, right?  Right!"  Her stare grew suspicious as she added, "You ain't tryin' to kill me, are ye Sparrow?"

            He snapped his fingers and said, "Ah, ye caught me.  No, you stupid wench.  As ye can tell, I'm just as wasted as ye are at the moment."  And he fell right out of his chair.  June let out a bark of laughter and walked with difficulty over to him.  Crouching down, she smiled down at his amused expression.  "Do ye give up?" she questioned and poked him in the forehead, "Do ye?"  

            "Jack never gives up, luv," he said and struggled to get up.  She grabbed his arm and helped him.  Once he regained his composure and sat back down, a pretty young tavern wench sashayed up to him.  "Capt'n Sparrow," she crooned, "I saw ye fall.  Would ye want me to…kiss your injuries for ye?"  

            June opened her mouth and shut it.  Her gaze grew cold as she looked at the blonde in the tight corset.  She was beautiful, no doubt:  ringlets piled atop of her head, big pouty lips, a plentiful bust…any perverted pirate's fantasy woman.  And Jack did have a way with the ladies.  

            "Ah, me gel," Jack said, still slurring, "That's a mighty wonderful offer."  He turned to June and asked, "How can I pass that up?"  

            "Go on ahead, Sparrow," June retorted with a roll of her eyes and a flick of her hand, "Just go."  

            The wench's kohl-lined eyes widened as if she couldn't believe the notorious Captain Jack Sparrow took her up on her offer.  Jack grinned predatorily as the woman took him to another booth at the opposite end of the tavern and sat with him there.  She pressed her body against his and Jack looked pretty enthralled.  

            June felt like she was going to be sick.  _Please don't tell me they're going to do their 'session' in the middle of the tavern_, she thought, _Please__ no._  But it wasn't as if that was an uncommon occurrence in such a place.  But she knew Jack wasn't the kind of guy for that kind of public activity.  No…he was just softening the girl up first.  

            June stared as Jack ran a hand down the girl's thigh and pressed a few kisses to her nape as she mewled appreciatively.  Realizing that was about all she could take, June whirled back around and scowled down at her abandoned table.  June grabbed her full mug and finished it off before slamming it down onto the table.  "Guess I won the drinkin' game," she muttered.  

Glancing up again, she realized there was a table across the room full of fairly decent, young looking men.  One brown haired fellow caught her eye and grinned, motioning for her to come over.  Standing up, she sauntered over there slowly, trying to forget how inebriated she was as she said with a wink, "How ye boys be doin' tonight?"  

* * *

            "So a month went by," Will slurred, gazing at her, eyes full of sickening emotion, "And nothin' changed!  I still felt that hole in the pit of my stomach every time I thought of _her_!  And I still feel it _now_!"

            Ana held her face in her hands, gritting her teeth.  William's drunken wallowing had been going on for oh…about two hours straight, and she was trying her damndest to stay supportive and not throw her chair onto his head (which she was sorely tempted to do).  

            "There there," she said in a strangled tone, patting his back rigidly, "Everything will be all right.  Like I've been saying…you can't change the past."  **(A/N:  It's like bloody _Oprah_!  PotC style!)**

"You want to know the worst part?" he questioned.  Ana knew that whether or not she gave an answer, he was going to tell her anyway.  "I'll tell you," he went on, "Elizabeth was with child!"  Ana's eyes widened a bit, half in surprise about the information he was telling her at the moment, half because she couldn't believe he was actually telling her these things.  He could thank Mr. Wine for that.  

            "Yes, she was," Will continued, "Three months.  I was going to be a _father_.  But now it will never happen."  

            Ana thought it wasn't the right time to point out that yes, it _could _happen if he found some different girl and impregnated her.  But that would have been a tad bit cruel.  And you just don't go running around Tortuga trying to willingly impregnate women.  It was creepy, and…yeah, just creepy.  

            "Want some more wine, miss?" an older man asked her kindly, trying not to stare at the inebriated man across from her mumbling to himself.  

            "I think we're done, thank you," she said tiredly, handing him a few shillings, "Keep the change."  He nodded appreciatively and left them once more.  

            "Woe is me," Will said, "Woe!  My life is full of woe, dammit!"  

            "All right," Ana replied quickly when she spotted a few people turning in their chairs and glaring at them, "It's time to go, Mr. Turner.  You're scaring the customers."  She helped in out of his chair and let out a little "oooof" when he rested most of his weight on her, slinging an arm over her shoulders.  She breathed in the night air when they made it out onto the street.  

            "Did I ever tell you about that one time when I saved Elizabeth from the cursed pirates on the Isla de…"  

            "Shut UP!" she shouted, stopping in her tracks, "Would you just SHUT UP ALREADY!  I don't want to hear another word from you on our way back to the Pearl, savvy?  Not _one _word.  And if I do, I'll beat you to a _bloody pulp_!"  

            Will clamped his mouth shut and cleared his throat as they began their journey back.  

* * *

            Jack wasn't a happy pirate.  Hell, he should have been: he had a wench in his lap kissing his neck with adoration.  Like he was a fucking god.  But over her golden locks, he stared at the table across the room.  June sat casually in some bloke's lap, laughing and ordering them rounds of rum, one right after the other.  Where did she get the money for that?  She was already up to her sixth round, and there was at least fifteen of them surrounding her, nursing their individual drinks, gazing at her with their glazed over eyes as she told them one cock n' bull story right after the other.  

The brown haired man smiled as she threw her head back and laughed that throaty laugh of hers from time to time, whenever one cracked a joke or complimented her.  For the past ten minutes, Jack had watched him advance…he ran a few fingers through her hair and gently massaged her shoulderblades…every once in a while his hands would skim her pelvis and travel down her thighs.  She seemed to be enjoying every moment of it.  

"What's wrong?" the girl in his own lap asked, staring up at him in worry, concerned she wasn't pleasuring him right.  

"Nothin's wrong," he replied in a strained voice, casting a wavering smile down at her.  She smiled giddily back and got back to work, running her lips along his earlobe.  Jack focused his attention back at the table.  

The male stranger had his head bent down and was slowly kissing the crook of her neck!  All the while she was talking animatedly like it didn't faze her.  

Jack's blood ran cold and before he could stop himself, he stood up, accidentally sending his girl tumbling down to the floor.  "I'm sorry!" she gasped in horror, "I'm new here so if I displeased you…"

Jack muttered while going threw his pockets and pressed a couple shillings into the palm of her hand.  That got a small grin out of her and he said, "For yer trouble."  

Swaggering over to June's chair, he said, "Oleander, let's go."

The fellow sitting with her lifted his head and growled, "Get your own, _pansy_."  

June met his gaze and lifted her eyebrows, shooting him a look that read: _I'm not movin', so whatcha goin' to do about it, mate?_

Suddenly, Jack grabbed her arm and yanked her off of the man, sending her flailing into his arms.  Pushing off of him, she shouted, "What the fuck is yer problem?"  

The stranger got up out of his chair and unsheathed his sword.  Jack did likewise.  "You'll pay for messin' with me gel," the stranger warned, and they began to circle.  

"Sparrow," June yelled, "You're actin' stupid!"  

The man stopped in his tracks.  "You're Sparrow?" he asked.  

Jack puffed out his chest and said cockily, "That who I be, mate.  And this woman you had your dirty mitts on is a member o' me crew.  And I be wantin' her back, savvy?"  

"Apologies," the man said with a slight bow, "I did not know the circumstances…"  

June let out a growl of frustration and smacked Sparrow upside the head.  "What…just because you're getting some means no one else can?!  I'm through with you!" she slurred.  She yanked on her coat and hat, and was about to head through the door when the bartender stopped her in her tracks, holding a pistol to her head.  

"You owe me a great deal o' money, missy," he seethed, "For all that rum I've been supplyin' ye with.  It's about time ye pay your tab."

June frowned, but that frown soon vanished and was replaced with a charming grin.  "Oh, didn't you know?" she asked, batting her eyelashes, "That man over there agreed to pay me tab."  She pointed straight at Sparrow.  The bartender followed her gaze and met Sparrow's astonished stare.  When they both glanced back at where June stood, she was gone.  

"Here's what ye are payin'," the bartender said gruffly and handed Jack a worn piece of paper with scribble all over it.  Jack, who had a great deal of alcohol himself, winced as he tried to make out what it said.  

And when he finally made sense of the chicken scratch, his eyes almost popped out of his head.  

"You've got to be kiddin' me!" Jack said angrily, "That was June's tab!  I'm not payin' this!"  

"You better!" the ugly, huge bartender growled, cocking his pistol at him, "I'm in no mood to play games.  She said ye would, so get out your coin purse! NOW."  

Jack muttered every single vile curse he knew under his breath as he reached for his coin purse, handed the satisfied bartender his money, even still as he stomped out into the busy streets of Tortuga and made his way back to the Pearl, blinded by rage.  

Yes, June was going to die.  

* * *

Uh oh!  That doesn't sound good!  Review please!  And I will be forever grateful!


	9. Darn Intoxication

Disclaimer:  Disney thinks me a nuisance.  YOU CAN'T CONTROL EVERYTHING, MOUSE!  I will get Sparrow!  Just you wait and see!  (I don't own anything, by the way.)

Author's Note:    Yay!  Review responses!

Eccentric Mannerisms- Oh boy!  I'm glad you be liking my stories, dearie!  I suppose Mr. Cotton's Parrot wouldn't mind eating all that extra food you dropped.  I'm happy to hear that I still keep your attention glued to the screen still into chapter eight!  That's a good sign, I'd say!  Thanks!

Tora Aykanami- Falling out of the chair laughing?  Yay!  Can I join in, too?  After all, it's the best medicine…second to rum, of course.  (wink)

NazgulGirl-  Okay, I surrender!  (covers shins)  Here's another chapter for ye, savvy?

XqUiSiTeChErRy-  Jack is going to do quite a lot, now that he's drunk!  Woot!  Drunk as a skunk!  That's a lot of 'please's.  I think I'm going to call Guiness Book of World Records.  You may make it in there.  

Cayenne Pepper Powder- You're the bee's knees!  I know what you mean.  Usually I don't enjoy stories where Will and Elizabeth are apart from one reason or the other…perhaps it's because he's not the one I think is hunkalicious?  *wink wink again*  And thank you so much for the compliments about the characters.  I appreciate it!

Amarie Helyanme- Hey, chica!  Love getting reviews from you all the time.  Don't worry, Jack won't kill June…he has… "other plans".  : )

Leanan Sidhe- Ah HA!  Now you must update, you updating fiend!  And make sure to take a peek at the end of the chapter, for I am heeding your advice.  This is going to be uber awesome!  The "woe" quote was one of my personal faves, too.  Great minds think alike, remember that.  (wink)  Whew, I'm getting parched from all the winking in this author's note.  And if I had a chance to jump into your stories and meet Sands or Abberline, I wouldn't hesitate to jump them immediately.  I guess I have less self control.  Good luck writing!  I enjoy your chapters immensely!

Plateado- Hey, bud!  Congrats on finishing _Secrets of the Caribbean_.  It was wonderfully fantastic, I assure you.  Seeing William with his bottom stuck in a water barrel would have been quite the treat.  I'd pay to see that.  June and Jack do set each other off quite easily, don't they?  But we love 'em so.  Thanks for reading, my pal!  Gold stars for you!

Emma436- Indeed something good happens in this chapter…I think!  It all depends on what you view as something 'good'!  I always like your reviews, luv.  Gives me the warm fuzzies inside, honestly.  Thanks for reading!

Orliandviggochic- Thanks so much!  (big fanfiction.net hug, shortly followed by the secret handshake of justice)  Here's your update!

TheSiriusSparrow-  We meet again, SiriusSparrow!  Your reviews are so awesome, there are no words.  Clearly they rock my socks as well.  Wonderful phrase.  "Rocks my socks" shall forever prevail in the English language.  Yeah, if had to listen to sniveling Will for more than five minutes straight, I would not hesitate to toss him in glue, roll him in Cracker Jacks, and send a flock of wild geese after him.  (laughs wildly)  Ah, it's too good a mental picture.  

Jaxindi- You are so sweet!  Thank you so much for reading and its reviews like yours that are just the icing on the cake of writing stories.  I hope you like this chapter, and don't be afraid to speak your mind about it!  I appreciate it.  One pirate sword for you!  (sure, it may be a wooden one, but you can never be too safe…you could poke your eye out!)  

-See the bottom of this chapter for an important announcement-

                                                            Read on, mateys!

                                                                        PineAppleLint

* * *

            "Will," Ana snapped, "Could you be any heavier?"  

            William Turner mumbled something incoherently through his closed lips in response.  

            "Well, say something!" she replied in exasperation, "Or has all the wine gone to your brain?"

            "You told me not to speak and I am obeying your wishes," he said in irritation, "So do not poke and prod at me.  This was your doing."  

            "_My _doing?" she asked with a snort, "Did I shovel all that drink down your throat?  Did I hold a funnel between your lips and empty a bottle or two into it?  I think not!  Now…stop talking!"

            He muttered something under his breath and she glared at him.  "What was that?" she questioned icily, "I missed that last remark, _William_."  

            "That is because I said it quietly so you wouldn't hear what I was calling you, _Anastasia_," he retorted, then fixed his gaze back on the path in front of them.  Ever so slowly, he began leaning more of his weight onto her just to piss her off.  

            Letting out an 'ooooopf', she struggled to keep upright as they climbed the steady hill up to the docks.  

            "You owe me," she seethed when he belched purposefully next to her face, "Christ, you smell like donkey arse."  

            "I owe you nothing," he replied arrogantly.  Or, at least, trying to make it sound all arrogant, but the slur ruined it.  They made their way onto the docks and she pushed him off of her.  

            "Stay here," she ordered, pointing at his feet, "And try not to do anything stupid, as Jack puts it ever so nicely, while I prepare our boat."  

            Will glared at her, pursed his lips together, and crossed his arms.  He leaned against one of the wooden posts, silently fuming.  

            Ana turned her back and began walking down to the end of the dock, trying to figure out which boat had been theirs, when she heard a splash.  

            Whirling back around, she realized William Turner was gone.  

* * *

            June was in a nervous wreck.  She had seen Jack in the distance, following after her in his own rowboat, looking ready to strangle her with his bandanna.  She had never rowed so fast in her damn life.  At the moment she had locked herself in her and Ana's room, praying he'd be too drunk to want to go after her.  The rum was beginning to cause a topsy-turvy affect on her as well, and it didn't feel so dandy.  

            Suddenly, the door was kicked in and she gasped, pressing herself against the far corner of the wall as Sparrow walked through.  He was a man on a mission, and nothing was going to get in his way.  

            Looking around the room, his eyes locked on hers.  

            "You'll have to pay for that door," she pointed out meekly.  

            "Like I had to pay for all those kegs o' rum?" he asked flatly.  She stood up quickly from her cot and watched him as he began to circle her.  Jack Sparrow had found his prey.  Now he was just contemplating on how to bring it down in the most painful way possible.  

            His trinkets jingled, his coat flapped against his legs, his boots 'thunk'ed against the floor.  Jack's kohl-rimmed eyes were full of fire.  And that was what scared her the most.  There was no mischief in those eyes to accompany that fire.  This time, it wasn't a game.  He was done with her and her pranks.  

            "What did ye expect me to do?" she asked, "Ye embarrassed me in front o' the men.  That wasn't good form." 

            "And ye ne'er do anythin' o' that sort to me, ever," he shot back sarcastically.  His words sloppily ran together like hers had been doing for the past two hours.

            Two drunk pirates + disagreement = brawl.  June never did like math.  

            "I think it's about time ye lose some o' that dignity you're so intent on keepin'," he drawled darkly, "And I think I 'ave just the thing for ye.  Ye can thank me mum, rest her soul, for this one."  

            "Your drunk, Jack…" June said, "Don't do anythin' rash you'll regret later."  

            "I'm drunk sames as you," he shot back, "So don't prattle on."  Then he yanked her to him.  

            June cried out as he fisted a hand into her hair and dragged her over to the cot, where he sat.  "Stand still," he demanded with a slur.  She did as she was told, not knowing what to expect…

            …until he yanked down her breeches, exposing her knickers.  "Jack!" she shouted, "What in hell do ye think you're doing?"  She tried to pull them up again but he grabbed her and flung her over his knee, causing her rump to stick up in the air like she was doing acrobatics.  

            Then he slapped her hard on the buttocks.  She cried out and yelled, "This isn't funny, Jack!  Let me UP!"  She thrashed and struggled but he pinned her there.  

            "When I was bad as a tot," he said, "Me mum used to punish me.  Me arse would be pink for a week, let me tell you!"  And he slapped her again.  

            Under different circumstances, June would think it was incredibly kinky to have the infamous Captain Jack Sparrow spanking her on her rear end, but this was downright WRONG.  That callused, rough hand had one hell of a bite to it, and her ass cheeks were beginning to sting like hell.  

            "Apologize!" he ordered, his hand connecting with her rump again with such force she bit her lip to keep from moaning in pain.  

            "Just stop this insanity!" she cried, beginning to feel lightheaded from the awkward position she was in over his knee.  

            "Apologize!" he repeated angrily, slapping her again.  

            "I'm sorry!" June replied hastily, "I'm sorry for everythin' I've put ye through, I'm sorry for the pranks and the jokes and the useless banter!  Just let me go, please!"  

            Sparrow let go of her and she fell to the floor in a humiliated heap.  Hiding her face from him, she said sharply, "This will not be spoken of…ever.  Understand?"  She felt him pick her up and set her on her feet once more, and his fingers slid the waistband of her breeches back to its regular place.  "I cannot believe ye just did that," she said with a shake of her head, letting out a snort of laughter, "Its unreal, that's what it is."  

            When Jack didn't answer, she glanced up at him.  Something in his deep brown eyes changed.  He seemed…unsure about something, lost.  Like he didn't know what to do next.  

            "I have a feeling I'll remember this in the mornin' and hate meself for it," he muttered.  

            "Most likely," she agreed, "And I'll just wake up hatin' ye like always.  How's that for a good deal?  We can blame it on alcohol."  

            "Too much of it, that's for damn sure," Jack replied with a grin, touching his goatee thoughtfully.  

            "Sparrow?" she asked suddenly, "Why did ye want me off o' that bloke's lap?  Did it really bother ye that much?"  His eyes met hers and he looked uncomfortable, surprised, unnerved she'd even ask such a thing.  

            "I don't care who ye go gallivantin' off with," he responded flatly, narrowing his eyes at her, "That means I don't have to bother meself with ye anymore, and I like it that way."  

            "Perhaps ye were just protectin' me chaste self," she thought aloud, smiling to herself, "Jack Sparrow, the protector of chastity.  What a lovely title!"  

            "Chaste?  Ye are no where near chaste," he guffawed, eyeing her suspiciously, "And I wouldn't protect it.  Even if I was paid to do so!"  

            "How nice," she stated with a roll of her eyes, "It's nice to know ye care so much.  You're lucky I'm inebriated o' else I'd be kickin' yer arse right now for that horrible punishment display and those cruel words just now."  

            "Nah," Jack cringed, "I bet yer going to do that tomorrow mornin', bright and early."

            "Well, then I better get me shut eye if I'm going to be kickin' yer ass," June retorted, "You best be getting rest too, ye know, to prepare for bein' awfully beaten up."  

            "Hellcat," Sparrow replied with malice.  

            "Bastard."

            "Whore."  

            "Eunuch."

            "Bi…" Sparrow was cut off by June nuzzling the side of his face.  He froze in shock.  _It's the rum, it's the rum…_he chanted in his thoughts, but his eyes widened when he saw his own hands disobey him and run down her spine.  

            "Your whiskers tickle," she breathed, her hot breath caressing the flesh of his cheek.  

            "Luv, may I point out ye're quite intoxicated?" he stammered.

            "May I point out the same thing about ye?" she whispered, opening her black eyes, "I just want to kiss ye goodnight.  Is that too much to ask?"

            Jack Sparrow didn't answer.  His mind was swarming with crazy thoughts, desire was flowing on the current of his bloodstream, and all the while his conscience was shouting _no! no! no!_  _You hate her, remember?_

            "Is that too much to ask?" she repeated.  He let out a slow breath when her fingers traced the outline of his belt, and swallowed hard when she ran a thumb down the holster of his pistol.  

            "June Oleander, I advise ye to stop this behavior," he commanded hoarsely, his voice cracking when her hands crept underneath his shirt and stroked his tan, quivering abdomen.  

            Gathering up all the will power he had stored away, he used it and took own step away from her.  

            "Good night, June," he said sharply.  

            "G'night, Captain.  El Capitan."  She giggled and fell back into her cot, one leg slung over the side.  June immediately began to snore.  

            Jack should have taken off her boots, made her comfortable, but he was oddly frightened.  So he walked as quickly as he could out of her cabin and locked himself in his own, throwing his clothes to the floor and jumping into his large bed.  Jack was sweating like mad.  

            "Oh, the bloodiest o' all hangovers," he moaned, "Please claim me when the sun rises." 

 As he punched the pillow a couple times before settling down into a restless sleep, Sparrow desperately hoped he did not remember the happenings of that night come morning.  

* * *

            "William Turner!" Anastasia shouted, "You show yourself this very instant!  Stop acting like a wee lad and face me!"  She was answered with silence, yet again.  Glancing over into the murky grey waters, she saw bubbles floating to the surface and popping gently.  Holy hellfire on a stick.  

            "What is a girl to do?" she muttered while she yanked off her dress angrily, "Now I have to get half naked, jump in and save the bumbling fool from drowning."  Pausing for a moment, she reconsidered this.  "But if he died, all this banter of his long lost love would perish into thin air!"  Grumbling to herself as she stood there in her bodice and slip, she added, "Tis a shame I love the bastard so much," and dove in.  

            She opened her eyes, the salt water stinging a little, and found him at the bottom in the sand, unconscious, and tiny blue fish were nibbling on his earlobes.  Ana grabbed him and struggled to drag him along with her to the top of the water.  Gasping for air when she hit the surface, she careened his bobbing form to the shore.  

            Shoving him onto solid land, she dropped in exhaustion next to him.  

            "Aw, he's so peaceful when he has water in his lungs," she thought aloud with a tilt of her head, examining him.  Pinching his nose, she hesitated when she realized her mouth was going to be on his.  She was going to lock lips with Will Turner!  Not the most romantic of circumstances, but hey, she'd take what was thrown at her.  When she settled her mouth on his she concluded that his lips were full, almost feminine, but cold from lack of oxygen.  She breathed steadily into his mouth and he immediately choked.  Reeling back, she watched as he coughed up water and gasped for air once again.  

            They sat still for a couple of moments, and Will finally said with narrowed eyes, "I never knew you'd try to kill me."  

            "_Excuse me?_" she scoffed, "In case you don't remember, oh-Smart-One, _you _fell in.  I _saved you _from drowning and getting eaten by fish.  That is why you are _here_, as it were."  

            He glanced around himself and said tiredly, "Perhaps you are right."  

            "Not 'perhaps', Will," she seethed, "You owe me an apology."  

            "No I don't."  

            She was about to open her mouth and say some very nasty, unladylike things when he explained what he meant.  "No, not only an apology," Will said, touching the side of her face, "Anastasia, I owe you my life."   

* * *

CROIKEY!  CHARACTER CONTEST!  AVAST!

The gang is going to hang out in Tortuga for one more day!  Ah, but if Anastasia Walker wants to learn how to be a pirate, she's got to have the effects of one, aye?  Readers, writers, start your engines!  PineAppleLint needs a character for her next chapter of _Make Him Move On_!  We need a woman who runs her own shop that carries pistols, swords, and the like…and need we say…will she catch Sparrow's eye?  And make June jealous?  Who knows!  That's up to you to decide!  So write a review to PineAppleLint describing your character in any way possible.  When reviews trickle down to nothing, PaL will choose the best one and low and behold, use it in Chapter Ten!  

**Good luck!**


	10. Holy Hellcats!

Disclaimer:  I do not own Pirates of the Caribbean, no matter how many stars I wish upon, I just don't.  But I do own June and Ana.  And the lucky winners from the Character Contest own their characters.  Let's move on, shall we?

Author's Notes:  There were so many reader responses, I was overjoyed!  Let me tell you, there were dozens of wonderful characters, and I had the hardest time trying to pick two out that went with the story the best.  That's right…_two_!  Now for those who didn't have their character chosen…let's just say there's going to be other opportunities in the future of this story to flex those imaginative muscles of yours (wink) so don't give up hope.  I love seeing what you guys come up with.  You are so darn creative.  

            So, why don't we continue on?  Special 'thank yous' at the end of the chappie.  Enjoy Chapter ten, mates!

                                                                                    PineAppleLint

* * *

            A very disgruntled Ana pulled herself into her cot, feeling rather fatigued from the long night of "Will-sitting."  The squeaking sound of the mattress accompanying Ana's movements jerked June awake rather suddenly, forcing her to go plummeting off of the side of her own cot.  

            "Damn parrots from HELL!" she murmured angrily, half-asleep.  She shook her head to regain some sort of consciousness and looked up at her tired friend with bloodshot eyes.  "Where 'ave _you _been?  Necking with Mr. Turner, no doubt?"

            "No necking.  Bugger it, June, don't you have any decency in you left?  What happened to the sweet, polite June I knew as a girl?"  

            "She's long gone, dearie, sorry to burst your bubble.  I was just asking a rather intr…inted..interestin' question."  

            "Your intoxicated, aren't you?" Ana sighed.  When June grinned in response, she added, "That's it.  I'm going to bed."  As she nestled into the ratty covers, she heard June grunt in annoyance. 

            "So ye won't be telling me where you were?"  

            "If you must know," Ana said sharply, not even turning to face her, "I was tucking in Will, who was drunk as well."  

            "Good girl!  Getting him drunk is getting somewhere."  Ana glared in June's direction, who was swaying in her cot, tapping her chin in thought, "And ye 'tucked him in'?  Damn, is that what ye children are callin' it nowadays?"  

            "Go to sleep, June."  

            "Yes, mum," June retorted in a high pitched accent, mocking the daylights out of her, until she fell back into her cot once more.  Ana leaned over and studied June's still form.  Yup.  As unconscious as a brick.  

            Finally, she would get some peace and quiet…

            But tomorrow was a brand new day.  

* * *

            Jack groaned as sunlight hit his eyes rather harshly.  His head was dully throbbing, and he rubbed it through his thick mass of dreads.  

            _ The hangover wasn't as bad as I wanted it to be…_

He winced and stretched in his blankets like a large cat, and commenced in finding his pillow through sleep-blurred eyes.  Instead, he touched rough wood.  

            _What the hell?_

Jack forced his eyes open and realized that instead of lying in his comfy king-sized bed, he was lying outside…in the middle of the deck.  He was naked, of course, but wrapped in his sheets. 

            He sat up rigidly, his mouth hanging open, trying to figure out if he had forgotten what happened last night…no, nothing rang a bell as to why he'd be in the nude out on display for everyone to see.  He had gone to bed, like always, and remembered himself sinking back in those fluffy white pillows before he blacked out.  

            His crew was whistling, going on with their daily chores as usual around him, not even paying attention to their shocked Captain.  

            Of course, then his answer to everything sauntered up to him with a smug look on her tanned face.  

            "Good mornin', Captain," June greeted with a wave.  She stopped about a foot away, towering over his body, blocking the sun from his eyes, "I trust ye slept well?"  

            Before he got a chance to answer, she continued: "It's a pity ye missed breakfast.  Thankfully I saved ye some."

            He didn't see it coming.  She pulled a tiny pot of who knows what from behind her back and, without warning, dumped it onto his head.  

Luke warm grits slowly slid down his hair, face, and chest.  

            "Mmm, mmm, I heard they were you're favorite," June said pleasantly, "Enjoy!"  He gritted his teeth and wildly looked around him, daring any member of his crew to utter one damn word.  

            She crouched down next to him and smiled at the flustered look on his face.  There was steam coming out of his ears.  Or, at least there would have been if they hadn't been full of grits.  

            "Payback for last night.  Ever pull somethin' like that again and I'll kill ye, you understand?  And I don't give a fuck whether you're Captain Jack Sparrow o' the cabin boy.  No one, absolutely _no one _messes with me like that and gets away with it, understand?"  

            He clenched his teeth and glared at her.  "We'll deal with this later," he warned.  

            "O' course, me darling.  You just enjoy your breakfast for now." 

            Jack was about to curse at her when she leaned in and kissed him.  

            He was so shocked, he didn't even respond.  Her warm lips rubbed seductively against his and she broke away ever so softly, licking the grits from her mouth.  "Yum.  Me compliments to the cook."  With one final wink, she added, "Get ready…we're goin' window shoppin', savvy?", and left him to gape at her, then storm off into his cabin, his sheets wrapped around him like an out-of-fashion skirt.  

* * *

            A half hour later, Will was escorting Ana down the road politely by offering her his arm, which she took good-naturedly after his heartfelt apology about the night before.  

            "I don't remember much," he had said with a grimace, "But what I do remember, I know I acted like a blooming idiot."  He had dark circles under his beautiful brown eyes and his gaze was weary. 

            _Probably feeling the affects of his late night escapade_, she thought with an amused little smirk, _Serves him right, too_.

            Jack, on the other hand, was trailing behind June quite a ways, who was leading the foursome God-knows-where.  She looked a bit lost, which was making Jack crosser.  But he simply kept his mouth shut and quietly eyed her, staring like he thought she had a disease or he wanted to strangle her.  William Turner concluded it was probably a mixture of the two.  

            "Where are we going?" Ana asked, impatience edging her tone.  Will smiled reassuringly down at her.

            "Will and I had a talk this mornin' about getting ye some effects, me dear," June called over her shoulder, "And currently, I'm tryin' to find a half-decent shop where we can get ye some."  

            "And out o' whose pocket is that comin' from?" Jack muttered.  

            June smiled secretly to herself before waving a small pouch over her shoulder, jingling the contents inside menacingly.  

            Jack frowned.  _That bloody looks familiar…_  Hell, it was his!  She had fucking pick-pocketed his coin pouch right out from underneath his nose! 

            "Why ye little…" he swore but she held up a finger.  

            "Not in front o' the lady, Sparrow," she tsked.  June paused, thoughtfully stopping in front of an old grey brick building, adorned with a creaky wooden door and a small sign with an inscription carved into its center.  

            Jack grabbed June by the wrist and forced his pouch out of her hand by squeezing mercilessly.  

            "Ow, ow…all right, I got it, ye oaf!" she yelled, tearing her arm away from him and massaging her wrist, all the while shooting him a look that read: "Drop dead."  

            He mockingly blew her a kiss in return, then straightened his lopsided tricorne hat back on his head.  

            June scrunched up her nose as she struggled to read the fancy script…

            **_You don't plan to buy, don't plan to leave alive._**

****

****"Hell!" June whistled, "This is my kind o' place!"  She pushed open the door without so much as a knock and walked cockily inside.  Jack, Will, and Anastasia had no choice but to follow.  

* * *

            Jack Sparrow took one glance around the shop, and he instantly felt at home.  Ana felt nervous, being surrounded by so many interesting weapons, and Will was in awe.  The swords were handcrafted and done with such detail, he, as a blacksmith, was thoroughly impressed.  

            A window in the ceiling was the only source of light, and the sunbeams drifted down off the rafters, where a lonely pigeon hid in the corner, and fell onto the shelves and shelves of antiqued weaponry.  One corner held pistols of every shape and size, another wall hung swords of every distinction.  Daggers rested on crimson velvet in a glass case near the owner's desk.  

            _There's a treasure in e'ry overlooked corner_, June thought with a wicked smile, _Just like this treasure o' a shop is hidden in an overlooked  corner o' __Tortuga__.  _

"This is marvelous!" Ana breathed.  She let out a squeal when something nudged her foot.  Casting her gaze towards the old wooden floor, a small French bulldog sniffed at her feet appraisingly.  Its white coat stood out amongst the dark textures of the room.  

            "And who the hell is this?" Jack asked, peering down at the curious dog.  

            "That, mate, is Bullet…and who might you be?"  Jack lifted his head, his trinkets jingling in the process, and studied the woman who appeared from the back room.  She had raven hair that brushed her shoulders, with each tress braided and tied with a leather band.  Her dark blue eyes were scanning over him disapprovingly, as if she wasn't sure what to make of him.  She seemed fit from hard labor, at least, what Sparrow could tell from how her feminine body filled out those black breeches and black shirt.  Sparrow was used to studying tons of women, and this one looked like a genuine hellcat.  With a capital H.  

            "Bullet, go."  The bulldog scampered into the back room at her command.  The woman crossed her arms in front of her chest, across her bosom and tight black leather vest.  "I'm still waitin' for an answer," she replied in a slightly weathered, rich voice.  She tilted her head to the side, and Sparrow got a view of a dark tattoo on the side of her neck, just below her nape.  Kinky.  

            "I'm Captain Jack Sparrow, at yer service, luv," he answered with an arrogant smile, taking off his hat to indulge in a sweeping bow, "And I might be askin' ye the same question."  

            "The name's Devon.  Devon Duville.  And don't ye forget it."  

            "Already burned into me brain, Devon," Jack said with a wink, tapping his temple.  

            "That's MISS Duville to ye," she frowned, clearly not impressed with his obvious struggles to flirt with her.  

            "Miss Duville," Will piped up from the background, "We are here looking for some weaponry…"

            "Thank ye for pointin' that out, Cap'n Obvious.  We are clearly in a shop specializing in weaponry," Devon smirked, sarcastically saying, "And all this time I thought ye were lookin' for a corset.  Maybe a pair o' fancy shoes."  

            "Are you the owner of this shop?" Anastasia questioned anxiously.

            Devon leaned against the wall and with a flick of her hand, informed, "Nah.  Me good friend is.  I'm just visitin' for a day o' two."  

            June had picked up a pistol from the shelf, a mighty expensive looking one with dragons carved into the handle, and carelessly started tossing it into the air to check how heavy it was as she said, "Well, not tryin' to be rude, but we don't want to wait around all day for yer _friend _to get here, so ye should maybe go get her and tell her to hurry her bloody arse along so…"

            She was interrupted when a blade was held to her throat.  June swallowed hard and turned to face what she assumed was the owner.  The woman had her hair tied back, a few loose brown tendrils sweeping over her dirt smudged face.  She had a plain, freckled face, with hazel eyes that were shooting daggers at her, much like the sharp one being held rather close to the tender flesh of June's neck.  Her clothes were wrinkled and dirty, the brown breeches frayed, the white shirt now a sort of cream color from overuse.  

            "Ye break it, ye get cut, simple as that," she said in a low, threatening voice, eyeing the pistol hanging loosely in June's grasp, "That's the policy around here.  Now stop messin' the fuck around o' get out o' me shop."  

            _Wonderful_, Jack thought sarcastically, _Three__ homicidal bitches to deal with in one day! Can this get any bloody worse?_

"And what's your name?" June questioned, eyeing the woman with distaste as soon as she withdrew the dagger from her throat, "Miss I-got-me-knickers-in-a-bunch?"  

            "Regan McDowelle."  

            "Obviously, ye need to work on your people skills, _Regan_," June muttered, massaging her throat a bit, "That's not a nice way to greet customers." 

            "Oleander," Jack hissed, "Isn't it about time ye kept ye're mouth shut, for once?"  

            Regan grinned at June, raising her eyebrows at her as if she thought June was naught but a child.  "Yes, I'd listen to your Captain if I were you, girl."  

            Devon perked up from where she was slowly munching on a red apple against the far wall, and after wiping some of the juice off of her chin, and said, "Captain Jack Sparrow is thinking about buyin' some o' our goods, Regan.  It matters if he says pretty please o' not."  

            "It matters what kind o' goods you're plannin' on showin' me," Jack said impishly, letting his gaze tell all as it raked suggestively over Regan's pleasing figure.  

            "Your reputation precedes ye, Jack Sparrow," Regan replied, the undertone of her voice saying _cut out the bullshit._

            "_What _reputation's more like it," Devon said slyly, causing Jack to cast a narrow-eyed glare her way.  

            "I am a man o' many reputations, me darling McDowelle, but it just matters as to which one pleases ye the most."  

            McDowelle's gaze cut to June, who was staring back and forth at the three of them: Jack, Regan and Devon, in disgust.  Anastasia just felt like playing the spectator as she kept close to Will.  

            "Well, Captain Sparrow, make one more snide remark and I will not hesitate to let Devon here blow yer brains out.  She's a very good shot."  

            Jack grinned as he watched Devon slide a finger down the barrel of the pistol stuck in her belt, warning him without words.  

            Jack shook his head sympathetically, saying, "A woman like ye, McDowelle, seems like she doesn't get out much."  

            "Blow it out ye're hole, Captain, for I don't give a damn what ye think.  After all, your _reputation _suggests you take woman as they come to you…you study the cover, but not the whole book, ye get what I'm sayin'?  And its men like ye who make me sick.  Ye don't even know me, for fuck's sake."  

            "Apologies," Jack replied, holding his palms together and bowing a bit, "I don't know what came over me."  

            "A batch o' horniness, that's what," June muttered, rolling her eyes, "Can we just buy the damn weapons already and get out o' here?"  

            "Someone's in a foul mood this morning," Devon said, curling a loose braid back behind her ears.  

            "Jack, she's baitin' me…" June seethed.  

            "Well ye deserve it, ye bloody nuisance," he shot back in irritation.  The two pirates glared at each other for a moment before breaking the heated stare.  Devon lifted an eyebrow in quiet speculation.  One look between Jack and June and that's all it took.  

            Devon had a theory.  After all, she had always been good about reading other people's emotions and what caused them.  Bickering as such could be a result of two emotions, hate and love, both of which Devon was very familiar with.  

            After all, just ask her dead fiancée.  

* * *

That was just a little taste of the new characters.  More to come in the next chapter, as well as…dare I say it…a developing plotline?

Thanks to…

Leanan Sidhe- Your character description has to be one of the best I've gotten.  I love receiving your reviews, because each one is a new adventure!  I hope Regan lived up to your expectations.   She is certainly one hell of a character to write. : )  And I'm expecting a certain _From Hell _story to be updated in the near future…

The Dutchess of Doom- Your review was so creative!  Very different from others I've received.  And thank you so much for all the feedback on my stories…its people like you who I strive to update for.  Devon kicks arse…and maybe that phrase will become literal in the next chappie…you never know…

Certain replies I have to add…

Plateado- Hey bud!  I just wanted to say, wow, thanks for the review.  Scarlett is such an awesome character, but after your story, I can't see her with anyone other than Jack.  LoL  I know, life is cruel like that, but you've created such a strong relationship in your fiction, to me it would feel like a crime to mess with that.  Good luck with your future writing!

Elf's Bonny Lass- Woot!  Thanks for the response!  Did you see how Will called himself a blooming idiot in this chappie?  (wink)  Dedicated to you, my dear!  

To all the wonderful, fantabulous reviewers, I THANK YOU!  From the bottom of my heart.  You guys rock my socks.  


	11. Huh? A Tattoo?

Disclaimer:  I own nothing from _Pirates of the Caribbean_.  Absitively posolutely nothing!  And I am so peeved that they moved the release of the sequel back to 2006.  Grr.

Author's Notes:  Alas, I am back and ready for action once again.  It has been quite humorous watching some of you (cough Leanan Sidhe and Dutchess of Doom, cough cough) try to threaten me to update until I cracked under all of the pressure.  And of course, I would never neglect you, darling reviewers!  This chappie is dedicated to all of you who have a little pirate spirit in you.  (wink)     

                                                                        PineAppleLint

---------

-After all, just ask her dead fiancée.-

            Devon raised an eyebrow in quiet speculation until she licked her lips and said smoothly, "Captain Sparrow's been a bit rude to us, hasn't he, Regan?" 

            "I'd say so.  I wonder how he can make it up to us…or perhaps we shouldn't allow him that chance?" Regan replied as she cocked her pistol at Jack, unlocking the safety, grinning as the threatening 'click' resounded off of the walls. 

            Jack said with a smirk, letting his brown eyes mockingly well up with tears, "No, please…I beg of ye, ladies!  I have three lil' ones at home!  A wife!  A dog with two legs!" 

            Harsh laughter erupted from Devon's ruby lips.  Regan walked confidently over to place her gleaming pistol against the revealed, tanned flesh of Jack's chest from the gaping opening of his shirt.  "Do you dare laugh in the face of death, Captain?"

            "Why _not_ laugh, my luv?  I view life as a celebration, drink up me 'earties and all that, so why not view death as the like?" 

            "You're a fool, Captain," she growled, narrowing her eyes at him, "Men like you cause others pain just so you can so called 'celebrate'.  You steal, murder, cheat and lie.  You fake a prosperous life because you're too insecure to make anythin' else of yourself." 

            Jack took a step closer to her, pressing the barrel of the pistol into his chest.  It must have hurt, but he didn't let his discomfort show.  "Ye are quite mistaken, luv.  The pirate's life _is_ rewarding.  I think what you ought to be doin' is takin' a good look of yourself, savvy?  Because instead of giving into me charms and experiencin' the most fulfillin' night of your life tonight, ye would rather shoot me down on the spot." 

            June stepped up and savagely yanked the pistol out of Regan's grip as Regan was momentarily stunned by Jack's blunt statement, and stepped between her and Sparrow.  She fired the shot into the air, the bullet passing through the roof.  Then she threw it to the floor and kicked it underneath a table. 

            "I think that's quite enough out of both of ye," June hissed, "And the only person allowed to threaten Sparrow is me. Got that, McDowelle?" 

            In a flash, both women had their swords drawn and pointing at each other within close range. 

            "Ye seem like ye have a need to die, Oleander," McDowelle spat.

            "And before I die, I would like to see your head rolling across the floor!" 

            "Ladies, ladies…no use fightin' over Jack Sparrow," he said with a catlike grin, amused at all of the fuss. 

            "Blow it out ye're hole, Captain," Regan said angrily. 

            "Ye seem rather found o' that little phrase, luv." 

            June turned and pointed her blade at a surprised Sparrow.  "How about it, Regan?  I'll help ye take him down if you're willing." 

            "It's Miss McDowelle, and I think we should cut the poor bastard some slack."  The uptight lass actually grinned before sheathing her sword and wiping the sweat off of her brow.

            "Are ye all quite finished?" Devon yawned, "Because I'm getting quite bored watchin' ye all quarrel yourselves to death."   She turned to Will and Ana, asking, "And what are ye looking for, exactly?" 

            "Something not too complicated," Will Turner said hastily, "Something she could easily get used to and will protect her to the fullest extent…" 

            "Are you saying I can't handle _any_ sort of weaponry, Mr. Turner?" Anastasia questioned with a sarcastic little scowl. 

            "Nothing of the sort, darling, I'm just saying the simpler, the better, is all," he replied quickly with a reassuring smile, keeping his hand at the small of her back. 

            "I think I have what you need," Regan said half to herself as she scurried behind the counter, rummaging through boxes and shelves before she extracted a small bundle of velvet. 

            Anastasia hesitantly lifted the folds of the fabric and marveled at the handsome pistol lying before her…it had small rubies crafted down the sides and was neatly polished.  Simple, but beautiful.  A true pirate's pistol. 

            "How do you like it, Anastasia?" Will asked, looking down at her expectantly.

            "It's lovely," she beamed, "Absolutely lovely."

            "We'll take it," Will replied, winking at Ana before Regan brought him to the side to discuss the cost of such a fine piece of weaponry.  Ana watched him hand over the money, not being able to tell what amount he held in the palm of his hand, and Regan delightedly placed the coins in her pocket.

            Meanwhile, Jack had made his way over to Devon, innocently resting against the wall where she was perched.  He sifted one of her braids through his fingers and said, interested, "This is a great hair style, Duville.  Almost as great as mine, I must say."

            "Paws off, pirate," she snapped, not even bothering to look up from the dusty novel she was reading. 

            He lifted his hands up in an almost feminine matter.  Devon saw this and a little half smile graced her lips. 

            "So what can I call ye, luv, since ye are so intent on keepin' me nose out of your business.  Duville?  Miss Duville?  Devon? Luv?"

            "Devon's just fine, I suppose.  Just don't be thinkin' that means we're on friendly terms."

            "Of course not.  I just want to know what I should be whispering into yer ear in the midst of our wild night together."  Devon dropped her book.  Jack grinned as he watched her pick it up in a flustered flurry of movements.  He had succeeded, and that little fact made his ego inflate even more so. 

            "Where are your manners, Captain?" she asked with a narrow-eyed stare.

            "I don't know.  Why don't ye help me look for 'em?" 

            "Well, if I find them Captain Sparrow, I won't hesitate to shove them up your arse." 

            "Touché, luv," he remarked with a smirk, "Touché."

            "How about to make up for all of this banter, you buy Regan and I a drink, hmm?  Hell, make it a couple and I will make it well worth your while."  Jack lifted his eyebrows.  That steady glance she sent his way with those dark blue eyes was just enough to make him catch the hint. 

            June, who was in the middle of pretending to search the shelves in order to eavesdrop on their conversation, was absolutely furious.  Who did she think she was?  Hell, who did Jack think he was?  Jack was a…a...a MAN WHORE! 

            "Let me go tell Regan the lovely news, aye?  Won't be but a moment," Devon said emotionlessly as she sauntered over behind the counter.

            "Hey lovey, the Captain's nice enough to buy us both a rum or two." 

            "With that man, he'd do anything to get into a woman's breeches," Regan replied softly with a snort.  When Devon didn't answer, Regan said in exasperation, "Oh no.  Not you, too.  In one o' your little moods, eh?" 

            "I haven't had a man in a while, Regan.  Cut a girl some slack, why don't ye?  Sparrow's more than offerin'…it'd be a pity to turn it down." 

            Ana and Will had already grabbed the wrapped pistol and were making their way out of the shop.  Soon, Devon and Jack followed, Regan was walking alone after them, and June was cursing up a storm as she trailed behind, kicking at the dirt.  What the hell was she going to do?  But the question of the hour was: why did she bloody CARE?

----------

            An hour later, Ana and Will watched June down mug after mug of rum, drowning in the alcohol as she picked at her fingernails and stared helplessly down at the floor in a pitiful daze. 

            Devon had found her way onto Jack's lap, straddling him as she held up the mug of rum to his lips with a devilish smile.  He had his arms wrapped around her, not allowing her to escape from his clutches.  Every once in a while, when he saw fit to do so, he flirtatiously ground her hips into his ever so slightly.  The motion was not lost on June, who sighed in disgust whenever they engaged in such activity. 

            The tavern was loud, violent, and bustling with drunks and whores.  Like every tavern in Tortuga should be.  Yet June wasn't feeling in the right state of mind tonight.  And those two reasons were sitting right across from her.

            When June glanced up again, her eyes widened instantly when she caught the sight of Devon and Jack kissing rather intimately…kissing usually reserved for acts behind closed doors.  For a moment or two, she was hypnotized by the professional way Jack's lips played with Devon's, how he seemed to indulge in her mouth before she had to force her eyes away in enraged embarrassment. 

            Regan had her boots resting casually on their table and she was conversing with a relaxed Will and Ana. 

            "That's an awful sight, ain't it?" Regan said with a shake of her head, pointing towards a sickened June and the kissing pair across from her, "She's jealous."

            "June?  Jealous?  She hates Jack," Will scoffed.

            "They've been fighting ever since they've met…" Ana agreed casually, tracing the outline of the table with her finger. 

            "Exactly.  She enjoys him.  Same with your Captain.  I've got to put an end to this…it's even disgusting _me_.  Oy, Devon!" Regan called.

            Devon frowned and looked up, growling, "Kind of in the middle o' something, dearie.  Can't it wait?"

            "Yes, she's busy," Jack murmured into Devon's neck, "Very busy." 

            "June Oleander here is thinkin' about getting a tattoo." 

            Devon's attention was instantly brought upon a drunken June. 

            "What?  I…huh?" June stammered.

            "You came to the right woman, gel!" Devon said cheekily, "I'm one o' the best tattoo artists in the Caribbean!"  She hopped out of Jack's embrace and practically skipped over to her.

            "Hey!  But what about our wild night together?!" Jack cried, looking rather angry and disappointed as he crossed his arms and sent her the best pouty look he could muster.

            "Sod off, Captain.  Come with me, Oleander, and we will see what we can cook up!" 

            June was about to deny Regan's outrageous proposal of her getting a tattoo, but she suddenly realized that it would distract Devon from a rather aroused Jack…and at the moment June couldn't stand to see them together for one more instant.  And she was rather intoxicated once more…so what harm could it do?  She consented.  A tattoo just sounded like another interesting adventure.

            "Yes…that sounds good enough to me," June slurred.  Placing her hat on her head at a jaunty angle, she stumbled out of the tavern, following Devon to carry out the painful task.

-------------------

            "DAMMIT!  Ye said this wouldn't hurt, woman!" June groaned as she kept her shirt up and her pants low, cringing as the needle slid in and out of her skin. 

            "I bloody lied, so what?  Just keep still, ye big baby," Devon ordered through clenched teeth, "You're so fidgety, you're going to make the letters crooked." 

            "This better look nice," June snorted, her head whirling as the alcohol gripped her, "Oooh, the room's spinning."

            "If ye pass out, it would make the job so much easier for me.  Are ye sure this is what ye want?" Devon asked with a grin, "After all, it was sort of a spontaneous request.  And yer half drunk, might I point out."

            A soft gurgle was her only reply.  June had passed out just like Devon had predicted.

            "I have a feelin' you're going to regret this in the mornin'," Devon snickered, "But that will make the new day all the more interestin', aye?" 

            Then she got to work. 

--------------------

Oh boy!  Devon and Regan are cool chicks!  And there will more 'plot' in the next chapter, I promise…I'm just having too much fun developing new conflicts…and I also promise more Ana and Will story interaction as well, savvy?  So be really bad eggs until next update!  (which will, in fact, be sooner than a month from now)

Please review! 


	12. Undo it! Undo it NOW!

Disclaimer:  I don't own anything from _Pirates of the Caribbean_ except my own characters, plotline, hijinks…

Author's Notes:  Thanks for the lovely reviews…and here is the chapter, updated quickly like I promised.  Want to know what's going to happen throughout this story?  Well if I told you that, I'd have to tickle your feet.  And I would prefer not to, thanks very much.  Oh boy, do I love being random!

                                                                        PineAppleLint

----------------

            _June was running through the steaming hot  sand.  With every step she took, the sand slowed her until she felt like she was diving in murky quicksand.  With a shrill yell, she sank through the sand and fell on top of Jack Sparrow.  She was in his dark cabin on his luxurious bed.  _

_            "Thought you'd never make it, luv," he said huskily, rolling her over so he was on top, straddling her abdomen with his thighs, "Now let's make this a night you'll never forget…"  She leaned up, ready to kiss those handsome lips when she touched metal.  She was in a jail cell…shackled to the wall, bloodied and beaten.  Her head lolled to one side and she caught sight of Jack, Ana, and Will sneering as they stared at her from the opposite side of the bars.  _

_            "May this be a lesson to you…" Ana growled fiercely, "I hope you burn in hell for your crimes…"_

            June groaned and opened her eyes.  She was sweating up a storm, and the sudden light caused her head and her ears to throb from the drinking excursion she had the night before. 

            _Oh hell.  The night before…what happened?  That was a fucked up dream…where am I, dammit?  _

Questions swirled around in her mind like a ship in a raging typhoon.  Suddenly, bits and pieces she remembered from the night struck her like a biting whip, the pieces to the puzzle finally coming together in her weary brain.

            _Jack…__Devon__…kissing…went with __Devon__ for a…tattoo?  Oh shit.  _

            She was lying on a wooden table in the front section of Regan's weaponry shop, one leg slung over the side and her clothing rumpled, her hair fanned out around her head.  June massaged her forehead and stared down at herself.  Her shirt was bloodied and the waist band of her trousers rolled down.  A white bandage was pressed to the flesh of her right lower hip, and it was soaked with a bit of crimson blood as well. 

            She hissed through her teeth when she slowly peeled the bandage off to reveal a tattoo as big as her palm. 

            NO.  It couldn't be!  **Damn, damn, damn, damn rum to hell and back!  Damn ****Devon****!  Damn TATTOOS!  **

It was Jack Sparrow's emblem.  The one with the sparrow flying across a sunset over the horizon.  And it had 'Jack' inscrolled beneath it in fancy calligraphy. 

            The first emotion that came into play was shock, then denial, then plain wonderment as she tried to guess just how many rums she had drowned in the night before to make such a retarded decision.  Then she became deadly angry. 

            Grabbing her pistol, not even bothering to straighten out her clothes or put the bandage back on, she stormed into the back room where Regan and Devon were lazily talking.

            "Stupid bitch," June growled, pointing her pistol at an unsurprised Devon, "How…what…why?  Just _why_?!" 

            "Oh, good mornin', sleepyhead," Devon drawled, her eyes twinkling with wicked amusement, "I hope you're well rested.  After all, you sure were loaded to the gunwalls last night." 

            June's mouth gaped open as she pointed to her new tattoo, waving her arms about without words. 

            "Oh, that?" Devon laughed, "I asked you what ye wanted and ye said you had to have that.  Plain and simple.  Kept babbling on how it was such an elegant tattoo and that ye wanted one yourself.  I decided the 'Jack' on the bottom would just tie the whole thing together, don't ye agree?" 

            Steam was coming out June's ears.  "Undo it," June said, voice shaking, "Undo it now!"

            "Unfortunately, I can't, silly gel.  You're going to have that for as long as ye live, savvy?  It looks nice on ye, though.  The stinging should go away in a couple of days.  And I'm pretty sure Jack will appreciate it." 

            "How drunk WAS I?!" June groaned, collapsing into a chair and letting out another moan when her sore tattooed hip throbbed from her movements, "I…he…Jack will ne'er know.   Never." 

            "Oh, ye were pretty sloshed," Regan remarked with a grin. 

            "And you!  YOU suggested I get one in the first place!" June shouted, glaring at Regan who was staring back innocently. 

            "Well I couldn't stand to see Devon stickin' her tongue down Sparrow's throat for one more instant, that's all.  Had to distract her somehow."

            Devon snorted and crossed her arms.  June's eyes grew stormy as she said, "I think we all felt that way, McDowelle.  Trust me."

            Devon readjusted her black leather vest before picking up her French bulldog, Bullet, off the floor, and began to stroke him lovingly.  "I ne'er got to finish the job, too," Devon replied, sighing in disappointment, "That man sure has a way wit' his hands.  I wanted to be the best lay he's ever had." 

            "Oh, here we go," Regan said with a roll of her eyes, running a hand through her brown locks before getting out her pistol and beginning to polish it. 

            "Well, come on!" Devon grinned, slapping her old friend on the back, "At least I 'ave a good number o' stories to tell on the subject, unlike ye.  You haven't let a man touch ye in your entire life!"

            "Because I'm waiting for someone fairly decent, unlike you, who picks out a different man basically every night or whenever you have that urge to.  Every man in Tortuga remembers the name 'Devon Duville'." 

            "They should remember it, since they screamed it all night long," Devon commented with a small smirk on her red lips.   

            "Are you a whore?" June asked suddenly with narrowed eyes, "Because you getting all 'friendly' with the men folk doesn't set a good reputation for ye." 

            Suddenly, Devon extracted a dagger from her belt so fast, June didn't have time to react.  About a half inch away from June's hand, the dagger was embedded into the table.  A little closer and June would have been blessed with one hand.  The room grew thick with tension and warning. 

            "Sure, I have a reputation.  Everyone does, dearie.  Mine can be good or bad…all depends on what ye focus on.  But I am no whore.  Never was, never will be.  I pick who I want, I have them, and that's that, savvy?" 

            "Sounds exciting," June said, swallowing hard as she extracted her hand from off of the table and away from the blade, "So how did ye find your place here in the midst of Tortuga?"

            "Had to go here to escape the Navy," she said in a bored tone, picking at her fingernails once again, "I killed me fiancée.  He was a lyin' weasel of a man, so one night I was through with it all and shot the poor bastard." 

            "Sometimes I wonder if ye have a heart," Regan said with a playful smile, nudging Devon with her shoulder.

            "Aw, thanks.  I'll take that as a compliment."

            "And what about you?" June pressed, staring pointedly at Regan, "Someone like ye seems out of place in Tortuga.  No offense, but it's true."  

            "That's kind o' a funny thing to say, considerin' I've lived here all me life…not necessarily in this part o' town…as a child we lived on the outskirts, me and my da, that is." 

            "So I'm assuming this used to be his shop?"

            "Yes.  And when he died, he left everythin' to me to take o'er, includin' leaving me with the knowledge of some of the best traders and informants in the world." 

            "Why not travel?  Ye seem ambitious enough," June replied with a grin, "Ye know, places to go, men to threaten…"

            Devon scoffed, "Hell yes, she loves threatenin' men…I saw her cut the throat out of some bloke one night with a broken rum bottle.  They've all been scared o' her since."

            "Why do ye have it cut out for them in the first place?" June asked with a sudden peak of interest. 

"Have to get respect from the blokes somehow, right?" Regan winked before growing more somber.  The mischievous light faded from her eyes before she added, "Some bastard murdered me close friend one night.  She was a prostitute; a nice gel, really generous and such.  After that, I could never forgive them."

"Who?"

"The idiotic, barbaric men in Tortuga.  I mean, who do they think they are…usin' women so cruelly and takin' their lives without mercy?  For _pleasure_?  Don't they have some sort o' soul hidden anywhere in their disgustin' bodies?" 

"Jack would ne'er do that," June pointed out quietly, "He may be perverse, but that doesn't mean…"

            "I know, I know," Regan laughed bitterly, "Don't try to stick up for him.  I know he's different.  He walks like a gel, but he's a respectable man, all right." 

            "Aw, luv, that hurts, honestly," a deep voice proclaimed behind them. 

            The three women turned to face Jack Sparrow himself lingering in the doorway, leaning against it luxuriously. 

            "I, in fact, don't walk like a gel," Jack said with narrowed eyes, walking up to them.  

            "Sparrow…do ye always interrupt other people's conversations?" Devon questioned icily, shooting him an annoyed look.

            "If it's your conversation to interrupt, than yes, me darling, I do," he proclaimed with a wink, "I missed ye last night." 

            "Go fuck yourself."

            "What language!" he scolded, wagging his finger at her playfully.  Studying Regan, he commented, "Lookin' lovely this mornin', me dear McDowelle.  You're positively glowing."

            "You're too kind," she said flatly, crossing her arms suspiciously, "Now what do ye want?"

            "I came to collect one o' me crew members.  I figured ye'd be hiding her here."  Jack grinned at June before saying, "Are ye ready to come back to the Pearl, me luv?"  He noticed the blood splattered shirt she wore and raised an eyebrow.

            "She got a wonderful tattoo last night," Regan said with a grin, "Why don't ye show him, Oleander?  Don't be shy."

            June shot her a murderous look before replying, "No thank ye.  It isn't in a respectable place." 

            "I like the sound o' that," Jack murmured devilishly, letting his kohl-rimmed eyes rake over her suggestively.

            "Don't worry, we're all girls here," Regan pointed out lazily. 

Jack glared at her before swaggering over to Devon, crouching next to her chair and pressing a lingering kiss to her neck. 

            Pushing him away, she growled, "Not now, Sparrow." 

            "Ah, I know yer type, luv.  Ye like to tease.  Much like Miss Oleander.  She's relentless.  She even tried to rape me once."

            "I did not!" June fumed, "I'll be back on the Pearl in a bit, Sparrow.  For now, can I just talk to the lasses in peace?" 

            "Yes, leave now," Regan snapped.

            "Ditto," Devon yawned, waving him away with her hand.  Bullet barked in agreement. 

            Jack's expression changed to a mockingly hurt one.  "Well, I suppose if ye ladies can't stand me masculine presence one moment longer, I'll leave.  Ta!" and with a dramatic bow, he went as quietly and quickly as he came. 

            "Tried to rape him, did ye?" Devon asked with an interested stare, "Do tell."

            "I did not…I just caught him in bed once, that's all, and he thought I was tryin' to make a move on him in his sleep…" 

            "I wonder how many tattoos that man has," Devon wondered aloud, "I counted two…one on the chest and that one identical to yours…"

            "Don't remind me," June groaned.  Turning to Regan, she said, "Continue on wit' your story since we were so rudely interrupted." 

            "There's not much else to tell."

            "So ye wouldn't like to travel?" June asked with a frown, "That's a pity."

            "No it isn't.  My roots are here.  I'm not a travelin' woman.  Hell, if I leave…me shop will go to hell along with Tortuga and I can't allow that."

            "Ye leavin' today?" Devon questioned after whispering loving words to Bullet, who was still sitting on her lap, his tongue rolling out of his mouth comically.

            "Most likely," June replied with a roll of her eyes, "Jack can't keep in one place for too long.  He's a fidgety man.  Like a small child, he is." 

            "In that case, I think I have somethin' for you…got it a couple months back.  I have no need for it, and Devon doesn't want any part o' it either…" Regan informed her before getting up from the table and sifting through a drawer full of random knick knacks and papers. 

            "What is it?" June questioned suspiciously.

            "Be damned if I know," Regan responded, pulling out a yellowed scroll tied with brown string. 

            "Can she be trusted?" Devon asked Regan, studying June. 

            "Yeah.  She's all right.  She'll take good care o' it for us."  She handed June the paper, who took the string off and rolled it open on the table.  It was a map. 

            "A treasure map, I take it?" June said, noticing the different symbols and landmarks.  It was in Latin. 

            "Do ye speak Latin?" Regan asked her, watching as June ran a finger over the map carefully, "Because I don't understand a damn word o' what it says."   

            "I don't speak a lick o' it, but I understand some o' it in writing.  Picked up a small bit o' it when I was in Greece a couple years back." 

            "So can we trust ye to find it?" Devon said sternly, fingering her dagger tucked away again in her belt. 

            "And split the profits wit' us?" Regan added seriously.

            "Split the profits?  What percentage are we talkin' about here?"

            "An equal share for the three o' us," Devon replied casually, "Just the three o' us.  If Sparrow gets wind of this, he'll claim it for himself, no doubt." 

            "So you're sending me on this wild excursion, with no clue where it leads or what the treasure actually entitles?" June asked incredulously, not believing her own ears.

            "Yeah, that sounds about right.  I mean, we don't have a ship at our disposal, so it's not like we both can pack up and leave in the mornin', savvy?" Regan replied.

            "But I'd have to tell Sparrow.  It's his ship.  I can't just lock him in his room and take over the helm!" June argued, rolling up the map and placing it in her belt.

            "Well…ye could…" Devon mused.

            "I guess you're right," Regan sighed, "But keep it hush-hush, understand?  Don't let Sparrow get a hold of the map and indulge in _all_ of the spoils." 

            "And if he does get a portion o' the treasure…it will be from your portion, not ours," Devon said with narrowed eyes, "Understand?"

            "Yes, I understand," June grumbled.

            "So we have an accord then," Regan remarked, sticking out her hand.

            June took it, and she shook Devon's and Regan's hands firmly.  All the while, excitement and dread was rushing through her veins, but a small voice in the back of her mind whispered that Will and Ana, who were supposed to be heading back to Port Royal, would be mightily pissed off. 

-----------------

            Ah HA!  A map!  In LATIN, no less!  Where and what does the map lead to?  When will Sparrow discover the map AND the tattoo?  What will be Ana and Will's reaction to being 'kept hostage' for this little map voyage?  Only time will tell, me darlings!

Review please!  Comments, (nice) criticism, and concerns are always welcome. 

Review Responses:

Cayenne Pepper Powder- Oh, don't worry, dearie…it's fun to be energetic!  I wish I had so much energy 24/7…its fun when I do because I enjoy dancing spastically.  Here's your update!  : )  Ha, lurve…great word. 

The Dutchess of Doom-  I am so happy you like how I write Devon!  You made the character, and it's up to me to bring her to life, so there is a bit of pressure involved.  Heehee.  And yes, your threats did pay off.  Hope you enjoyed this chapter as well, pal!  Oh boy, watching me with a sharp eye, hmm?  has sudden feeling that she's being watched

I rule you all-  Hey, stop talking about ham, you're making me hungry! 

Leanan Sidhe- Ah yes, don't try to cover up your threatening demeanor in your reviews!  And more _From Hell_ on the way?  Score!  You write Olivia splendidly…I love seeing what you make of her.  Your welcome for the ideas, anytime mate!  We part time pirates have to stick together.  : )

TheSiriusSparrow- Thanks for reading!  Haha, jealousy does make the story all the more interesting…and I think Regan and Devon are just making cameo appearances, and perhaps they may appear again at the end of the story.  They kick butt, as do you, super reviewer!

Bloomylicious-  Seems to me like you hit the nail on the head!  I personally would love to see Jack's reaction when he discovers the blasted tattoo, but that's suspense for ya.  wink  Thank you so much for reviewing!

Goth Princess- Yay!  Thanks for reading and liking it!  hands you a cool reviewer cape of justice 

MorgauseNokami-  Heehee.  Darn Jack Sparrow for those charms he possesses!  shakes fist in the air  Thanks for reviewing, luv!

Belinda-  Oh boy, you'd get a tattoo?  They do seem pretty neat, but I have a deathly fear of needles.  shivers

Jeyke- Hehee, indeed…embarrassment!  Rage!  Such a little Sparrow tattoo that causes so many problems.  Thanks again, luv!

The Lost Guava-  TA DA!  I updated two chapters in one week!  Kazam!  Woosh!  Okay I'll stop now.  That dragon tattoo sounds off the heezy.  Don't worry, I'm in a lazy mood too…I guess that's what summer does to ya!

Anastasia Walker-  Hey!  He's my man whore, WHORE!  Heehee  Katie you are a silly goose.

Zubachickgt4u- Wonderful reviewer, you!  I think you're psychic…you knew it would be Jack's name!  Mwahaha…just use your psychic pirate powers for good instead of evil, okay?  Remember that, luv.  Thanks again!

FIN  (Oh, and to anyone else that reviewed after I posted this, a big hug to you!)


	13. Bad Liar!

Disclaimer: I own nothing from Pirates of the Caribbean. If I did, I would invite all of you over for a PotC party and we could dress up Jack Sparrow in short shorts and gander at his lovely tan legs. Yum!  
  
Wow, I'm watching PotC while writing this and I keep getting sidetracked. Ooh, swordfight scene! Go Jack! "You cheated...pirate!" Mwahahahaha! (ahem) Sorry for the delay, me dears...now without further ado, enjoy chapter 13!  
  
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Jack was a very impatient man. He never liked waiting for anybody, especially not someone like June Oleander...who seemed to like taking her damn time just so she can enjoy seeing his right eye twitch.  
  
He had reappeared in McDowelle's shop fifteen minutes ago to tell her to move her arse along, but so far they were still talking and completely ignoring him standing there. Every once in a while Devon would catch his eye and blow him a kiss or wink at him, just to irritate him further. Finally, his self control broke.  
  
"That's it!" he cried, "Oleander, we're leaving. NOW."  
  
The three women glanced up in mock-surprise and June checked her invisible watch, saying, "Oh, how the time flies!"  
  
"Indeed!" Regan exclaimed sarcastically, eyeing Sparrow in distaste. He was like a little boy throwing a tantrum when he didn't get his way.  
  
"June..." he growled, "...I've noticed you're not movin'."  
  
"Oh, I'm not?" She stared down at herself and said, "Huh! By Jove, you're right!"  
  
"Do ye need help, lass? Did ye lose feelin' in your legs o' are ye just trying to get on me last nerves once again?"  
  
"Hmm...I think the latter," Devon chimed in with interest.  
  
"I suppose Devon's right," June said with a grin, "You know me."  
  
"Fine...ye want to act like that, that's fine." Sparrow stormed over to a suspicious June and with one swoop, picked her up and threw her over his shoulder.  
  
She let out a shout so shrill, Sparrow could have sworn his ear drums quaked.  
  
"Lay off o' the screamin', ye bloody nuisance!" he shouted back, carrying her through the doorway with difficulty as she thrashed in his hold.  
  
"Stupid, barbaric, ugly pirate from HELL!" she cried, clearly enraged as her face flushed a deep red, "I'll cut off your sociables for this, Jack!"  
  
"It's Cap'n Jack, luv," he responded with a grin. He dropped her out in the street. Regan and Devon followed the fighting pirates outside so they could watch the show.  
  
Standing up angrily, she stared menacingly at a chuckling Jack. Of course, Jack stopped chuckling once he felt saliva hit his face and trickle down his cheek.  
  
She spit on him! That mangy hellcat spit on him! He made an attempt to grab her but she broke off into a dead run. He sighed, watching June looking over her shoulder, shouting her hurried goodbyes and waving to Devon and Regan as she sprinted off and out of their sights.  
  
Wiping the spit off of his face with his sleeve and trying to regain the last bit of his dignity, he said, "Well, me lovely ladies, I fear I must bid ye farewell for now."  
  
Regan crossed her arms, rolled her eyes a bit before saying, "You mean you are expecting to cross paths with us again, Captain Sparrow?"  
  
"I wouldn't doubt it for a second, me luv," he answered, eyes twinkling. His grin widened when he noticed Devon slowly sauntering up to him and ran a finger across his shoulders before saying softly, "Do I get a goodbye treat?"  
  
"Well, I was expectin' to take the chivalrous and mysterious exit, ye know, vanishin' without a trace as to make ye gels pine over me absence, but I suppose a fair goodbye will do." And with that, Devon hoisted him to her by grabbing the front of his coat and mouths molded together with intense heat.  
  
"I'm goin' inside," Regan muttered, "Ta!" Grumbling to herself about the indecencies of public intimacy, she stomped into her shop, immediately occupying herself by studying her ledgers.  
  
June had better come back with their portion of the plunder. Because if she didn't, there would be hell to pay.  
  
Regan wasn't one to be messed with. After all her years of experience of being brought up and raised in Tortuga, she learned that she had to grab opportunity and show it who's boss or be walked all over. It had taken Regan her entire childhood to grow some sort of backbone. Now, she seemed to have the strongest backbone in the Caribbean. Only the foolish or the courageous dare provoke her.  
  
Jack and June had been two of the few that dared to dream. Regan preferred to categorize them under the 'fools'. Sure, she figured the two pirates were brave at heart, but they also had that silly aura surrounding them. Life was a game and they were the top players.  
  
Devon sauntered in, looking particularly pleased with herself as she sank down into a chair and watched Regan fiddle with her papers. Regan finally glanced up, sighing as she asked, "Have a nice chat?"  
  
Duville's grin grew even more wicked, if that was even possible. Her eyes seemed to slant upwards, her mouth formed in the slyest of smiles. Her lips were swollen from, well, obvious kissing. And her face was flushed a deep red. Not many men caused such a reaction to flare to life in the calm and in-control Devon Duville.  
  
"Chat? Of course, yes, definitely," she answered and pulled down the sleeve of her plain black shirt. And there, located on the tanned flesh of her shoulder blade, was a glistening set of teeth marks, freshly created.  
  
Regan snorted and went back to studying her ledgers. "I'm loosin' business," she said aloud, "Perhaps you're bad luck. Get out o' here, Devon, before I'm forced to live in the ditch and eat rats from me failin' business."  
  
Devon chuckled and began chewing her fingernails before mumbling, "June will come back with a hefty fortune. Just ye wait and see, dearie. Then there will be no more worries about livin' in ditches o' eatin' raw rats."  
  
"I suppose you're right." Glancing out the dirty window, Regan realized it had started to rain. Water droplets softly began to patter against the roof and windows. Black clouds were rolling in mercilessly. The sky rumbled in warning.  
  
Regan added softly, "Our luck's goin' to change."  
  
"We'll start over. Perhaps sail the world on our own ship, aye? What do ye think o' that?"  
  
Regan closed her ledger gently and smiled. "That doesn't sound like such a bad idea. Not a bad idea at all."  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
June quickly crept through the steady downpour, ignoring the rain that was soaking her to the bone. Her hair fell in a mess of tangles around her face, dripping water droplets down the front of her coat. She had the map stuffed in the front of her coat where it wouldn't become damaged. Later, when she had time to herself, she would read what it said. Now wasn't the time. Even as it rained, the streets were still bustling with traveling nomads and wandering up-to-no-gooders. Just like herself.  
  
Her boots splashed through muddy puddles as she trekked through town. Suddenly, she was knocked to her ass by some drunken slob who pushed past her in a hurry to get home, or wherever the hell he was heading.  
  
"Stupid barbarian!" she shouted at him. He grunted in response, not even turning to help her up from the mud puddle she found herself planted in. The sky was black and Tortuga seemed dark and foreboding instead of jovial and exciting.  
  
A hand was held out in front of her and she glanced up to find Jack Sparrow staring back at her, flashing his gold teeth in an amused smile. "Need a lift, me lady?" he asked with a wink.  
  
She grabbed his hand with her muddy one and he hoisted her to her feet.  
  
"Thanks," she muttered, wiping off the front of her muddy breeches. It didn't help much.  
  
"Looks like ye got in a fight with a puddle and lost," he informed her.  
  
"Thank ye, Captain Obvious," she retaliated. Without thinking, she opened up her coat and checked the map, peering at the pocket it was sticking out of. Jack caught a glimpse of it and his eyes widened. A map? That ruddy lil' bitch! Keepin' a map in her possession and not even tellin' me about it!  
  
She closed her coat and stared suspiciously at Jack, who resumed his normal, flamboyant expression so she would think he didn't see anything. June trudged on and he followed, sashaying after her and fighting to keep up. The Black Pearl was waiting.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
June sat cross-legged on her cot, listening to the steady clanging of swords as she looked over her map. Will was teaching Ana how to sword- fight, and by the sounds of things, she was sort of getting the hang of it.  
  
Barcelona. The map was to Barcelona, Spain. June could only make out some of the words. Why was the map in Latin but it led you to Spain? It was confusing the Hell out of Oleander, but she guessed it just added to the mysteriousness of things. She hadn't noticed it before, but this was only half of a map. How big was the fucking map supposed to be? She ran a finger down the rough, uneven edges of the faded parchment and along the ink drawings of Spain and Europe. Barcelona was marked with an X.  
  
She smirked. Weren't there X's on all of the good treasure maps? If this was some sort of hoax, she would personally go back there and rip Regan's and Devon's throats out.  
  
The door slammed open and Jack stood in the doorway, watching as she scrambled to shove the map in the back of her breeches.  
  
"Don't ye knock?!" she asked in exasperation, "I was busy!"  
  
"Ah." He narrowed his eyes at her and began to pace around the room slowly.  
  
"Jack..." she said after a couple of moments, "I was thinkin'...after we drop off Ana and the Turner lad...would ye be so kind as to drop me off somewhere?"  
  
"Where, exactly?" Jack questioned flatly.  
  
"Barcelona," she mumbled, "I...I have relatives there!"  
  
"Oh, do ye? Who, might I ask?" Jack crossed his arms, awaiting a damn good answer.  
  
"Ye know...uncles, aunts, cousins...that whole bit..."  
  
"You're lyin'. You're not a very good liar, Oleander."  
  
"So what if I am? It's none of your damn business," she snapped, glaring at him.  
  
"It is my business if I'm taking a detour halfway across the world for your benefit."  
  
"Why don't ye just piss off, Cap..."  
  
He interrupted, "I know ye have a map."  
  
She jumped off of the cot and cried, "That's absurd! Where would I have gotten a map from?"  
  
He took a step towards her and suddenly ran his palms along her hips. They went to the back of her breeches and she slapped his hands. He almost snatched the map from her. He knew.  
  
Jack grinned and whispered, "I know it's there, luv. And I have...ways...o' getting the information I want." She raised her eyebrows as Jack ran his lips across her pulsing throat and added huskily, "Savvy?"  
  
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Oh my! Review! 


	14. And don't forget to parry!

Disclaimer: Me no own! Gah.

Author's Note: I'm BACCKKKKK! Twice the action! Twice the entertaining banter! Twice the…twice the rum! Well, there isn't rum in this chapter but if it had rum in it, there would be caboodles of it. I realized I updated this at the beginning of July and sorry for the extended delay. Ever seen Ferris Bueller's Day Off? That is a very irrevelant question, but it's on the television. And it's delightful. Okay, okay, without further ado, go read!

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-Jack grinned and whispered, "I know it's there, luv. And I have…ways…o' getting the information I want." She raised her eyebrows as Jack ran his lips across her pulsing throat and added huskily, "Savvy?"-

June smiled, saying, "Whatever do ye mean, Captain Sparrow? Going to do me laundry? Give me a neck massage?"

He sighed in frustration and said impatiently, "You know damned well what I meant."

"Enlighten me," she replied impishly, waiting for his response.

"I…am willin'…to sleep wit' ye for the map," Jack said through clenched teeth, "So do we have an accord?"

She could tell he really didn't want to do this. His left eye was twitching like mad and it seemed like he winced every time he came in contact with her skin.

"Do ye really think I'm that desperate?" she questioned with a pouty frown, "Oh Jack, how you amuse me so."

"Dammit, ye lil' wretch!" he cried, pushing her away.

"When I want ye to bed me," she said while wiggling her eyebrows, "I'll let ye know."

"Oh really?" He narrowed his kohl-rimmed eyes at her, "By all means, ye just lost your chance to be wit' me, darlin'."

"I don't think so."

"Christ, what do ye mean by tha'?"

"Trust me, soon you'll be pantin' passionately just for me to touch ye and it will all be over after that, savvy?"

"Arrogant whore."

"Egotistical moron!"

"Selfish wench!"

"Flamboyant pansy!"

"Bitch!"

"Annoyin' prick!"

Silence surrounded them. She grabbed him by the front of his coat and pressed her lips roughly onto his. Jack was lost. So lost in fact, he forgot to retrieve the map from the back of her breeches as he concentrated on her tongue in his mouth, on how he was pressing her to him so harshly that they both could barely breathe. Their lips toyed with each other, biting, teasing. When he finally yanked her off of him, he said breathlessly, "What the hell are ye playin' at? I thought ye didn't want me!"

"I'm sorry," she shrugged, "It's just that this stupid banter makes me want to contradict meself."

"Give me the map," he demanded.

"No."

Cursing, he stomped out of her room in a violent frenzy, slamming his fist into the wall on his way out. June smiled when she heard the echoed 'ow dammit, ow!'s coming from the hallway.

"It will only be a matter o' time, dear Captain…" she said in satisfaction, resting on her cot, hands behind her head, "…just ye wait and see."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"This is a bunch of codswallop," Anastasia grumbled, holding her sword at an acceptable angle to Will's. They were going to duel…and it wasn't going to be pretty.

William laughed as he paused amidst his stance to correct hers, nudging her feet the proper length apart with his black boots. "It isn't going to be that awful, Anastasia. You have been a wonderful student. Very perceptive and eager to learn…"

"That's a bunch of codswallop also," she grinned, waving her hand in front of her sweaty face, trying to fight off the humid air, "I've been the worst fencer known to mankind. The rules of engagement seem like an ancient language to me. I bet at the end of the rules there's something that goes a little like 'Anyone herewith by the name of Anastasia Walker should not participate in the craft of swordsmanship.'"

"Perhaps you just need a while longer to get the hang of it," Will pointed out, tying up his long hair as he spoke, "All beginners need time to get the feel of a sword."

"Coming from a champion fencer," she retorted, eyeing him with distaste, "Let's just get this over and done with."

"We've dueled before," Will said, trying to bite back an amused smile, "What's so different about this time?"

"This time I'm not covered in padding and you're not going to take it easy on me!" she said with a shake of her head, then warned, "You better not take it easy on me, or I swear I'll…"

"Good, this is good. Keep that anger…transform it into energy, put it into your moves," Will replied, tongue-in-cheek.

"Come on, I don't have all day," Ana snorted with a roll of her eyes, "I feel myself getting older just listening to you."

The invincible Will Turner got into position, his blade softly touching hers, a superior smirk stretching across his face.

"En guarde!" she shouted maniacally.

Will chuckled at this, which caused her cheeks to redden.

"What? Not en guarde?" Ana asked with a scratch of her head.

"First thing's first…try not to make yourself sound like an idiot in front of your opponent. Sure, I may be the master of the sword, but Jack is the master of the quips."

"Why, Will!" she gasped, "It seems as if your ego is suffocating me!" and promptly grabbed at her own neck, choking and wheezing mockingly.

"All right, fine. Let's begin, shall we?" Will said with a bemused expression.

Their eyes met, flashing with excitement, and Anastasia took the first move, thrusting to her left. Will dodged it expertly before circling her like she was his prey. She watched him like a hawk, awaiting any sudden movements.

Suddenly, he attacked. The blade was everywhere at once and the only way to stay on her feet was to parry all of his blows, deflecting them feebly with her tarnished sword. He backed her into the outer wall of Jack's cabin as she stared, openmouthed.

"Give up?" he asked with a grin.

"This is something I learned from a good friend of mine," she said sweetly and promptly punched him in the gut, knocking the wind out of him, making him bend over in shocked pain.

"Holy hell…" he gasped.

Ana wrenched his sword from his grasp and pointed both his and hers next to his throat. "Give up?" she questioned cheekily.

"You ignored the rules of engagement," he said flatly, frustration and annoyance lacing his tone.

"You were acting all hoity toity, William, and I just couldn't have that," she responded with an innocent shrug, "But if you want to cry about it, fine. Here." And she dropped his weapon on the deck, it clattering in front of him.

"Did the gel beat ye, eunuch?" Jack called from the helm, waving at the both of them.

"She did _not_," Will answered with an agitated frown, "She ignored the rules of engagement!"

"Don't worry, lass!" Jack called to Ana, "In me opinion, you beat him fair and square. It's just that he's always had a stick shoved up his arse about the rules of engagement. Got to respect 'em and all that. I wouldn't take his whinin' to heart, Anastasia, me darling."

"I am not whining," Will argued through clenched teeth, throwing his hands up in the air, "It's not my problem I'm stuck on a ship full of cheaters."

Jack curled a dread around his finger, beginning to hum to himself, forgetting he was ever engaged in an actual conversation as he drifted off into space.

"Well, shall we try again, Mister Turner?" Ana asked politely, winking at him.

"Yes, let's…" he replied with narrowed eyes, picking up his sword and instantly jabbing it her way. She fell on her bum in her desperate attempt to dodge it, letting out an 'ompf!' of surprise.

"Let's play it your way, Anastasia," he said with an evil smile, "No rules."

Anastasia didn't like the sound of that. She knew if she didn't forfeit, she was going to come out of this duel missing fingers or her nose. She had won the battle, but William was most certainly going to win the war.

Thinking of this, she lost concentration and forgot to parry, allowing Will to slice a clean cut on her right arm, from her shoulder to her elbow. She instantly dropped her sword and gritted her teeth, holding the wound and glaring at him.

Will's frustration and slight anger vanished, his eyes suddenly soft as he dropped his own weapon and reached out for her arm. She sighed as he took it, examined it closely, and said quietly, "I'm sorry, Anastasia. I never meant to draw blood. This was a duel for teaching purposes only. I guess I got a little carried away."

"A little?" she snorted, "Define 'a little', Will."

"Let's clean this up," he suggested, raising his eyebrows, "Do you forgive me?"

Ana sighed again, cringing. Dammit, she could never stay mad at Turner, no matter how hard she tried to look it. She nodded and he smiled gratefully, taking her hand and placing a chaste kiss on her knuckles. It sent a shiver straight up her spine. Fortunately he didn't notice her shudder.

"Come on, I think there is some salve downstairs," Will said after a moment of silence. With an inner groan, Ana allowed herself to be led downstairs by the infuriatingly cocky William Turner, silently hating his gallant demeanor. And what she hated most of all was that she loved him for it, too.

"I think there is some salve downstairs?" June scoffed, "That is the worst line in the history of the world. Ever. That is the _worst_ way to get some."

Jack moaned, silently wishing he could just pound his head against the mast she was leaning against and knock himself unconscious just to drown out her incessant rambling.

"Ye know what? I suppose it's the _second _worst way to get some," June commented thoughtfully, tapping her chin with her index finger.

"Oh?" Jack asked, massaging his temple, "What's the first?"

"I think the first worst line in history used to get some is 'I'm willing to sleep wit' ye for the map'."

"June?"

"Yes, Jack?"

"Bugger off."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I say: "Give me an R!" R! "Give me an E!" E! "Give me a V!" V! "Give me an I!" I! "Give me another E!" E! "Give me a W!" W! What does that spell? No Jack, it doesn't spell eunuch. REVIEW!


	15. Patience is a Virtue!

Disclaimer: I do not own Pirates of the Caribbean, and with my psychic abilities I conclude that neither do you. (le sigh) It's a cruel, cruel world.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Anastasia, I am truly sorry. I had gotten carried away and…"

"William, I've been listening to you blather on with apologies for the last ten minutes or so. Any more apologizing and I will have to punch you just to get you to keep quiet."

Will sighed as he wrapped the cloth along her arm slowly, tying it in a little knot at the end, and suddenly old memories swarmed into his head…memories he would rather not remember…

_"What kind of man would give his life for a ship?" Elizabeth asked huffily, wrapping her hand with frustrated, jerky movements. _

_"A pirate," Will answered, "Here…let me." He took her hand and she mumbled her thanks, wishing she had never gotten them in this mess in the first place. And it had all started with one measly coin. _

_"You gave them my name as yours…why?" Will questioned, raising his innocent brown eyes to hers, waiting silently for an answer. _

_"I don't know," she shrugged with a particularly perplexed smile. Her breath caught as his fingers rubbed across the wound and pulled her hand out of his grasp. _

_"I'm sorry…blacksmith's hands. I know they're rough," Will apologized, taking her hand again more carefully, gently caressing._

_"No…I mean…yes, they're rough, but…don't stop…" _

Will glanced up into Ana's eyes, knowing she had noticed a change in his mood.

"Thinking about her, I presume?" she asked with raised eyebrows.

"And why do you think that?" he asked back, motioning for her to move her arm and see if the bandages were too tight.

She did so, rolling her shoulder as she replied, "You get this far-off, glazed stare. And you have this sadness about your eyes. You shouldn't have to look like that, Will. The past is the past."

Will smiled and leaned back in his chair, running a hand across his face. "You of all people have been the only one who has tried to give me advice, despite my protests, and has actually made me feel the slightest bit better."

Anastasia didn't know what to say to that. A thank you? An I-told-you-so? She stuck with silence instead.

"You have helped me in more ways than you know. Do you care that much, Anastasia? Even after all that I've put you through?"

Still silent.

He grinned, recalling one of his favorite memories: "I remember sitting in the tavern during my birthday after Elizabeth's death…and you setting that little cake in front of me and making the whole tavern sing to me."

"Why not celebrate in style?" she asked with a wink. Suddenly, she froze when she felt his hand skim down her bandaged arm thoughtfully. Glancing up, her eyes widened when she found that smile wiped off of his face and he was staring intently upon her.

She opened her mouth to say something but he pressed a few fingers to her lips, shushing her, and ran a finger down the side of her face. Before she could stop herself, she began to lean into him, eyes fluttering closed.

Then the door burst open.

"You all right, Ana, me dear?" June asked, completely oblivious to the tension that had been produced moments before, "Did this brute hurt ye?"

They had jumped apart so fast, the table next to them had rattled ominously.

_Christ, I'm going to tear her limb from limb…_ "You sure have a way of entering conversations that you were not involved in previously," Ana growled.

"What can I say?" June asked with a shrug. She picked up an apple, polished it on her sleeve, and took a bite. "I was getting a grumbling stomach so I decided I needed a lil' snack. Sorry to interrupt…whatever I was interruptin'."

"No, it's completely fine, June," Will said hastily, standing up, "I best be getting above to see if they need me." And then he fled.

"Dammit, June!" Ana cried, looking ready to strangle her, "I was this close, _this _close to kissing him!"

"Kissing who?" June blinked.

"Are you bloody drunk?"

"I wouldn't be surprised if I was, darling."

"I almost kissed…" her voice fell barely above a whisper, "Mister Turner! For goodness sakes…who else is there on this ship that I'd want to kiss?"

"Mr. Gibbs is a handsome man," June pointed out with a foolish grin, "Perhaps you've had your eye on him for quite some time and haven't told me about your dirty lil' fantasies."

"June, am I lettin' ye stay on this ship to eat everythin' on board?" Jack said in exasperation from behind.

She turned, seeing Jack and a very flustered Mr. Gibbs standing in the doorway. Apparently he had heard her talking about him.

"Hello Jack…Mr. Gibbs." At the word Gibbs, she winked at him lewdly, pursing her lips and blowing him a kiss.

"Oh Jesus," Jack groaned, rolling his eyes heavenward.

"I…erm…hello Miss Oleander," Gibbs stammered, looking utterly frightened. He shuffled his feet uncomfortably.

June met Jack's glare and sighed, "Oh all right. Fine. I'll be above if anyone needs me." She bent over, opened one of the pockets in Jack's trousers, and placed her half-eaten apple in it. Then she turned and pressed a loud, sloppy kiss to Gibbs's cheek before making her way up the stairs, singing to herself:

_The captain of that lugger  
  
_

_He was a dirty bugger  
  
_

_He wasn't fit to shovel shit  
  
_

_From one place to another._

Ana winced at the foul language coming from her odd friend's mouth. Jack looked positively irritated, and Gibbs was still red in the face as June hollered at the top of her lungs while climbing the last of the stairs…

_Frigging in the rigging  
  
_

_Frigging in the rigging  
  
_

_Frigging in the rigging  
  
_

_There was fuck-all else to do!_

"If somehow that song's directed at me, I'm goin' to flog her personally," Jack said with a shake of her head. Then he frowned. _Wait…I already did that…and it resulted in rather interesting consequences. _

"That woman is bad luck," Mr. Gibbs said angrily, "Ye don't understand, Jack…I've been tryin' to get along wit' her, but she keeps pattin' me bum when she walks by or is blowin' me kisses. It's scarin' the hell out o' me."

"Let's maroon her," Jack suggested, tapping a finger to his chin thoughtfully.

"As much as I'd like to agree, Captain, it wouldn't be right wit' the code and all…" Gibbs grumbled, "The men who made the code would be writhin' in their graves and such…"

"O' course I bet those fine souls would be willin' to make an exception for a hellcat like Oleander."

"Patience," Anastasia said to them, "It takes patience."

"We ran out o' that a long time ago," Jack pointed out, rubbing his temple.

"Jack, it seems to me you have all the patience in the world," she responded lightly, clutching her aching arm, "For the way you talk of her, she would have been dead a long time ago." With that, Ana stood up and made her way above as well.

Jack glared up the stairs after her, not liking how she had put it that way. Was Jack Sparrow…

…turning soft?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

June murmured, tossing and turning on her cot. Faintly, she heard whispering through the haziness of sleep and bolted upright in bed, making a grab for the map tucked in her shirt. It was safe. Letting out a sigh of relief, she turned and almost cried out in fright when she came face to face with Ana.

"What the hell are you doing, you crazy chit?!" June growled, rubbing her eyes slowly, "You scared the livin' daylights out o' me!"

"Jack says we are taking an unexpected detour."

"Ugh…" June groaned, "What time is it?"

"Six in the morning."

Detour? _Oh no. He hadn't figured out where the map led to, did he? How could he? Well, Jack Sparrow always had his ways…_

"Where are we headin'?" June asked frantically.

"His house. We should be landing there by nightfall."

Any evidence of sleep vanished from June's expression. _His house? _

_- - - - - - - - - - - - - _

Captain Jack Sparrow has a house? Oh boy! Review please and I shall forever be grateful. : )

Oh, and that song June sang is an actual shanty called "Frigging in the Rigging". When I saw the lyrics, I was like "Yup. Something June would sing."


	16. FrustrationGah!

Disclaimer: Me no own, you no sue. Savvy?

* * *

"Wait a damn moment," June growled, rubbing the sleep from her eyes, "What do ye mean, Captain Jack Sparrow's _house_? As in house, ye mean…"

"Humble abode? Luxurious living space? Why yes, I do believe that is what he meant," Anastasia replied smartly.

"You're tellin' me that Jack, Jack _Sparrow_, can live on land?" June said incredulously, "Well, this is news to me."

"Couldn't help but overhear your conversation, ladies," a gruff voice said hesitantly in the doorway. June glanced up, focusing on Mr. Gibbs.

"Aw, come to tuck me in?" she winked, "I hope there's a goodnight kiss involved. All me dreams will revolve around you if I'm lucky."

Gibbs's fingers twitched in a silent urge to do a sign of the Cross but fought against it and won. Instead, he scratched his graying sideburns in irritation. "Jack's an interestin' man. I've known him since he was a lil' lad and I still haven't gotten all of him figured out."

"That makes two of us," June muttered to herself. Of course, Ana picked up on this soft comment immediately and grinned.

"Tell us about this house, Gibbs," Ana said excitedly, "Is it…"

"…a pig-sty?" June yawned the interruption.

"I'll let ye both see for yourselves," he said with a secretive smile, "Only been there a couple o' times meself…Captain takes us there every once and a while for a break." He shook his head, indulging himself in the memories before saying, "It's getting late. I'll see ye both up bright and early tomorrow."

"I guess I'm not getting lucky tonight, then," June pouted at him, twirling a piece of her knotty hair on her finger, "Leaving so soon?"

He arched a bushy eyebrow at her, saying in exasperation, "I'm _this _close to throwing you overboard…or leavin' you on some deserted island where no one has to put up with your annoyin' presence."

"That hurts," she said, lip trembling, eyes full of self-pity, "You know where that hurts?" She pointed to her chest, right at her beating heart. "Right here."

"G'night!" Gibbs all but shouted, slamming the door after him.

"Men," June sighed.

* * *

"I expect June and Ana know o' our plans?" Jack asked, leaning against the helm and facing his flustered first mate as he returned.

"Yes," Gibbs grumbled, "June is harassin' me again."

Jack grinned, turning his gaze up towards the clear heavens, "Ye can't handle one psychotic gel?"

Gibbs stared at him blankly. "Ha! Gel? She's anythin' but. Surely you know that."

Hell, did Jack ever. Girls were innocents. Now women were an entirely different story. You had your proper ladies that put their napkins on their laps and acted virginal. Then you had those who would stick their tongue down your throat to distract you as they stole your coin purse. Was it possible June could be both at times? Hell, he didn't know. His eyes drifted to his scuffed boots as he squirmed, thinking of how she had kissed him with reckless abandon, teasing him, urging him on until he couldn't possibly say no…

"Jack?"

He snapped out of it quickly. "What? What is it?"

"Have ye been takin' her to bed?"

Jack blinked a few times before his calm expression transformed into one of pure horror. "Are ye kiddin' me, mate? I would rather slice me own goods off and feed 'em to the fishes." He suddenly narrowed his dark, stormy eyes, adding roughly, "Why would ye ask such a thing?"

"The way she acts around ye, Captain. Edgy. Erm, sensual. I can't explain it…"

"She enjoys teasin' me, Gibbs, nothin' more," he said through clenched teeth, "Ye know how women are. If at first they don't succeed and all that nonsense."

"Aye, Captain." Gibbs said hesitantly, "Ye know ye can tell me if you are, Jack. I won't tell a soul, I won't."

Jack's eyes bulged out of his forehead, giving him a comical experience as his mouth gaped wordlessly. His fingers flew around his head with jerky, feminine movements as he cried, "What the hell did I just say?! N-o. No! I'm not!"

With that, he stormed off into his cabin, slamming the door after him in an agitated huff. Why would Gibbs really think he would be getting 'intimate' with the likes of June Oleander?

He growled in disgust, sinking into the large chair behind his desk. He placed his boots on the table and sat there for a minute or two before growing frustrated and kicking a book off with one furious swing of his foot. It went flying and landed on the floor with a thud.

Jack couldn't explain what was happening to him. Was he really acting that differently around the likes of June? He despised her, loathed her with a passion that made every muscle in his body contract with barely contained rage.

_Why did everyone think he felt otherwise? He didn't, dammit. He would rather die than give in to her teasing. _

"Ahem."

Jack looked up, his eyes ablaze as they fell on a cocky June standing in the doorway.

"Land is sighted, good sir," she said with a smirk, majestically bowing before him, "I thought you'd want to know. How about a kiss to celebrate?"

"Get out!" he shouted, "Did I tell ye you could enter?! Get the hell out!" And he threw another book from his desk straight at her head. Her eyes widened and she bolted before it could hit her, leaving the door gaping open and his crew staring curiously inside.

_What was happening to him? _

* * *

June whistled cheerfully, pausing amidst her rowing to tuck the escaping wisps of hair back into her unruly bun. Ana sat on the other side of the boat, staring at her oddly.

"What was that horrible yelling about upstairs?" Ana questioned.

June glanced in her direction and then back out to sea again. "It's none o' your concern, darling. Just leave it to me."

"I think it is my concern. You are my friend, after all."

June, tan arms flexing as she worked the oars, grinned, replying, "Jack is frustrated…" she paused before adding slyly, "…_sexually _frustrated."

Ana's cheeks turned a pinkish tinge as she stared at the bottom of the boat. "Oh?"

"He's fighting his desire for me," June sighed dramatically, "It's drivin' him mad."

Suddenly, their rowboat wobbled as another hit them in the rear.

June was scowling and Ana turned, afraid of what she would see next.

Jack was shooting her a venomous glare and Will was staring at them both apologetically.

"Why don't ye watch where you're going, Jack!" June yelled, "Are ye blind, ye rottin' sack of manure?!"

"Well how about ye stop spreadin' damn lies about me, Oleander?" Jack yelled back, rowing a bit more so the boats bumped together again, causing whiplash.

"Retarded monkey," June muttered.

"Stupid hag," Sparrow grumbled before maneuvering his and Will's boat past theirs with lightning speed. June stuck her tongue out at them as they drifted by.

"I'm glad you're handling this in a very mature matter," Anastasia commented dryly.

"What can I say?" June shrugged, "Mature's my middle name."

A/N: It felt so good to write again. How I've missed it. I hope you swabs liked it. Drop me a review! (winkity winkity)


	17. Sparrow's Casa

June jumped legs first into the choppy, bone-chilling waters, grabbing the rope of their rowboat and pulling it ashore as Ana stared at the awaiting island curiously.

The water was barely above June's waist as she trudged through the rough sand, her clothes weighing her down. _I hope this is a good idea_, she thought with clenched teeth, gazing at the vast forest in front of them.

She expected Jack's unknown tropical island to be a paradise; full of swaying palm trees, fine, smooth sands, and alcohol. Lots and lots of alcohol. Instead, she could only grimace at the cards that were dealt her way.

Who did Sparrow think he was, anywho? King Jack of the Jungle? Pshhh.

There was about ten feet of gritty sand that they walked, crunching over dried out shells before they hit 100% forest. The shrubbery was so dense, Anastasia couldn't help but cringe as she looked into the blackness and found yellow beady eyes glaring back at her.

"Is it…safe to go in there?" Ana asked cautiously, her hands at her hips.

"Where the hell are we?" June snorted, "I thought this was supposed to be fun. I wanted to spend me day drinkin' and runnin' around the beach, not cutting me way through the jungle like a savage!"

Jack grinned and said, "It won't be hard, me dove. You already are a savage. A masculine one at that."

She kicked him in the shin.

Hobbling, Jack said with a mask of pain on his face, "We'll just follow the path!"

"_What _path?" Will questioned, arching an eyebrow at him, waiting for an explanation.

"Have I ever given you a reason not to trust me?" Jack asked with a pleading expression. Will almost looked like he wanted to ramble off a list of reasons, but decided against it. Jack swaggered over to the right and pointed his sword at a small opening between the trees. "Here! I found it! Satisfied?"

"Nay. This is a stupid idea," June said in a bored tone, "Who knows what could be creepy-crawlin' in there as we speak?"

"Creepy crawling?" Ana squeaked with dread.

"Don't worry!" Jack said with a wave of his animated hands, "If something moves, just stab it. Problem solved!"

"Oh dear…" Anastasia groaned, holding her face in her hands.

Jack's attention was suddenly riveted on the paper sticking out of the front of June's breeches. It was the map. Again. Was she purposefully leaving it there in full view just to tease him? He didn't doubt it for one damn second.

"I think Jack should lead the way since he's so intent on killin' us all," June commented dryly.

"Would ye stop your nagging?" Jack growled, "You're acting just like me mum, rest her soul."

"Oh, trust me," June said, eyes twinkling, "I am definitely not your mum. If your mum had the same intentions I do, you must have had one twisted little family."

Jack heard the blood rushing in his ears and he turned rigidly on his heel, pretending to ignore her as he slashed through some wild vines and headed into the darkness.

"Can this get any worse?" Anastasia asked herself with a roll of her eyes.

Lightning sounded and rain began to beat down on them all.

"I stand corrected," Ana added.

* * *

Fifteen minutes had lazily slipped by as Jack led the crew through the thick shrubbery. June, in the past ten, had been gently taking her index finger and swiping it along the exposed line of his tanned neck. He would bat at it, thinking it were a mosquito, muttering curses.

Rain dripped off his hat and the mud was sucking at their shoes. Bullfrogs hummed in their deep voices. A twig snapped nearby and Ana tensed, scared out of her wits.

"There's nothing to be afraid of," Will said with a smile from behind her, seeing her back hunch and her eyes dart around skittishly.

"I'm not afraid," Ana snorted stubbornly.

June bit her lip, holding back her giddy laughter as she held her finger up near Jack's neck again, about to make her move when he whirled around and caught her wrist in a vice-like grip.

They stared at each other, Jack's eyes threatening and June's ones of shock. She didn't know what to say.

"Would ye desist?!" he demanded in a low voice.

She nodded and he pushed her hand away from him, turning once again and continuing to make his way through the uneven path.

"Are we close?" Gibbs asked.

"Aye," Jack called over his shoulder, "Won't be long now." He stopped in front of some overgrown brush and smiled. "Won't be long a'tall." And he took his sword and chopped it out of his way.

When he was done, he stood there proudly. The rest of the crew gathered around him, staring at the structure sitting before them all.

"Pig-sty, my ass," June breathed.

She had expected some half built shack in the middle of no where. Of course, she had gotten the no-where part correct. But standing before her could only be described as a mansion.

Tall cream marble pillars held up the towering roof. Marble steps led to the oak door and a porch. Big glass windows surrounded the dwelling, overlooking the tiny meadow surrounding it. Of course the meadow had become a little unruly since the house had been uninhabited for quite some time.

It reminded her a bit of the Swann mansion. Pure elegance.

There was something erotic about it, too. Vines had crept along the pillars and walls, covering it with tiny roadways of flowers. A small pond overgrown with water plants sat at the edge of the steps. Fish were swimming lazily, skimming the surface.

On the porch was a simple wooden bench, a few cobwebs adorning it.

"Welcome to the Sparrow household, ladies and gentlemen," Jack said dramatically, sweeping a hand in front of him, "Where men get lucky and women luckier."

Ana narrowed her eyes at him, not appreciating his foul mouth as he winked in her direction.

The sky was dark and ominous. Thunder rumbled, reverberating through them all. Jack took a rusty key from his pocket as they all walked up the steps, anxious to get out of the pouring rain. He jammed it in the lock, jiggled the doorknob a bit, and it swung open.

An oriental rug covered the grey tiled floor and a staircase was located to the left. A large mirror was against the wall to the right, outlined in jewels.

"Jack…is this where you keep all your treasures?" Ana asked, looking up at the old chandelier hanging from the ceiling.

He beamed proudly. "Every last one o' them, luv. See, I had all this furniture and belongings that I had looted from me trips all around the world, and I said to myself… 'Jack, why not build somethin' to put them in?' So I did!"

"You didn't do this yourself, did you?" Will questioned with a frown.

"Hell no, boy. I'm Captain Jack Sparrow, not a bloody architect." His lips twisted into an evil grin before adding, "It's a funny story, really. Involves a prostitute and takin' one of the governor's architects hostage. I'll tell it to ye sometime."

"Oh dear Lord," Will groaned.

"And which governor would this be?" June asked, clearly intrigued.

"Kettle Bay," Jack said with a nod, "But as I said, a tale for another time. Now where were we? Ah, yes. C'mon, ye swabs! Let's find the rum! Drink up me 'earties!"

"Is that all you ever think about?" Ana questioned with a sigh.

* * *

The men had made themselves comfortable in the living room, which held a fireplace and lovely antique furniture. Each were nursing their own bottle of rum they had attained from the luxurious basement, which held an assortment of stolen wines, whiskeys, and rums. Their boots were off and they were stretched out on the floor or on the settees. Jack was sitting in the middle of them and was engrossed in telling a story, as usual.

"So I said to the bugger that he needed to let his balls drop and to fight like a man!" He smiled as his crew roared with laughter. He squinted his eyes as he added, "Now who wants the 5 shilling tour?"

"I've already seen it!" Gibbs said with a wave of his hand. This brought on a chorus of agreements.

He stared at Will and Ana, who shook their heads sheepishly. "Perhaps later, Jack?"

Jack's gaze finally rested on June, who had her hand raised like an obedient pupil.

Jack, not wanting to pass the chance up to gloat and brag about how much he had, especially to Oleander, grumbled, "All right. C'mon, June. We'll start upstairs."

She hopped off of her chair and sighed, "That's what all men say."

He fought the urge to strangle her and shrugged off his coat and hat before motioning for her to follow him upstairs. He led her into the nearest room, saying, "Here is the music room."

A grand piano sat in the center of the room on the wood floor. The large glass windows were slowly being splattered with rain drops. Lightning flashed and their shadows illuminated off of the walls.

"Jack…" her lips twitched, forming a small grin, "You don't play piano."

"Who said I didn't?" He scratched the side of his nose before saying, "All right, I admit it, I don't. But it's on my to-do list to learn."

He frowned as she made her way over, lifted the casing covering the keys, and sat down.

"What are you doing?"

June smirked. "Washing my feet. What does it look like I'm doing, imbecile?"

She placed her fingers on the keys and Jack braced himself, wondering if she was going to pound on the keys or break into a beautiful symphony of sound.

Instead, he suddenly heard the tinking of keys as she played a children's version of "Ring Around the Rosies".

She stopped and smiled up at him.

"What the hell was tha'?" he snorted.

"Hey, I never finished me lessons, all right?" she confessed, "But I was an avid student."

"You sure could have fooled _me_," he said sarcastically.

June made a face at him and said, "Next room, please."

Sparrow ushered her by the next room, saying, "We don't need to go in there."

She stuck her head in, getting an eyeful of mahogany bed and red silk sheets. It was his bedroom.

"Aw, don't trust yourself?" June questioned cheekily.

"No, I don't trust you," he muttered. He led her to the last room at the other end of the small hallway. Pushing the door open, June entered, immediately filling her nose with a musty smell.

"Books," she stated, "I love that book smell." The room was pitch black, but Jack took a lantern sitting on a stand next to the door and lit it slowly. She took it from him, holding it up for herself to see.

The walls were covered with bookcases filled to the brim. Another barren fireplace was located to her left. Two big cushioned chairs were in the middle of the room, stacks of books on either side of them.

"Where did ye get all these?" June said with a shake of her head, "Hijack a traveling library o' something?"

"British soldiers like to read, what can I say?" Sparrow said innocently.

"Do you?"

"When I have the time," he said, picking at a stray string hanging from his off-white shirt.

"So you can read, then? Astonishing," she commented.

"Do you enjoy baiting me and makin' me life a livin' hell?" Jack said, his brown eyes darkening in challenge.

"Perhaps." She shrugged.

"Want to know something?" he spat, "I wouldn't have taken ye with me if Anastasia hadn't begged me to. Said ye deserved a chance. Ha! Was I ever wrong to agree with her!"

"Everyone deserves a second chance," June said with a grin, "Even the invincible Jack Sparrow."

"Now what do I need a second chance for?" Jack asked angrily, flopping into the nearest chair and running a hand over his goatee.

June smiled deviously and if not a bit foolishly. She crouched next to his knees and trailed a finger down his thigh.

"A second chance to kiss me like you've been wanting to," June whispered seductively.

* * *

A/N: I couldn't resist, mate. I couldn't leave this story alone for another day. Had to get to what everyone's been waiting for.

Special thanks to Katie for helping me choose the last word of the chapter and for the library setting. Ooh la la!

Reviews to Reviews!

Twilight-la-fae: Oh, those silly natural disasters. How we love thee. Sorry about the shortness…hope this chapter made up for that!

Karal: Thank you homie! You are the bee's knees.

Leanan Sidhe: Hey gal! Tada! His house! Kazaam! It's so nice to converse with you again. And Jack says, I quote, "Don't be scared o' me manhood, dove…there's enough Jack to go around!"

TheSiriusSparrow: There you go, making me blush again. You are the champion blushinator!

Kurama13: Thanks for reviewing! You get an honorary compass I found out of a Cracker Jack Box! Jack Sparrow's Cracker Jacks! Woo!

CrzySxyCoolPirateofMirkwood: Haha, I am glad you find it so humorous. That means my job is done for today. (salutes and runs away, laughing maniacally)

TheDutchessofDoom: Oh Dutchess…trying to seduce me with reviews in order to get a new chapter. Gah! It worked! What is the world coming to?! Hehee, but picture Sparrow doing the pelvic movements instead of Elvis! (drools) Ah yes, will Jack finally suck it up and give in already to the throes of passion? Or will he and June have a smackdown? Only time will tell! Stay tuned for the next chapter!

Pirate Gyrl: I updated! I updated! You are phantasmically awesome, girl! I hope they haven't been working you too hard at your job. (Lovin' your updates by the way!) : )

Adri-Laree: Hehee, I know what you're thinking. 'mature' my butt, right? : ) Silly June. Thank you so much for liking my chapters! You are the bomb diggety!

PiratePrincezz: I love your quote! "Is that a plane?" Classic. Good times right there. Aw, I love writing humor! June's gotta be my most favorite to write because I can make her as spontaneous as I want her to be. Thanks a bundle for your kind words!

Nuruhuine: Aw, you can't get enough of it, eh? Hope this chapter helped you out with that! (smiles) Thank you so much!

Jeyke: Just sending in a review is great. Thank you!!

Punkdpirate: Tada! His house! His wonderful abode of lovely splendor! I shall check out those stories of yours when I get the chance, dearie! Would I pass up the chance to read something by you? Never.

TourniquetALA: Thanks! I'm glad you liked the chapter.

Evil Duckie of theBlackLagoon: (evil grin) Attack her like a wild animal, eh? Only time will tell, dahhling! Thank you for the awesome email and I will make sure to check out your stories!

Kc81501: Don't feel newish! : ) Thanks for reviewing. Argh, homework already? That's a rip. I hope this chapter made you feel muchos better.

Irish Hopes: (joins in with the happy dance) (sings) Can't touch this! Da da da da! HAMMERTIME!

NazgulGirl: Don't be confused. LIVE! LIVE! I think I just confused myself too. Ah well. Hope you enjoyed the chappie!

* * *

To everyone else who reviewed after the post, I adore you.

Until milkshakes can't shake no more,

PineAppleLint


	18. Interesting Developments

Disclaimer: I don't own anything! Bleh.

A/N: I'm back! Yes! Sickness is going around and I caught it (as always) so I missed classes the other day and wrote some of this. I just finished it. Hot off the presses! (does hot-off-the-presses dance) I've missed all of you wacky reviewers.

* * *

"A second chance to kiss me like you've been wanting to," June whispered seductively.

Jack stared down at her, a mixture of confusion and blatant ferocity in his expression. "What the hell are you talkin' about?"

"You know…" with a wave of her hand, she continued, "…a second chance. To kiss me! Are ye getting the picture?"

Oh, Jack full well got the picture, but the truth was…he was horrified.

"By that disgusted look on your face I suppose you'll pass on that lil' offer," June grinned, polishing her dirty fingernails on her shirt, "It's not often a man turns down June Oleander's offer for an exotic night of passion."

Sparrow chose not to answer. Was she really that stupid? Thinking HE, of all people, would jump on her like a pack of ravenous wolves?

June tapped her chin thoughtfully. "I have an idea. How about a preview o' what a night with me entails, savvy?"

_If she touches me, I'll shoot her. _

But she was already sliding into his lap, bracing her hands on both of the chair's armrests and easing herself over him, sliding her thighs along either side of his.

Sparrow raised his gaze towards the ceiling. _God, I know we don't talk much, but save me from this siren!_

He dropped his head down, his beautiful brown eyes meeting her stormy ones. "Oleander, whatever happened to you?"

"What?" she asked, subconsciously parting her lips.

Jack squirmed uncomfortably before saying with an emotionless voice, "The innocent lil' Christian with a heart o' fucking gold that Ana described from the past."

"Oh, I'm a good Christian all right," June replied, eyes twinkling as she ran her lips across his, his moustache slightly tickling her upper lip, "I use the Bible quite a lot…to keep the bed from rocking."

Jack almost choked on his tongue when she accented the last part of the sentence with a suggestive grind against his body.

"Don't ye think you're takin' this a bit too far?" Jack questioned with narrowed eyes, trying to keep his voice from raising a couple of octaves. His fingers clenched the armrests in a painful grip as she kept her lips hovering over his, her soft breathing tickling his goatee.

Sparrow glanced up at the ceiling and began counting the tiles in order to calm himself down. It wasn't working. Not by a long shot. _Plaid knickers…plaid knickers…wait, is she wearing knickers? _Apparently chanting random things wasn't going to work either. He sucked in a breath as he rode the waves of inner turmoil.

"Jack," June purred, "Ye can't hold out on me forever. I've seen ye strugglin' with those crazy thoughts runnin' through that thick head o' yers ever since I sang to ye the night we met. Remember?"

Oh, Jack remembered all right. Vividly. But he wouldn't give her the satisfaction of knowing that.

"No," he replied a bit too hastily.

"Do ye think I sing well, Jack? Among…other things?"

He glanced up at her grinning like a madwoman. Suddenly, he was shoved over the brink of sexual frustration and madness.

"Congratulations," Jack replied hoarsely, "I'm sure you've been waitin' for this moment for a long time…"

"Wha…" her sentence was cut off when he roughly pulled her against him and crushed his lips onto hers. She gasped in surprise, yet instantly melted into the kiss, wrapping her hands into his unruly hair, squeezing her thighs against him in heated passion.

"Jack…" June whispered breathlessly, nuzzling the side of his face with hers. He stole the breath right out of her lungs as he bent his head and ran hot kisses down her throat to the swell of her cleavage rising from her baggy white shirt. She stretched lithely as he began exploring her flushed skin with his rough fingertips.

"Say I…intend to take ye…to bed tonight," Jack said huskily between kisses, "What say you?"

"Captain Jack Sparrow," she laughed, "I thought ye hated me guts. This is certainly going to put a cramp in your style."

"As is yours."

She pulled back from him, staring into his dark, stormy brown eyes curiously. "Do ye really hate me, Jack?"

"Is this a trick question?" he questioned with a grimace.

"Nah. Just wonderin'. I give ye such a hard time and all…"

Jack grinned up at her and replied, "I find ye the most annoyin' gel I've ever had the displeasure of crossin' paths with, savvy?" June's eyes narrowed and she was about to say something when he placed a finger to her luscious mouth and continued, "But…would I be allowin' ye to seduce me in such a matter if I hated ye?"

She tapped a finger to her chin thoughtfully. "Good point."

"And there's no other gel around to perform such acts with, so of course I'm left wit' you," Jack added with a wink, grabbing her hips again.

"Oh, how nice, Captain," June drawled, gently playing with some of the beads in his dreads, "If ye feel that way, why don't ye give Anastasia a go?"

"She's a fine specimen, she is, but I wouldn't want to emotionally scar that innocent minx."

"Scar?" June raised her eyebrows.

"Why don't we cut the chatter and just see for ourselves, eh?" Jack asked before pulling her mouth down to his again. June placed her hands on his chest and felt his heart rate escalating quickly through his thin vest and shirt. Jack felt her smiling against his lips and he groaned softly. Leaning over to the side of her tanned face, he began to whisper what he wanted to do to her in vivid detail. June tensed up in sexual frustration, her eyes widened slightly before she closed them. Before she could completely surrender herself to Jack, there was a knock on the door.

"Damn it ALL!" Jack growled, his exclamation muffled in her disheveled hair. Pulling back, Jack and June wildly stared at each other as they heard the click of a doorknob turning.

In a flash, June found herself tumbling head over heels to the floor as Jack had pushed her off of him in panic. He grabbed a book off of the nearest table and opened it with shaky hands, pretending to read as Anastasia entered the library slowly.

June smoothed out her hair and broke into a huge, fake smile right after shooting Jack the dirtiest look she could muster. Knowing that Jack was ashamed of their playful little rendezvous wasn't exactly satisfying.

"This is interesting," Ana mused, gazing at the two of them with raised eyebrows, "Two pirates reading while a party is going on downstairs? Hmm."

Jack's natural demeanor returned almost instantly. "Anastasia, luv…nice of you to join us," he commented lightly, "Might as well grab a book and make yourself comfortable!"

Anastasia scoffed at him. "I don't believe you. Instead of downing your fair share of rum downstairs, you'd rather indulge yourself in literature?"

"Just because we're pirates, luv, doesn't mean all we care about is getting drunk."

"How's dear William?" June asked suggestively. Jack raised his eyebrows in response.

"He's fine," Ana stammered, blinking, "I don't know what else you mean by that…"

"Oh, I think ye know…" June answered.

"If ye want to take advantage of him, you could get the poor whelp drunk," Jack said with a shrug, "That always works."

Immediately, Anastasia thought back to when Will did so happen to get rip-roaring drunk and make a complete annoying ass out of himself and instantly winced. "Enough of that," Ana said quickly, "The crew has gotten a bit tipsy and they mentioned they need someone to go check on the watchmen on the _Pearl_…"

"I'll do it," June interrupted, standing up abruptly.

"That really isn't necessary," Jack mentioned hastily, waving his hands about, "I could just appoint someone…"

"No, no," June said with a biting tone, her steely glare piercing and ominous, "It's really _no trouble_, _Jack_," and stormed out of the room without another word.

"What have ye gone and done this time, Captain Sparrow?" Ana questioned with a sigh.

_Perhaps the question is: what haven't I gotten the chance to do?_ he thought with a grimace.

"Nothing, darling," he said, getting up from the chair and patting her on the back gently, "Nothing at all. Why is it that ye don't trust me?"

"Frankly, Sparrow, you affect her in more ways than one," she pointed out, "Driving her absolutely mad AND, might I add, sexually stimulating her, and that's not a good combination."

"Why, Miss Walker!" Jack teased, flabbergasted, "You said sexually stimulated! My virgin ears! My virgin-ooff!" She pushed him away from her and placed her hands on her hips, not amused in the slightest.

"It also doesn't help that you treat her so cruelly," Ana continued with a serious glance at him, "You never pick on anyone else, Jack, the way you pick on her. She never hears the end of it…"

"…might I add that it's both ways, luv?" Jack added with a roll of his eyes, "Come on, you're not givin' me enough credit. If I were any other man, they would have shot her from here to Hell and back. No one else would have been so forgiving."

"Oh…" she stuttered, "I see…"

"Oh," Jack repeated with a mocking tone. He waved her off and replied, "Go on and enjoy the party, Miss Walker. I don't want to be keepin' you from the festivities."

She nodded, and asked quietly, "Will you be joining us?"

Jack threw on his coat, muttering to himself. He glanced up at her and said quickly, "I have other things I need to get done," slipped past her, out the door, and disappeared.

* * *

"_That really isn't necessary_!" June repeated in a high-pitched voice as she made her way through the dark forests once again, waving her sword out in front of her in a flamboyant manner, "Necessary my ass. I would rather make me way through a thousand forests instead of stayin' with that pig for four more seconds! HA!" She cut through a vine in front of her, swiping at it with her blade, "Take that, Sparrow! TAKE THAT!" 

Crickets called out into the night and she giggled to herself. "I'm actin' foolish," she said aloud, "Mighty foolish. What else did I expect? Did I really think Jack would want others knowin' he was attracted to a monstrosity like meself? What bull that was."

She staggered over some tree roots and heard a mosquito buzzing close to her ear. She swatted at it before she rubbed the bump on her head. June had attained it from when it connected to the library floor after Jack went hysterical and threw her off of him.

What would have happened if they actually slept with each other? Would Jack have treated her like a leper? Would he give her an even harder time than before?

He was a swine, throwing her off of him like a whore that didn't please him well enough.

She stopped in her tracks and let out a loud shout into the sky. It wasn't composed of words, but feeling. She was tired of being misunderstood.

June didn't see how it was hard for Jack to misunderstand her. They weren't that different, Jack and her. They both lived in the moment, they didn't care what anyone else thought of them. They were people who just wanted to spread their wings.

June wasn't always like that. Definitely not. She had never been so outgoing, so wild as she had been in the past couple of years. She had been the quiet lady standing in the corner of the ballroom adorned with pearls and lace, catching up with friends and family. Men never really concerned her. And she thought pirates were bloody ruffians…scoundrels that deserved to be hanged.

She never really knew when the sudden change took place. She had never liked to delve into the past when she was so content with the present.

June stumbled out of the thick jungle and onto the sands and shells. Running a hand across her sweaty forehead, she jumped into a rowboat and continued her journey to the _Pearl_.

* * *

Will sat at the kitchen table by himself, the soft glow of lamplight tracing every outline. Lightning flashed every now and then, casting eerie shadows across the walls. 

A screech of a chair moving struck him out of his daze and he glanced up.

Anastasia joined him at the table, smiling warmly. After sitting silently, she asked, "What are you thinking about?"

"Home," he said gently.

"Would you like to go back?"

"I…I don't know anymore, Anastasia. It's nice to forget for a while, forget what's expected of me. But I can't run from it forever."

"I know. I understand."

"…do you?" he questioned, looking up at her pretty face once more.

"I have responsibilities at home too, you know," she replied, following a speck of dust drifting across the table with her thumb, "Like the tavern…"

"You don't need to work there," Will stated with a shake of his head, "Not a respectable woman like you…"

"I don't _need _to work there?" Ana repeated with a surprised look, "If you haven't noticed, dear William, I live alone. I need the money. I'm not wealthy."

"But in a tavern, Anastasia?" Will grimaced, "It just seems like you're above all that…"

"I must point out that it seemed like you didn't have a problem with any of this before. And I'm above that? What makes working there so demeaning? Why must you look down on my profession when there is no other option open to me? I'm just a waitress."

"Yes, you're a waitress working in very dangerous conditions," Will argued.

"Please, enough William," she said with a sigh, rising up her hand to silence him, "I'm tired. The last thing I want to do is get into another nitpick with you."

The steady tick of the clock in the hallway filled the air as they both grew silent. Each stared down at the table, shuffling their feet uncomfortably.

Here she was, sitting alone in a kitchen, full of candlelight and romance, with the man of her dreams. And all she managed to do was muck it up and let him provoke her again.

"I'm sorry," he said suddenly, his warm brown eyes meeting hers, "That was a bit rude of me to delve into your business in such a matter. If you're happy, I'm happy."

"Good. That was no way to talk to the woman who saved your life," Ana winked.

Will rolled his eyes and groaned, "You're never going to let me live that one down, are you?"

She shook her head with a cheeky grin plastered over her face. "Nope. You were quite a funny sight, Mister Turner. Oh, how I'll savor that moment for as long as I live!"

"How about we just drop it?" he suggested with raised eyebrows.

"Never!" she retorted, crossing her arms.

"All right. If that's how you want to play the game, fine, Miss Walker. What can I do for you in order for you to never bring it up again? If Jack got wind of that, he'd tease me mercilessly. It's not everyday I get intoxicated, almost drown, and get saved by a woman."

_What can I do for you…? _The words were rewound and played over and over in Anastasia's mind. She practically salivated. _Hmm, what would June suggest at a time like this…_

"I don't like that look," Will commented, studying her, "It's quite frightening."

"A kiss," Ana piped up suddenly.

Will laughed, but his laughter soon died.

"You're not joking?" he blinked.

She shook her head.

"That…I…I don't…erm…" he stuttered.

Ana smiled and stated, "Fine. If you're not man enough to give me what you owe me, I suppose I'll just…"

"Hold on one minute," Will said sharply, "That was below the belt…"

"…it was intended to be. Good night, Will."

Anastasia turned to leave the room with a satisfied grin on her face for catching him so off guard, but that smirk was soon wiped off when Will grabbed her by the arm, whirled her around…

…and softly placed his lips on hers...

* * *

"We pillage we plunder, we rifle and loot…" June hummed to herself, "Doo da la de da!" She had long since relieved the watchmen of their duties, allowing them to row back to shore and join in the celebration while she stood at the peaceful helm…alone. 

She had the _Black Pearl _all to herself tonight. Fog curled and slinked across the ocean surface. The moon rode high in the sky, dark clouds surrounding it like thick blankets.

"It's just you and me, ol' gel," June said aloud, patting the helm thoughtfully, "Just you and me."

The _Pearl _groaned in response.

"Oh, I see how it is," June muttered, "Whatever happened to the late night swims we took together? The random drinks? The fun? The laughs? Does all that mean nothin' to ye?"

The ship rocked slowly, creaking a bit in answer.

June ran her hands along the smooth pegs, gently feeling the cool wood in silent appreciation. Heck, she could steal the damned thing right then and there if she wanted to. A while ago she would have done just that.

But she had changed when it came to the _Pearl_. Or by _Pearl_, she meant Jack. No matter. She just wanted to enjoy the serenity in her own little fantasy land paradise. Not dive into philosophizing about how she felt about certain people or ships or what she wanted to steal and what she didn't want to steal.

"Drink up me 'earties…" she continued.

"…yo ho," someone finished for her. And the person sounded entirely too amused.

"How long have you been standin' there, Jack?" June asked, not bothering to turn around or let go of the helm.

"Long enough. I thought I was the only one who talked to me ship, dearest."

"Well, you were wrong."

She tensed up when she felt his breath suddenly tickling her ear and his arms coming up on both sides, trapping her in her place.

Jack kissed her lightly at her nape; his lips surprisingly cool against her hot skin. He then murmured, "The _Black Pearl _likes ye. Always has. I could feel it right when I caught you aboard. And I think She'd agree with me when I say I think you and I have a little unfinished business to attend to, savvy?"

* * *

Hehe. Jack Sparrow is scrumtrulescient. Review, ye pirates! 


	19. Saw This One Coming!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything of Disney's. I am horribly, terribly sorry.

Author's Note: Hello! I have been gone for so long…(sobs) Jeez Louise. It's been ages. Really. Thank you so much to all who kept reviewing and hoping that I haven't died and have tried to revive me and my writing. School has been super busy, but alas, it shall be ending soon and I hope to get back to my old self as well as get my groove back. Give it back to me, STELLAAAA!

PineAppleLint

* * *

"The _Black Pearl _likes ye. Always has. I could feel it right when I caught you aboard. And I think She'd agree with me when I say I think you and I have a little unfinished business to attend to, savvy?"

June's eyes almost rolled into the back of her head. She felt an enormous expanse of heat envelop her skin and cause certain parts of her to tingle, much like her jaw would from a very smart punch.

Those darn things were always something she seemed to experience. Not the sexual tingles, but the unfortunate, painful ones. This one was nice though, she had to admit.

"Jaaaack…" she sighed real deep. Only after the fact she melted back against the hard contours of his body and breathed out his name like a lover did June slap a hand over her mouth.

"That's it, pet," he said gruffly, guiding her pelvis against his like they were doing a slow, sensual tango, "I want to hear me name on your lips all night." Jack buried his face into her long black locks and breathed in, taking in her scent in almost a desperate fashion, wanting to feel and experience more of her in that one moment.

For a few seconds, June felt odd. It wasn't supposed to be like this. Even as she was turned clockwise and his lips found hers with soft need, she realized this wasn't how she had pictured the whole thing at all. Not that she was a dirty little bugger and she had thought about a wild romp with Jack for weeks on end, but she had expected intimacy with him to be not so…intimate.

June had imagined it would be viewed almost as a conquest for both of them. Taking and giving, giving and taking with fierce dominance and fast-paced action. The way scoundrels and knaves usually did this sort of thing; void of tenderness and straight to business. At least that's what she had experienced before. Jack had kissed her with a cut-to-the-chase attitude all those times before, and now it was slow. Soft. Passionate.

It scared the devil out of her.

"You seem to have forgotten something," she whispered gently, guiding his lips from her neck back to her face and kissing him feverishly.

"What's tha'?"

"I'm June Oleander."

"I know who ye are, luv. I'm not drunk…right now," he teased. June grabbed him by the overcoat and pressed him solidly to her, taking his words right into her lovely mouth. Jack groaned then, hoisting her up and wrapping her legs around his waist. "_Jesus Christ_…" he gasped as she began doing well versed, rhythmical things with her hips, "You have got a lot o' explaining to do, young lady."

"I'm no fucking lady, Captain. Ye know that," she winked as he began backing them both into his cabin.

"You will be in a minute." And then they vanished into the darkness with a kick of Jack's foot against the door.

* * *

Sure, perhaps it was a cliché for Anastasia to feel as if she were seeing fireworks, but goodness, she had been waiting for this moment for quite a long time. She began to think it wasn't going to come, actually. William Turner was a hard man to crack.

Will Turner broke away gently as if not to frighten her.

After a couple of moments, Ana opened her eyes, trying to get rid of the ridiculous stupor she suddenly found herself in. No one spoke for what seemed like an eternity.

"Will?"

"I shouldn't have done that," he whispered apologetically, "Forgive me."

"I refuse."

"Why?" He raised his eyebrows.

"It…it was nice. I refuse to forgive you, William." Ana's cheeks flushed a certain pink while he stared at the floor in embarrassment. Another stretch of silence followed. They both reluctantly sat down across from each other in a couple chairs.

"I…haven't been entirely honest with you," Ana suddenly blurted out, wringing her hands in her skirts nervously.

Will placed his hand over hers, stilling them and casually tracing small circles on her palm with his finger. "Oh really?"

"There's been something I've been thinking about…emotional-wise, for quite a long time. And I don't know how to act or how to get the point across…I am extremely bad at this…" she stammered with a hiccup of a laugh.

"We've been friends for a while, Anastasia. You can tell me anything you want to," he coaxed, "I won't look at you any differently."

"Yes you will," she responded miserably, "Of course you will. It's about you."

"Me?" his eyes visibly widened.

"Yes. I like you a lot, Will…"

"I'm glad you do."

"No, I mean…quite a lot." She stared at him.

He suddenly blinked in realization. "Ohhh…"

"Yes. I think I'm in love with you, Will. Ever since you first stepped foot into the tavern."

"Ana…" he said pleadingly, "Don't do this…"

"Do what?" she cried, "I cannot help the way I feel about you, damnit!"

"I…" Will placed his face in his hands and sucked in a slow breath. "You are a wonderful woman, Anastasia. You know I think this about you. I am quite fond of your company. But love…" he shook his head, "I cannot…"

"Not after Elizabeth, is that it?"

He stared up at her with a pained look and said in a begging tone, "I simply cannot. You've known this! Why must you continuously bring her up? I cannot fall in love. Not now."

"Then when, Will?" Tears were beginning to well up in her eyes, "You're going to end up dying a lonely and bitter old man. You must allow yourself what you deserve." She stood up. "I am sick of this. I get this every time I try to break through that emotional wall of yours."

"It is none of your damn business!" he shouted.

"I'm glad I told you, you big fool," she shouted defiantly back, "Now you shall know what opportunity you have missed. Have a pleasant evening, Mr. Turner. Enjoy moping."

"I may be a big fool, but then you are a bigger one than I. You love someone who will never love you back," Will said in a cruel tone.

She froze, her hand still on the doorknob. And her heart broke into a million pieces.

Through a haze of tears, she marched up to him and smacked him full in the face. He grabbed her as she whispered _I hate you_ over and over, struggling against him. Her breath came out in short, broken sobs and she finally stilled as he held her to him, softly stroking her hair and her back, whispering soothing things into her ear.

"I am so sorry…" he whispered, "I didn't mean that. I didn't mean to be cruel. It will be all right, Ana…everything will be all right…"

Even as she sought the comfort of being in his arms, she knew that nothing would be all right. Not after that night.

* * *

The gentle rocking of the ship almost lulled June back to sleep, but she was mesmerized as she watched Jack, clad in only his trousers, at his desk looking over his maps and marking coordinates.

The lack of crew provided a certain quietness she wasn't used to, a sense of privacy that no one would vanquish for the time being. The smell of Jack and sweat lingered on the soft sheets caressing her bare body. The small yawn escaping her lips caused Jack to look up suddenly, grinning when his eyes rested on her face.

"Are you feelin' alright, Oleander?" he asked, his voice containing a teasing lilt, "I'm sure you're not used to such vigorous activities…"

"I wasn't the one who could barely keep up, Sparrow," June murmured sleepily, holding the sheets to her chest as she sat up and toyed with the unruly black curls framing her face, "Someone almost lagged behind…"

"Surely you do not mean me."

"I really don't think I could mean anyone else…unless there was someone else in the bed wit' us."

"Kinky," Jack said mischievously. He paused over his maps and then with his palm, pushed them over to the side and blew out the candle. Looking up again, he asked, "Did someone have a good time?"

She shrugged her tanned shoulders, glancing out the window innocently.

He swaggered over to her and leaned in close, his mouth inches from hers. "I know I did. We should do it again sometime, luv."

"Like now?" she teased.

He kissed her then, long and slow. "Perhaps." He leaned her back on the pillows and pinned her as she grinned foolishly up at him.

"I must admit…" he nipped at her jaw, "I was quite impressed wit' your skills. At first I thought you were a dirty liar when it came to your experience, but now I see…" he nuzzled the side of her face, "…that I should trust ye."

She opened her mouth to supply a witty retort, but he just cut her off with more kisses.

"And when I noticed that fine tattoo of yours, you had me swoonin', luv…"

June laughed and hit him in the arm. "That's not funny. I was drunk, had impaired judgment, and just the simple fact that Devon is a bitch…"

Jack slid off the covers and by this time was re-familiarizing himself with her curves. He traced a finger over her 'Jack' tattoo and his grin widened. "I love it, me dove."

"Don't you 'dove' me, Jack," she said with a roll of her eyes, stretching lithely, "I'm not one o' your doves."

"Fair enough."

She giggled when he ran his hand over a particularly ticklish spot. "Jack?"

"Yes?"

"Let's keep this our little secret."

He stared at her then, flabbergasted. "Did big-mouth June Oleander just say she wanted to keep a _secret_?"

"I know ye would want this to be kept a secret, Sparrow. Don't cover that little fact up."

"Fine. I suppose you're right." He sighed, running a hand over his goatee thoughtfully. "Not that I'm ashamed of it o' anything, I just wouldn't want the crew going crazy over this. Ye know we would never hear the end o' it…"

"So lips are zipped?" June asked.

He nodded, running a finger down her shoulder to her navel. "Let's seal this deal, shall we?" and Jack was successful in wrestling her under the covers.

* * *

Whew! I'm having hotflashes.

Please review, ye scallywags!


	20. This calls for a detour!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything of Disney's. Blast major corporations! BLAST THEM!

A/N: Hey…what's up?

Nothing much here. Thank you all so much for the 'huzzah' reviews. I'm back in BUSINESS! Woohoo! And apparently so is June and Jack. winks Let's get back to the story, shall we?

* * *

Jack leaned against the helm, taking in the calming sight of the endless horizon. He took pleasure in being on the ocean again, on the move. The wind was picking up and clouds were ominously rolling in, but he didn't mind. He always loved the smell of the ocean before a storm: refreshing, new, reborn. But now wasn't the time for him to become a philosophical pansy. He had orders to deliver.

"Gibbs!" he barked, "Get the crew ready and take down the sails." He looked pointedly up at the darkening sky to emphasize his order.

"Aye," Gibbs said gruffly, "It's goin' to be a nasty one, I can tell."

Jack glanced around the deck, making mental notes of everyone's activities. But he noticed he was a couple crewmembers short. "Gibbs?"

"Yes, Jack?" The older man raised his furry eyebrows.

"Where be the gels?"

Gibbs stared at him questioningly.

"Oleander and Walker…" he sighed in exasperation, his arms flinging about, "Where the hell are they? They aren't provided passage on me Pearl for free, you know."

Gibbs set his mouth in a firm line. "Apparently ye haven't heard the gossip flyin' around."

His grip on the helm tightened as Jack suddenly broke out in a cold sweat. _Did they know about June?_

"What is this about gossip, Gibbs?"

"You weren't there," Gibbs said in a hushed voice, "Last night, while the crew was having a good ol' time with some o' your best alcohols, a few of us overheard a heated argument between Mister Turner and the young miss."

"Anastasia?"

"Aye."

Jack rolled his eyes. "Bloody Christ…it never ends. I'm sure I'll hear all about it from the eunuch later."

Gibbs sighed. "And I'm sure Miss Ana is pourin' out her soul to Oleander as we speak."

* * *

Ana sniffed and dabbed at her blotchy eyes with a handkerchief June had long since produced from her front pocket.

"That's it dearie," June said quietly while patting the young woman's back, "Let it out. Men are bastards. Repeat it with me now. C'mon. Take a deep breath and say 'Men are bastards!' with defiance and courage!"

"No…" Ana sniffled.

"C'mon…do it for me?" June pouted.

Ana hiccupped and laid the handkerchief in her lap. "M-m-men are bastards."

"There! Don't ye feel better?" June grinned.

Ana smiled a little half-smile. "A little." She rolled over on her side on the cot, her skirts swishing with her movements. "I just don't know how William can be so cruel at times…"

June 'hmm'ed thoughtfully while playing with a few wisps of Ana's hair. "He's just scared. A lovely thing like you has got his brain as well as…_ahem_…other things…working. He doesn't want to admit he's interested and he doesn't want to admit he's scared."

Ana said regretfully, "I should have never told him. Stop trying to make me feel better, June. Just by the sound of his voice…I know he isn't interested. He hates me now."

"Give it time." June placed a kiss on Ana's forehead just as the door slammed open.

Jack stood in the doorway, a large grin on his face. "What did I miss?" he asked with a wiggle of his eyebrows at the sight of June's kiss. He slowly crept into the room as the two women frowned at him. "Pretend as if I'm not even here," he whispered dramatically, sitting in the nearest chair, "Continue."

"Sod off, Jack," June replied with a roll of her eyes, "Ana's just havin' a bit o' trouble right now, that's all. I'm tryin' to help."

"That's right. _Help_." He emphasized the word with silly quotations of his fingers. "C'mon then…keep _helping_ her, you naughty vixen."

Anastasia wrinkled her brow in disgust. "Jack, what a vile thing to say!"

"Remember Ana…" June said with a serious stare, "Remember what I told you. Men are bastards."

"Surely not all men," Jack protested, crossing his legs in a feminine matter, "I'm a gentleman."

"Ha." June smirked, "In what universe is that?"

"Mock me all you like, Oleander," he said with a glare, "But it seems to me that someone is down here discussin' girly things while she should be on deck helpin' prepare for the oncoming storm."

"I'll come up in a bloody minute."

"No, I need you up there now," he retorted.

"But…"

"N-o-w. That means now."

"It's that time o' the month, isn't it, _Captain_?" she muttered under her breath while shoving on her hat and grabbing her things.

Ana giggled at the comment and stared at a rather annoyed Jack, who stood up and pointed a finger in June's face, much to her surprise.

"Remember what we discussed, _Oleander_," he hissed, "It is MY ship, MY orders, savvy? Now move your arse above deck."

June smiled sweetly and didn't budge. "Ask me nicely," she breathed seductively, stretching against the doorframe.

Jack took one look at her before grabbing her by the waist and hoisting her over his shoulder, carrying her towards the door.

"We'll talk later, Ana!" June yawned, waving at her before she disappeared around the corner.

Instead of carrying her up the stairs, June realized he was heading towards the storage closet. He set her down in the shadows and said without so much as a smile, "Last night doesn't exempt you from your duties."

"I know that, Jack," she said with a grin, "But next time, could you be a bit softer? I'm still sore!"

Jack murmured into her ear, "I was soft the first time, love. All those other times, you deserved it."

She raised her eyebrows. "Why the hell did I deserve it?"

He tilted his head to one side and stared down at her, keeping her hips aligned with his with his hands, "You've been teasin' me since day one. It was only right and proper that I got me revenge." Jack grinned lewdly. "And so I did."

"How could ye tell?" June asked with an innocent raise of her eyebrows.

He grabbed her roughly by the front of the shirt and said in a low voice, "Don't play coy with me, Oleander. I've been doin' this sort o' thing for quite a long time. I know when the ladies are fakin' and I know when it's as real as they come, savvy? You…" he paused, sweeping over her lean figure with his kohl-rimmed eyes, "Didn't have one chance in hell to fake it."

June shoved him off of her and sashayed away from him, saying over her shoulder, "Don't act like I was the one swooning, Jack Sparrow. I believe it was you who made the most noise last night." She disappeared upstairs and Jack leaned heavily against the wall as memories of the night before swarmed his mind and sparked heated desire within him.

Dear God, he wanted her again. It was never going to end. He groaned and hit his head purposefully against the wall. That woman was trouble. Delicious, intoxicating, exciting trouble. He wasn't going to be able to save himself. He had to do something…fast.

THE MAP! Jack cursed to himself. He had forgotten all about the bloody thing. June still had it in her possession. He craved the map that Duville wench must have given her. If he managed to get his hands on a valuable document like that, he wouldn't need Oleander anymore. He could get rid of her and therefore, be rid of this infuriating lust. And on the upside, he would have treasure, treasure he would have to split with Duville and McDowelle. And he betted that Duville would 'reward' him for his efforts in the aftermath. It was a win/win situation, really.

But would he be able to do it in the end? Do that to Oleander? It had to be done. Captain Jack Sparrow wasn't tied down to _anyone_, especially not some crazed gel that annoyed him to no end. A gel that oddly resembled him in feminine form, which meant she couldn't be trusted. She was a backstabber. June Oleander was a hazard to him, his crew, and his piracy.

So it was settled.

* * *

"Where are we headin'?" June pressed, poking Gibbs in the ribs and making him jump in the air.

A fat raindrop plopped onto her lips and she slurped it off as he replied in exasperation, "We're headin' to Port Royal. Turner and the miss need to be getting home, don't they?"

A look of panic edged her features and vanished as quickly as it had come. She needed to get to Spain. She needed to figure out that map. Gibbs stared at her questioningly.

"We need to go to Barcelona."

"Excuse me, lass?" he wrinkled his nose in disbelief.

"Yes…" she said dramatically, "Captain's orders. Before Port Royal, we are to head to Barcelona. It seems he's had enough o' me and wants to drop me off on the other side o' the world."

"Don't surprise me…" Gibbs grumbled, "Fine. If that's what Jack wants, I guess that's what we'll do." And with that, he swung the helm around, causing the Pearl to make a sharp U-turn.

Now, it was up to June to keep Jack occupied until they were drastically close to Barcelona.

It wouldn't be an easy task.

* * *

I sure know how to keep Mr. Sparrow occupied….by playing go fish and gin rummy and such! Jeez, you guys and your dirty minds… 


	21. Oh Snap! The Map!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Disney except my own characters and their pasts. Wooty woot.

A/N: Just wanted to say hi to everybody. Hi! So…how's life? Sweet. Where we last left off, June was sneakily getting Gibbs to change course to Barcelona, where her map leads to. Jack doesn't know about this 'change of plans' yet. Opps.

* * *

Jack was resting on his mattress, humming an improvised, lazy tune while taking strong swigs of a bottle of rum when he felt the Pearl suddenly drift to the side. An passenger unacquainted to captaining a ship would have hardly noticed such a tiny change in steering, but the slightest nudge of the Pearl and Jack's senses shot off like a smoking pistol.

Mr. Gibbs was at the helm, so what could have been the trouble? About to make his way outside to see what the hell was going on, his bare feet had barely touched the hard wood floor when the cabin door swung open.

"Oh Jaaaaa-aaaack!" June cried in a sing-song voice, slamming the door shut with all the force she could muster, determined to make the biggest noise possible, "How 'bouts a game of cards, eh?"

Growling, he leaned back on the bed. "Do ye always have to be so loud? You're like a squawking seagull…or a herd of bison. Either way it's exceedingly annoyin'."

She narrowed her eyes at him as she began picking through the shiny trinkets on his desk. "Are you callin' me fat?"

Jack took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. He wasn't in the mood for her incessant bickering. "Cut out the dramatics, Oleander. Now if you'll excuse me, I believe it's MY turn to steer." He sat up and laid his eyes on her, immediately freezing in shock. If he didn't know any better, he would admit he was gaping at her figure in that damned dress.

Yes, a dress. Oleander had on some deep crimson lacey thing. It showed off her tanned shoulders against the lace and the plunging neckline left nothing for the imagination. The corset framed her healthy waist and the skirts were detailed by dark, shining threads. She was barefoot and her hair was left down, the black curls tumbling down her back and around her grinning face.

"Do ye like it?" she asked, curtseying in the dress like a respectable young lady, "I was beginnin' to think you'd never notice."

Jack couldn't speak. Where were her boots, her hat? Where were those effects and breeches that roughened up her appearance? This soft vision before him appalled his every thought and every bodily sense.

"June?" he swallowed hard, "Where did ye find that?"

"Your trunks." She was beaming at his bewildered reaction. "Does it please you?"

"Why were you going through me trunks?" he questioned with a sour glare, trying to fight the desire to pull her into his arms. This reoccurring, pure lust angered him greatly because it seemed like he could never control it.

Jack reached for his hat with his dirt-ridden fingers and June instantly snatched it away, placing it atop her head. He narrowed his eyes at her, swaggering over to where she stood staring up at him innocently.

"How 'bouts that card game, Jack?" she said softly with a tiny pout.

He fought the sudden urge to smile. "Your new facade can do nothin' to make me forget what a crazed bitch you really are, Oleander."

She wrapped her arms around him and he weakly attempted to break free from her grasp. He instantly stilled when she placed a charming kiss onto his whiskered chin.

"A lady wouldn't be so outgoing wit' her advances towards the opposite sex," Jack reminded her with a husky voice, closing his eyes as her lips found his neck. He felt himself sinking deeper into a state of blissful need, drowning in her gentle yet dominant touches.

Unexpectedly, reality slapped him in the face like a ferocious prostitute. _The map!_ He needed it, blast her! And if he knew June Oleander, it would be hidden somewhere near her cot.

"Why don't ye get the cards out, me dove, and I'll go fetch us some fine alcohol from the galley, aye?" he interrupted with a wink, "And then perhaps I'll show ye a repeat of last night."

"A repeat?" she scoffed, "Seems like someone's quite the bore."

He raised his eyebrows at her mocking remark.

Sitting on the edge of his bed, she didn't bother crossing her legs like a respectable lady, but kept them rudely open, her long skirts allowing her agreeable parts to remain hidden from sight. "I thought you'd be up to a few new challenges, Captain Sparrow," June breathed, his tricorne hat sliding to a jaunty angle on her head and casting a shadow over her fiery black eyes.

"I do like new adventures," he replied, his expression losing all traces of humor and turning animalistic…carnal.

June watched as some unexpected emotion flooded his face and instantly vanished. What the hell was that? Regret? Guilt?

"Won't be but a moment, Oleander," Jack said quickly, tumbling out of the cabin and shutting the door after him.

Once out of sight, Jack made his way into June's quarters, tip-toeing to the best of his abilities past Ana's peaceful sleeping form. Looking back, he gazed at her for naught but a moment, taking in the innocence and naivety radiating off of her. Shaking his head, he cursed himself silently as the trinkets in his hair jingled with his movements.

Without a second thought, he plunged his hand into June's sheets and under her pillow, desperately searching for that paper of opportunity and riches. Resting his palm against her pillow, he felt something pointy amidst the feathers. Turning the fabric around, he noticed a slit where a few goose feathers were poking out.

The map! He suddenly forgot that June had, in fact, stolen one of his nice goose feather pillows and brought a dagger to it as his hand delved into the feathers and extracted the piece of worn parchment.

Stuffing it into the back of his trousers, he wiped up the wisps of feathers drifting away and placed them back into the pillow, making it seem as if her cot had not been disturbed.

"William…" Ana moaned, abruptly stretching and causing the confident and at-ease Sparrow to jump in fright.

Ah HA! The gel was dreaming about the lad! Jack crept up to the cot where Ana lay, a perplexed frown marking her face.

"My dear Anastasia…" Jack crooned tenderly into her ear, "Let me love you…"

"Will…please…" she whispered dreamily, clutching her sheets.

"My darling," Jack continued, fighting the urge to giggle like a prepubescent boy, "I would do the naughtiest of deeds to you, but I fear that I, William Turner, lack the appropriate parts for such an activity…"

Ana let out a strangled moan, turning over in sleep as Jack exited the room with a snicker. His next stop was the galley.

* * *

Jack growled a quick curse when he arrived and found June already sitting on the dinner table, a bottle of wine opened next to her and a glass in her hand.

Taking a hearty drink, June said cheekily, "You were taking too damned long, Sparrow. You go after alcohol as hastily as an arthritic old man."

Chuckling nervously, he sneakily crammed the map deeper down the back of his pants and picked up the bottle of wine, taking a strong swig. Peering at the label, he grinned and said, "Excellent choice, pet. I like me gels that have good taste in fine wines." He stared down at her innocently and added, "Where be the cards?"

"I thought…" she began, slyly pulling him towards her by the collar, "We'd skip to the adventuring part, Jack."

Pinning her to the table, Jack enthusiastically began a round of lip-lock with the willing woman. The business of the map was pushed to the back of his mind as he felt her respond to his burning kisses and desperate touch. And so was the fact that the door to the galley was left wide open.

* * *

Ana's eyes opened at the sound of waves crashing and she wiped off the sweat on her brow.

June still wasn't in her cot, as always. "Probably off drinking herself into a stupor," Ana muttered. Staggering over to the window, she stared at the moon and began to wickedly wonder about Will's, erm, assets. It was inappropriate for her to think about such things, and it puzzled her as to why such an awkward thought would be on her mind, but it plagued her nonetheless.

Perhaps a glass of water would do the trick. Tending to her dry throat almost always soothed her back to sleep. Opening the door gingerly, she began to make her way silently to the galley.

* * *

A/N: Oh boy. What a sultry chapter!   



	22. Found Out

Disclaimer: Me no own, you no sue!

A/N: Hello, lovelies! I want you to know that I am booting this rating up to R. Not because I plan to put anything exceptionally dirty into this little tale, but I feel that the use of language and sensuality does sometimes call for a soft R rating. After all, they are pirates. I hope you like this chapter. It was a fun one to write. Oh! And thank you all for reviewing! Answers to reviews of chapter 21 will be posted at the end. Ta!

PaL

* * *

-Perhaps a glass of water would do the trick. Tending to her dry throat almost always soothed her back to sleep. Opening the door gingerly, she began to make her way silently to the galley.-

That is, until she heard a gunshot reverberate along the walls and the ceiling. Ana was so shocked she clung to the nearest wall as if she was clinging to the edge of a steep cliff, attempting to catch her breath. Hell. It was two in the morning! This startling sound of DOOM only meant one inevitable thing…Jack and June were at it again.

She began to scurry towards the bunks, attempting to find Will, when she came across some very irritated pirates.

"What was that blasted noise?" Gibbs muttered, rubbing sleep from his eyes, "We 'ave to get up in a couple o' hours…"

"Will and I will take care of it," she said soothingly, "I'm sure it's nothing…"

"Ana!" Will burst through the growing crowd with incredible exertion despite the fact he was just woken as well. And as an added bonus, he was shirtless. "Ana, thank God, when I heard that gunshot…"

The fact that he actually cared for her well-being didn't exactly register right away. She spent a moment or two staring at his broad-shouldered, tanned, muscular frame, and the way those delectable muscles rippled with every movement. Mmm, if only she could sink her teeth into those…

"Ana?"

Blinking, she immediately cast those impure thoughts into the back of her mind and focused on regaining her ladylike composure. "Will," she forced a blush to her cheeks and glanced down to her toes, "Did the Pearl run out of clean shirts or something? I didn't know it was laundry day."

Will's befuddled expression instantly relaxed into a cat-like grin. And it wasn't cute like a cuddly housecat, oh no. It was predatory, like a lion before it ripped an unknowing gazelle to meaty shreds. He knew she had been gazing at his half-nude form with reckless abandon and was savoring the thought. "Ana," he said gently, touching her arm, "I don't think you have room to talk."

Glancing down, she realized she was still clad in naught but a loose-fitting night shirt that barely scraped her lower thigh. "I suppose you're right," she replied sheepishly, her blush deepening and running down to her collarbone, "I didn't get a chance to find something more respectable."

"Don't think anything of it, Anastasia," Will responded with a mischievous look, "I understand that's what you wear to bed. Fortunately, I remembered to pull some trousers on before I went to find you."

Anastasia's eyes were like saucers. He…he was implying…oh dear LORD! Resisting the urge to fan herself, she shouted, "Everyone back to bed. I'll take care of this." Turning to Will, she added, "June needs to be force fed some common sense, is all."

"I'll take care of Jack, then." Will looped his arm through hers, and they both walked to where they thought the gunshot originated…the galley. It was undeniably empty.

"How odd," Anastasia murmured, worriedly biting her lip. She glanced up to find Will watching her in amusement. Sitting on the table, she said, "I really appreciate you caring about my welfare."

"Don't think anything of it." He pushed aside a stack of cleaned dishes and sat beside her.

_What would June do at a time like this?_ Ana thought in frustration. What she didn't know was that minutes earlier June did, in fact, get inspiration from the galley table. And if she did know of that little incident, they probably wouldn't be sitting there in the first place for the fear of catching some odd strain of cooties.

Anastasia always knew she had a rebellious streak in her. She was supposed to be the dependable, responsible one, the complete opposite of the rash and loud June. Oh well. Fuck that. Right now, desperate times called for desperate measures.

Anastasia leaned into him suddenly, her nose touching his own. Surprisingly, Will didn't even back away.

"We should find June…" Will whispered weakly.

"We should…" Ana agreed just as softly before claiming his lips with her own, "…but let's not."

They melted into each other, each kiss growing fiercer as Ana wrapped her arms around him and Will massaged the back of her neck by lacing his fingers through her hair.

He broke away from her and said breathlessly, "I cannot love you, Ana…"

She cut him off with more kisses, feeling her pulse race with excitement. He was actually consenting to her touch! A rather far cry from the revulsion she had experienced in the past. He was actually attracted to her, and that gave Ana hope.

"In the physical or emotional sense?" she smoothly joked, "Because I am perfectly content with the first part for now."

"Anastasia…" he said, suddenly alert, "Do you smell that?"

"Will, I never knew dinner upset you in such a manner. I'm going to have to reconsider spending time with you in close proximity."

He cut her a scathing look before saying, "No, the alcohol. Do you smell it?"

Ana took a long whiff and realized that there was a broken wine bottle on the floor, the liquid oozing through the floorboards and the shards of glass glinting in the dim light.

"June's been here," Will stated, leaping off the table, "And I'm sure Jack wasn't far behind. Let's go." He offered Ana a hand and she took it with a sigh, her lips aching to be kissed again just as her heart was aching with the realization that the delicious moment had ended.

* * *

What had happened moments before Will and Ana got there wasn't uncharacteristic of the flamboyant duo. Jack should have seen it coming, but he was too distracted by the way June felt in his rough grasp. He could feel her toned body moving against him eagerly as his back shifted against the wooden table. He could smell the rustic, salty sweetness to her skin hovering over him and see her content smile grow at the tiny groans that escaped him. And that dress! That sensual dress she was wearing shot off every pleasurable nerve in his body…

Of course, he WAS enjoying himself as she "toyed with his pistol", but suddenly

**BANG**

The composed Jack Sparrow shouted a vile obscenity before sending the both of them tumbling to the floor, the bottle of wine going down with them and exploding against the planks.

"Jesus Christ!" Jack hissed angrily, suddenly apprehending their situation and was trying to keep quiet, "What the fuck do ye think you're doing?"

June attempted to muffle her giggles against her skirts but failed. "Sorry. Guess I grabbed the wrong pistol."

"You could have shot me! And you spoiled me finest bottle!" Jack grabbed her wrists into a painful grip, forcing her to look at the gun at his waistband. It was still smoking.

She bit her lip and whispered, "Things were really startin' to heat up, I suppose," and burst into another giggle fit when she noticed the hole in his trousers and the bullet lodged into the table.

"You…almost…shot me…in the leg!" Jack growled and picked her up with one swoop of his arms, "I'll make ye regret it, too!"

Letting out a girlish squeal, she feigned a half-assed attempt to break loose from his strong hold of her before settling comfortably into his arms. He carried her up onto the main deck, his boots making a clunking noise with every step, his dark dreads gently waving about in the soft wind.

"What do you have planned for me, Cap'n?" she asked seductively, batting her eyelashes, "Because I'm just about up for anythin', me darling pirate ma…" June paused in shock as he began to undress her with jerky, impatient movements. His skilled fingers unbuttoned every last button before yanking the crimson dress down and letting it pool at her feet. Ignoring her sudden nudity, he grinned at June's appalled expression, showing her his glinting gold teeth.

Then he threw her overboard.

Jack ignored her scream as he stared calmly up at the night sky, at the glittering constellations plastered across the never-ending black sheet before frowning in confusion.

What the hell?

"Jack! The water's perfect!" June called out mischievously, "Care to join me? I promise not to accidentally shoot at you again. On second thought, you best remove your pistol just in case."

Sparrow leaned over the railing and narrowed his eyes at the sultry vixen. Oh, she was a crafty one! He wouldn't let her get away with it…

"Won't be but a moment, me dove…" he called huskily, stripping off his effects and shirt before doing the most graceful (and masculine) swan dive she had ever seen, landing in the dark, cool water somewhere beside her.

She was enjoying the water caressing her body when a pair of hands ran along her hips. Jack surfaced a mere six inches away from her. Water cascaded down his face, the kohl running down his cheeks and past his moustache in tiny rivulets. His bare chest and shoulders beaded with water, and June couldn't resist licking some of it off.

"I need to hear an apology!" she said with a grin, "For treatin' me beautiful form with such neglect."

"I want to, luv, but your supple form bobbing in front o' me in such a manner is not allowin' me to concentrate on your request," he replied with a wink, letting his eyes roam over what the ocean could not hide. She opened her mouth in order to respond with a creative insult, but his wandering hands took the breath out of her.

June sure hoped she wouldn't drown.

* * *

"Why aren't we moving?" Ana grumbled, "Shouldn't someone be at the helm?"

"Jack should," Will declared with a shake of his head, "Where the hell are they?" An unusual splash on the starboard side of the Pearl answered his question. "Oh God, I bet he's trying to drown June," Will said with a sigh.

"Yes, the animosity between them has finally gotten out of control," Ana agreed. They were about to peer over the railing when a half-naked Jack crawled over the side.

Ana was about to say something aloud to make their presence known, but suddenly another body followed Jack's. An obviously NAKED body!

Will and Ana immediately scrambled to hide behind the main mast, red in the face. It was June. Of course, they weren't able to see anything too flashy because Jack handed her the dress she was wearing earlier. She hugged it to her body rather than immediately putting it on.

"Can you believe this?" Ana gasped in a low voice, glancing at Will, who still had his eyes diverted.

"I thought they hated each other," Will mumbled in embarrassment. His ears were a cute shade of pink.

"Don't worry, she's covered for now," Ana whispered back, "Let's continue our eavesdropping fest!"

June leaned against the railing and grinned up at a satisfied Sparrow, graciously accepting his heated kiss.

"Darling," he murmured, "I can't help but notice that we're not where we're supposed to be."

"I know, I know…its a bit risky bein' out here and all," June laughed, "I will go into your cabin willingly if that's what you desire."

"That's not what I mean," Jack said with a superior smirk, "You think I wouldn't notice our current coordinates?"

A flash of bewildered understanding swept through her expression but was suddenly gone, replaced by a cool, composed smile. "What? I'm not comprehendin' a bloody thing you say, Jack. The salt water must have gotten to you…"

Jack clenched his teeth and curled a hand around her nape, painfully fisting some of her wet black locks, "Why don't you tell ol' Jack where we're going, eh? Because I'm getting mighty impatient."

"You should know," June spat, pressing the dress closer to her shivering body, "Why don't you give me back the fuckin' map you stole from me?"

* * *

**Review TIME! Hope on the ol' Review Train! Woowoo!**

Leanan Sidhe: Yay! One o' my favorite writer gals! How are you doing, lovey? I'm so happy the last chapter was up to the standards you set for me. Ha. I am desperate for more chapters from you…sheesh, how long has it been? It's immoral to keep a fellow pirate-lover waiting so long. I hope this chapter kept you on your toes. It's quite a bit more sultry than the rest. I heart sultry-ness.

Deathly Nightshade: Hehe, I'm so glad you like it! I know what you mean, I love June. She makes my navel tickle with laughter. It's more fun updating this story because I get to be more lenient and witty with the dialogue. Thank you so much for reading all the other stories. I love hearing what you think!

Pirate Gyrl: Dani, me love! It's wonderful to hear from you again. Our IM chats are always fun, like we're having a little pirate parTAY. Hope you liked this chapter. Woo, new R rating! That's always exciting. I can't wait to READ more from you, because I love your stuff. Perhaps Pirates 2 will give us the inspiration we are all craving.

MorgauseNokami: Evil Jack is always slightly hotter than Normal, Calm Jack. (evil, sultry thoughts) You know it's true!

Arein: Of course, dearie, it was a cross between (B) Will in naught but a pair of knickers and (F) Jack and June…er…um. We cannot determine yet what June will EXACTLY do to Jack because of the blasted map, or what Jack will do to June by messing with their destination. Either way I'm sure it will be equally entertaining. When I read your review, I (A) fainted, because it was intensely hot in the room and I hadn't had a bite to eat for a couple of hours. The excitement of getting such a creative review had something to do with it as well, I suppose. I hope you have something up on fanfiction, because I'd love to read it. You sound like a witty kind o' person, which means your writings would be awesome.

DJ-Tic-Tacs: Hello, Sweet Desires! The greatest compliment a gal can get in a situation like this is that she writes Jack well. So thanks very much! I really appreciate the review and the fact you're reading. Hope you enjoyed this chapter.

Captain Duckula: I'm sure Will and Ana won't be able to get some shut-eye for quite some time. They will probably be scarred for the better half of their adulthood.

Funkyflamingo: Hello! Hehe, thanks for reading this story as well as Trade with the Devil! To tell you the truth, it had been so long that I had to go back and reread as well. (lowers head in shame) Thank you so much for the loverly compliments!

Katie: Dude! New R Rating! Thanks for the amusing chats, homie. Pirates 2! We are so seeing it first showing. We are going to have to roll out our sleeping bags a week in advance.

Turn-my-black-roses-red: Hahahaha…no, you don't sound like a reader stalker. (locks door and deadbolts it, accompanies action with a nervous, high-pitched laugh) Hahaha. All jokes aside, thank you for reading and I hoped you liked the chapter.

Sentinel Sparrow: Jen! Been gone too long, indeed. Pirates are so nasty. Now they're going to have to pick up some 409 and bleach so they can sanitize the whole Black Pearl. Thank you for reading, dearie!

June Goddess of Pirates: Love the name. Hehehehe. No matter how sneaky Jack and June are, they will always get caught. Those silly geese.

CharlieBlackNails: Hey, long time no see, buddy! (super awesome handshake) Thanks for the compliments. The DRAMA keeps the story alive, babe! I had to reread too, that's how bad my memory is. Hope to read more soon from you and Rachel…you guys are the funniest writers on fanfiction!

Felicitiousmomento: Uh oh, indeed! And now, even more uh-ohs! Hope you enjoyed the new chappie.

The DuTchess of Doom: Angela, me darling! How are you doing? I was actually rereading Tame the Untamable the other day and laughing. Devon's a riot. I really hope I can bring her back for some later chapters. Hope to read some more updates from you in the near future. You're stuff is great!

Chocola Emo Shizzle: Loving the penname. You and your friend Crystal must be equally insane if you both could make a June Oleander. Haha…that would be awesome. Thanks for reviewing!

Jess-the-complete-loon: Hehehe, I would love to review my own story and leave weird messages, but then again I think it would freak people out. I know you meant update, dearie. And I did! So it all worked out in the end, aye?

Priestess of Shadows: Aw, thanks! You're the nicest pirate in the Caribbean! (hugs) Hope you liked the new chapter. I really appreciate the review.

BrendaC: Of course I remember you! (laughs) How's it going? I'm sad to hear that your computer has been down. It sucks to be without a computer. Technology these days…hope you liked the Will/Ana action this time around. Thanks for the review!

Aradia-rising: Aw, I'm sorry to hear that you've gone through similar things Ana has. Is it the heartbreak? Oh dear. Our broken hearts shall mend, dearie! I'm glad I added more Will/Ana if that's what you read for! I shall keep that in mind and try not to neglect their growing relationship.

Marta: Yay updates! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. A lot of people don't take the time to review, and I always love to hear what you think! You get a cyber pirate hat! Yippee! (hands you tricorne hat of JUSTICE)

If I left anyone out, my deepest apologies. Thank you all!


	23. The Misshapen Rose

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything of Disney's.

**A/N: **Thank you all for the wonderful, exquisite, absolutely delightful reviews! Acknowledgements to them will be at the end of the chapter, like always.

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Jack clenched his teeth and curled a hand around her nape, painfully fisting some of her wet black locks, "Why don't you tell ol' Jack where we're going, eh? Because I'm getting mighty impatient."

"You should know," June spat, pressing the dress closer to her shivering body, "Why don't you give me back the fuckin' map you stole from me?"

--------------------------------

Jack's grip on her grew tighter as one hand remained in her hair and the other snaked down to tighten menacingly around her naked waist. "You have no idea what you're talkin' about, luv," he breathed into her ear with barely contained frustration.

"I do," she growled, trying to break free from him while keeping her 'assets' out of sight, "You think I wouldn't know that somethin' was amiss, Jack? For shame…I saw you take it. Right before I seduced you."

With June freely admitting to knowing of his dishonesty and afterwards STILL intimately claiming him, that made his blood boil.

"June…"

"Yes, Jack?" She looked entirely too pleased with herself and the situation.

"I wouldn't look so smug, darling," Jack purred, tracing the curve of her neck with a rough finger, "I still have the one thing you crave in my possession."

"Hand it over, me pirate man," June whispered, tilting her head up to better access his lips, "O' I won't hesitate to make your life a livin' hell."

"Or I could just lock you in the brig," he stated with a triumphant grin.

Annoyance flashed through her eyes. "You wouldn't."

"Ohhh, I am sorely tempted…"

"ENOUGH!" a voice suddenly bellowed, "I demand we head back to Port Royal this very instant!"

Knowing that the gig was up and that he couldn't hide his attraction towards June any longer, Jack looked like he absolutely, positively wanted to _die_.

June held her breath, a blush suddenly creeping along her cheeks as she fought to hide her nude form behind the poofy dress.

After June shot him a dirty look, Jack put on the biggest, most innocent smile he could muster and spun around awkwardly. "Ah, Mister Turner! Miss Walker! How are ye on this lovely evenin'?"

The fact that June was peeking over Sparrow's shoulder the whole time with a guilty expression on her face made the situation entirely too amusing for Will.

"Jack…why…"

"Captain, lad." Sparrow wagged his finger in Will's face as if he was only a small child, "Remember the Captain."

"Captain…" Will bit out through clenched teeth, "What is this about redirecting the Pearl away from Port Royal?"

Oh gawds. June fought the urge to smack herself in the forehead. They had overheard their ENTIRE conversation! Fuck. They were done for. Jack would kill her. He wouldn't have anything to do with her anymore.

…unless she made good on her promise to make his life a living hell. And June decided that her revenge would start that very instant.

"Jaaaaaaaack!" June whined loudly, gripping his shoulder so that he'd turn around to face her, "I'm tired from all the sweet, passionate love ye made to me. Can you just give me the map and I'll be on me way…"

Jack pursed his lips, his face growing redder by the second. In exasperation, he turned around to Will and Ana, who were staring at him in disgust.

"No! It's not what you think! She's lyin'! Every word!" he replied frantically, his hands balling into fists, "I would never…"

"Jaaaaack, just let me go change. I'm so cold and naked!" June complained dramatically. She was just about to get up and leave when footsteps were heard coming from below.

Suddenly, the whole crew began making its way on deck, yawning all the while until their eyes rested on the confrontation in front of them.

Mister Gibbs stumbled in front of them all and made the sign of the cross. "Oh glorious Lord…" he whispered.

The rest of the men couldn't take their eyes off of June for the life of them.

And Jack was standing there, glaring at each one of them until they diverted their eyes.

"So it IS true," Gibbs cried, "Jack…you lied to me about…"

Jack shrugged it off, waving his hands about, "My dishonesty is not what should appall you, Joshamee. It's sinkin' so low as to sleepin' wit' that devil siren that should appall and shock you. Savvy?"

"Devil siren!" June sputtered from behind Jack, "I think not! I am _not_ a devil siren!" Sniffing, she stood up and began heading towards her quarters. "Glad to know that you're so ashamed of the beautiful moments we shared together, _Jack Sparrow_."

Everyone's mouth dropped as they watched her walk off with her dress clutched to her front, leaving her elegant back down to her curvy behind exposed for the world to see.

As soon as she disappeared, Jack could feel sexual frustration oozing from his crewmembers. He groaned and said tiredly, "You better stop thinkin' what you're thinkin', men. She's more trouble than she's worth. Honestly."

-----------------------------------

"Jack."

"Will." Jack fiddled with his empty rum bottle before letting it roll away from him.

"Anastasia and I need to go home."

"I can't do that, mate."

"And why the hell not?" Will questioned angrily. He sank back into his chair in the galley, watching the stormy winds rage outside of the thick windowpanes.

Jack played with a braid in his goatee, chewing the tip thoughtfully as he placed his boots up on the table in comfort. "Because I have recently found myself unexplainably, undeniably and successfully placed in a race against time."

Will shook his head in confusion. "I don't understand what you mean."

"This," Jack pulled a worn piece of parchment from the back of his trousers, "Is a treasure map. Highly valuable. Oleander doesn't have a damn clue what it means and she's had it on her person all this time."

"What _does_ it mean?" Will asked with a narrowing of his eyes, leaning over to study the dirty map. It was in Latin, that was obvious. And the markings were for Barcelona. "Jack, that's half of the map."

"Yes…so why do ye think we're headin' to Barcelona?" Sparrow smirked, staring at him with a lazy expression.

"To get the other half."

"You're not makin' any sense at all," Jack grumbled, standing up and placing his finger at the corner of the paper. "See that symbol? That's the symbol of pirate lass Mary Read."

As Will concentrated more on the corner, he could almost make out a misshapen rose. "Mary Read? She had a treasure map?"

"She had the treasure. She kept all the loot she collected from being a part of Captain Calico Rackham's crew. They were a successful lot."

"And then she created a map."

"She must have feared that the men would become discriminatory towards her fairer sex and snatch her just rewards from her. Her companion, Anne Bonny, helped her hide it right before they were taken prisoner by pirate hunter Captain Barnet."

"And how did the map escape her possession?"

"No one really knows, boy. Many believe Read gave birth in her cell, and she gave it to a well-bred soldier who helped make her comfortable before her death."

They sat in silence for a while until Will said slowly, "June's going to want it back."

"I know." Jack grinned. "Keepin' it from her is half the fun."

"Anastasia will still want to go home. I hope you realize that."

"Look at it this way," Jack swaggered towards him and patted him on the back, "This will give you more time to woo your strumpet, aye?"

"One, Miss Walker is NOT a strumpet, and two, I am not planning on wooing her, Jack."

Jack realized he had hit a nerve there and his grin widened. "I think your dishonesty is catching up wit' you."

Will chose not to argue. Instead, he wished to retaliate. "Just like sneaking around with June is starting to catch up with _you_?"

Jack's sneer was instantly wiped off of his face and his voice carried a more serious tone. "Don't mistake my attraction for fondness, Mister Turner. Every man has his needs."

"But Jack, she likes you. Can't you tell?"

"My intuitive sense of the female creature has convinced me of that. Unfortunately, Miss Oleander will not find her affections to be returned in the same sentiment."

Will's eyes flashed irritation and regret. "I know you're planning something, Jack. What is it?"

Captain Jack Sparrow turned and rested his hands on the sill, staring out at the open waters. "Don't concern yourself with it, lad. Let's just say she will be freed and cured of such affections the instant we reach land, savvy?"

------------------------------

Hope you liked it! I took the history of Mary Read and tweaked it a little, obviously. Please review, you wonderful reviewers, you!

Now the delicious answering of Chapter 22 reviews:

**HidexThexRum: **Thank you so much. Eeek! I hope you like the new Mary Read twist!

**Kait: **Thank you for the compliments, luv. I totally know what you mean! I would act like a silly swooning goose if I was around someone resembling Mister Turner or a certain delectable Captain…

**Remember How I Used To Be: **Haha, you woke up your parents by laughing? That's awesome! Next time, you have to be sneaky like a pirate ninja.

**Pirate Gyrl: **Hello, my dear! Haha…I definitely wouldn't like to know what pirates had back then...and the second movie did tell us that Captain Sparrow lacks spectacular personal hygiene. (sigh of sadness) Maybe we gals could reform him and make him take a bath at LEAST once a week? Thank you so much for your kind words, and I cannot wait to see you be rid of your dreadful writer's block and dazzle us with a brilliant chapter!

**paineAPPLE: **Yay! (bows in appreciation) I am honored to be placed on your favorite author's list, luv! Your review made me smile, and thank you for following their adventures so closely. : ) I hope this chapter did not disappoint. Your killer cycle of falling over and laughing sounds like oodles of fun! Oodles of noodles of fun! I look forward to hearing from you again!

**Jackie Rogers: **I would love to read your new fic! Just let me know the title and I will definitely give it a read. Good luck on your chapters and if you need any help, let me know.

**Devivoododoll: **Devi, you are so nice! (fanfic hug) Thank you so much for your wonderful review, and I will always appreciate your critiques and comments. I will definitely be checking up on the fanfic you have!

**xxRunningAwayxx: **Sorry that it took a little more of a week to update. (sheepish grin) I'm so glad the characters are believable…because what's a story with silly, unrealistic characters? Fooey, that's what.

**CaptainDuckula: **Aw, I'm so happy you took a quote! That was a pretty delicious one. Gave me a couple hotflashes, it did. Yeah, you go right ahead and smack some sense into our dear William. He sure needs it.

**Ami: **I was so amazed when I got this review…probably one of the most thorough reviews I have ever received. Thank you so much…it really means a lot to me as the writer to get something as nice as this. Haha, sometimes I picture June as Jack, too. They are so silly together. I find it funny that they are so alike and yet Jack doesn't have a friggin' clue what a match made in heaven they are. I totally respect you being a Will Turner woman, and I will definitely try to sneak in as many delicious Will Turner scenes for you as possible. : ) Thanks again, you wonderful fanfic pirate, you!

**BluWine: **Hello! I totally understand and I definitely didn't take it the wrong way. Sometimes it's hard to rip yourself away from the character drama and focus on the hardcore plotline. Hope this chapter was a step in the right direction. Thanks for the critique!

**Jeni Star: **Thanks! I'm happy you liked the ending, and I hope you liked this chapter as well!

**Wanderer of the Roads: **I'm glad you like June so much! She's my favorite, too. : ) I love hearing from you, dearie.

**Rock Candy Love: **Hey Courtney! Thanks for the wonderful review. Jack and June are definitely going to keep getting on each other's nerves…

**BrendaC: **There are just too many hormones flying around on the Pearl. Hope your writing is going splendidly, luv!

**Danfan99: **Thank you so much for the nice review, Katie! I hope this chapter was up to standard…a lot's going to be happening these next couple of updates. Huzzah!

**Priestess of Shadows: **Anastasia does have a sneaky way about her, that's for sure! I'm glad my updates are helping fill your summer…me writing them certainly helps fill my summer!

**Chocola** **Emo Shizzle: **I wonder if Jack is fond of cats…

**Lady Anarane: **Unfortunately, Captain Sparrow missed his 8 o' clock dentist appt. because he was previously engaged…the rum is gone, too. Thank you so much for the wonderful gifts, luv! Really, thank you!

**Arein: **Haha, you are such a unique reviewing individual. Poor William needs to get his knickers untwisted and realize that Ana is perfect for his grieving self! You should be the person to do it! Kick the crap out of him!

**Sentinel Sparrow: **Hey Jen! Oooh, hot bubble baths! That sounds like fun! What if you read a fanfic update IN a hot bubble bath? Double the fun…yet I don't think your computer would appreciate it very much…

**Leanan** **Sidhe:** Oh boy. You said someone else other than Vicki could possibly be paired with Will? (throws self behind a large rock) Matay! Matay! June, I suppose, had the whole birthday suit thing coming to her. I certainly wouldn't argue if Mister Sparrow was doing that to me! (winks) Devon and Regan will definitely be making a comeback in the sequel. They are important, cool superheroine characters! Norrington looks pretty good all unshaven and rugged…I will agree with you on that.

**Aradia-rising: **Anastasia sure is her own woman…she's maturing into the person she's comfortable being. Will will realize (snickers…Will will!) his silly ways.

**Turn-my-black-roses-red: **Thank you so much for reading, dearie! I'm sorry if I took a little longer than forever to finish this chappie. (cringes) Oh gawds, is this going to ignite another streak of stalking?

**Siren's Voice: **Sque! I'm glad you like it! I'm reading a romance novel now about a guy from space meeting this woman, and he calls her "Squee". A little weird, I know.

**Katie: **Pirate sheets! Heck yes! I wish you luck in college, my pirate buddy!

**To anyone else I have accidentally forgotten, thank you so much!**


	24. RESPECT

A/N: There will be many delicious developments to come, my dearies. I want to thank the reviewers of Chapter 23: **BrendaC, Wander of the Roads, JacksFoxyLass, Pirate Gyrl, Padme4000, Katie, Andthentheymademetheirchief, Arein, Sentinel Sparrow, Kait, sparrow's strumpet, SittinOnACornflake, The DuTchess of Doom, senatorsarah, Lady Anarane, felicitousmomento, Deathly Nightshade, and AlterEgox5**. If I missed anyone, I apologize and you are the best! Thanks for reviewing and telling me what you think. It is greatly appreciated.

* * *

Ana picked up her brush from the modest nightstand and ran it through her golden tangles. The simple strokes of the brush always seemed to calm her when her thoughts ran awry. Tonight was no exception when it came to inner confusion and turmoil.

First of all…_Jack and June?_ When did such a union manage to take place? June was always an incorrigible tease, but Anastasia never thought Jack would consent…

And Mister Turner for that matter! He bloody kissed her back! Rather expertly, she might add. In the back of her mind, a tiny voice accused her of acting like a harlot, but she shushed it right up. Why not take action when the poor fool was afraid to? She gave him more than enough encouragement, but he never managed to take the bait.

Until now.

Oh yes, Anastasia Walker was becoming an excellent fisherman! Er, fisherwoman.

As if on cue, there was a rapping at her door. Before she could offer a meek reply, the door swung open to reveal a rather flustered William.

Almost dropping her brush, Ana remarked dryly, "You have already seen me in my nightshirt once before. I suppose I need not work to protect my decency anymore?" She swiveled in her chair to face him.

"Jack is not turning the Pearl around," Will informed her, sitting without invitation onto her squeaky cot.

"Please, make yourself at home," she replied with a raised eyebrow, "And Jack's a damned fool. This is half the result of his greed and his plan to make June raving mad."

"Bugger it, I don't want to hear their names together, let alone reminisce on the scene we witnessed tonight." William couldn't contain his visible shudder.

Letting out a bark of laughter, Ana said, "Amen to that. But we both saw it coming, didn't we?"

He nodded. "I suppose we did." Leaning back against the wall, he added, "I also came here to discuss something else of equal importance…"

The nightshirt slipped and bared a newly-tanned shoulder. Righting it, she frowned. "Out with it, then."

"Anastasia, I find your obvious attempts at flirtation to be a danger to your reputation."

Anastasia let out a bark of laughter. "You cannot be serious, Will!"

The look on his face suggested otherwise.

"What am I doing that is so disgusting to you?" She couldn't believe it. This was not the reaction she was going for!

"Anastasia, please…it is not meant to be insulting."

"How can it NOT sound insulting!" Ana stood up, clearly enraged, "You make me sound like a common whore!"

"Ana, I am just a bit concerned about the way you have been acting towards me. Tonight you kiss me without provocation and you know how I truly feel about you."

"You were the one making innuendoes, Mister Turner!" she shot back, "You mean to tell me that all that nonsense about sleeping in the nude doesn't count towards provocation?"

"You need to stop tempting me, Miss Walker…" Will responded calmly, but his voice seemed to be backed by a barely-contained emotion. Almost anger. A bit of frustration. He stood up so he was inches from her, "You know I am not capable of love, and yet you flaunt your agreeable assets in front of me as if to taunt me."

Anastasia opened her mouth and shut it.

"I am only a man, Anastasia," he ground out at her shocked face, "And I am afraid that I cannot hold back any longer this desire you have ignited in me."

Before she could react, his mouth came crushing down on hers, smothering her in hot, unbridled passion. His tongue sought entrance and she almost collapsed from the heat of his hands.

This wasn't the Will she had come to know…the sweet gentleman. This stranger was a complete scoundrel!

Her back hit something and she realized it was the cot as it whined to accommodate both of their weight. Will was on top of her, mercilessly plunging his hands into her long hair and tilting her head to gain better access of her swollen lips.

"Will…" she gasped, fighting to speak between his fiery kisses.

"Oh God, Anastasia…" he whispered in agony, "I've been without a woman in so long…"

"Will, stop!"

He stilled instantly and stared down at her in bewilderment. She stared back, licking her lips before murmuring brokenly, "Please get off of me."

He did so without delay. He continued to stare as she sat up and said quietly, "You come in to my room and tell me that you're worried about my honor and my reputation…and then you seek to take both from me during the midst of one night."

"Anastasia…" Will said in shame, "That was not my intention…"

After straightening out her nightshirt, she opened the door for him. Without so much as a glance, she said miserably, "I must ask you to leave at once."

He walked out without a word, and Anastasia was left to fight her own demons.

* * *

Meanwhile, June was down in storage looking for a delicious bottle of fine, imported rum and curling her lip at the unsanitary conditions of said storage room.

"Doesn't anyone know how to clean up around here?" June asked in disgust to no one in particular, "They're all pigs, the lot o' them…"

"Includin' me, luv?"

June raised her lantern to find Jack Sparrow leaning against one of the support beams of the Pearl, grinning triumphantly.

"Especially you," she retorted, going back to her search for some strong alcohol. She lifted the lantern to gaze at some small barnacle-looking sea creatures and they instantly sealed up when the light hit them. They could be her pets! She could give them whatever names she pleased…like Mister Barnacles! How original.

"I'll give you the pleasure o' cleanin' up this here storage room if it bothers ye so much," Jack continued, biting one of his fingernails.

Grabbing the nearest bottle, she eased the cork out with her teeth and took a healthy drink from it. "Fine. If ye want me to."

Jack blinked in surprise. "You will? No complaints?"

"Of course. Got to follow orders, don't I?"

"Are you drunk?" Jack questioned, sniffing around her and waving a hand in front of her face, "What's wrong wit' you? Out wit' it!"

"Nothing, my darling! All is right with the world!" she replied with a huge smile plastered on her face and a rather chipper expression.

Jack took off his hat and set it on the nearest shelf. He then grabbed her by the arm and pulled her close. "That's the fakest enthusiasm I have ever witnessed." Regarding her thoughtfully, he placed a suave kiss to the side of her mouth. "Tell ol' Jack what's troublin' you."

She pushed him away in annoyance and said, "Drop it. I don't want to talk about it."

"Is it the map?"

Her black eyes suddenly flashed red and he nodded. "I thought so. Let me handle it, luv."

"Let YOU handle it? It's MY map, in case you haven't noticed!" June cried. Steam was coming out of her ears.

"We're a duo, a duet, a team of two! Two to tango and all that nonsense, aye? I'm taken ye to Barcelona, aren't I? I wouldn't be yellin' at me in such a horrible screechin' frenzy all the time, if I were you." Jack pouted. "You should be appreciatin' me and my brilliance."

"That's the problem, Jack…you don't appreciate _me_!" She stomped around the room, waving her hands about, "And the 'hole crew knows it! You are ashamed o' me!" She finished off the last of the rum and clenched the empty bottle in her hand.

"Can ye blame me?"

The bottle came crashing down atop his head, leaving him unconscious amidst a clutter of broken glass.

"Opps. How did that happen?" she wondered aloud while delivering a soft kick to his side. He didn't stir. Turning him over, she went through his pockets until she extracted the map from his person. Whistling to herself, June stepped over Jack's still form and made her way back upstairs.


	25. Stirring up drama!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything of Disney's! The Mouse makes me feel emo.

A/N: Thank you for the wonderful feedback, people! Responses to reviews will be at the end, as always. Don't you worry…they will be in Barcelona soon enough. And there, their adventure will continue…

* * *

"Gibbs…can I be entirely honest wit' ye?" 

The sigh erupting from Joshamee's lips seemed to reverberate throughout the entire ocean, truly capturing his utter discontent. "If I ignore ye, Miss Oleander, I know ye won't disappear." The old man slipped his hands around the pegs of the helm and seemed to hang his head in surrender.

June slipped an arm through his and leaned on him affectionately. She pursed her lips and studied his hunched frame before adding, "Did I tell you that your sideburns look exceptionally lovely today? I mean, look at 'em!" She stuck out her finger to pet the wirey hairs and he slapped it away. Pouting, she continued, "I need a pirate man that can fill me black heart wit' joy, Gibbs."

Gibbs turned to her, a bit bewildered. "Wasn't it just last night when I caught ye wit' the Captain?"

"Yes!" June rolled her eyes with a groan, "I haven't forgotten that lil' incident. I just realized that Sparrow isn't the right man for me, that's all." The wind was beginning to pick up, and her baggy blouse billowed and whipped around in the sharp gusts, exposing her taut stomach. Gibbs averted his eyes and instead gazed out at the blooming horizon.

"Imagine that," he muttered.

"Would you fill his boots, Gibbsey?" June suddenly asked, her voice taking on an alluring tone, "Come on…you and I…it would be absolutely magical. Fireworks. I can't explain how I feel around your masculine form..."

"Where's the Captain?" Gibbs squeaked nervously as she licked her lips and bent closer to him, her nose almost touching his own.

"He's sleepin' rather soundly at the moment. But if ye see him and he asks for me, tell him I'm nowhere to be found. I'm like a ghost! Boo!"

"Land ho!" someone called out from the crow's nest.

"Damn," June sighed, "It seems as if our passionate moment has yet again been unavoidably interrupted."

Gibbs looked fairly relieved.

"Can't ye help me though wit' me predicament?" June sniffed, her eyes suddenly filling with tears and turning glossy.

"What's troublin' ye about the Captain?" Gibbs questioned to the point of almost shouting.

"Well if you're going to take on that kind o' tone, Gibbsey, I don't think I want to talk about it anymore wit' you," she replied with a wrinkle of her nose. Grabbing her black hat, she played with the large royal purple feather for a few moments before putting it on and spinning on her heel. "It's time to go ashore anyway."

* * *

Barcelona was so rich and exotic…when stepping off of the dock, they were immediately swarmed by street vendors and talkative figures in colorful outfits. A confident gypsy dancer draped in the warmed sunset swirled her skirts as a masked man artistically flitted around her. June stopped to take in the spectacle with a slack jaw. That's what she loved about the _Pearl_. Knowing that they could travel from the gritty, exciting Tortuga to foreign, flashy Barcelona on a whim was like sailing on dreams… 

Anastasia walked up on her left side and said softly, "Jack's looking for you."

"I know."

"I always found flamenco to be so sensual…" and before she could finish her sentence, the dark-haired male dancer swung over by her and grabbed Anastasia's hand, kissing it before twirling her around. The street crowd clapped and threw coins at their feet as Anastasia laughed.

Will Turner grabbed June's shoulder and said from behind, "I need to talk to you." All the while, his eyes remained on Anastasia's fumbling attempts to keep up with the flamenco dancers.

"Why so serious, Mister Turner? Sounds like ye need a drink."

"That wouldn't be such a bad idea. Jack's looking for you, you know."

June psshed him and immediately pointed to a nearby stand. "Ooooohh! I want one o' those!"

Will followed her gaze and realized she was talking about the monkeys hanging in cages. "Jack would kill you. He's had bad experiences with those creatures."

"All the more reason to buy one, don't ye think?" she asked, eyes sparkling. Turning to the vendor, she pointed to the one screeching in the nearest cage, grinning its tiny teeth at her. Handing the man a tiny sack of coins, his eyes almost popped out of his head as he examined her payment. He smiled and mumbled a "gracias" as he opened the cage and the monkey immediately hopped onto her shoulder. "Look at us bonding already! Isn't he just darling?"

"Darling…" Will grumbled as the monkey pointed accusingly in his direction.

"That's what I'll call him…a classy name for a classy animal!" June announced, stroking his tiny head thoughtfully. The monkey seemed to still under her gentle petting.

"How much money did you give the man?" Will questioned in concern, "I didn't even see him name a price."

"It's not me money, Turner."

"JUNE!"

"Ooo…we should go find a place to get a hard drink, fast…" June chuckled nervously before grabbing Will's arm and dragging him along, leaving Ana with the dancers and Jack searching throughout the crowds.

* * *

"So you're saying you raped Miss Walker!" 

"I did not rape her, June," Will said disgustedly, "How many times must I tell you this?" He watched as Darling began to pick up locks of June's hair and attempt to hide in her unruly mane.

"Sounds like near-rape material to me," June shot back with a cocked brow, putting her boots on the table before taking another drink from the mug. Coughing and sputtering, she choked, "I don't know what they're serving us, but it's amazing! It cleans out your insides, it does!"

Will leaned closer to her, almost hovering over the candle on the rickety table. Most patrons in the tavern were hard-looking men and harder-looking women. They heard the constant trill of Spanish being spoken around them as they sat in the far corner.

"What were ye talkin' to her about before ye kissed her?" June said curiously. She watched as Will's ears turned a delightful shade of pastel pink. That was never a good sign.

"We…I was telling her how she was compromising her honor by acting so intimate with me," Will confessed, looking down at the table after taking a gulp of the sour liquid from his cup. He was positively ashamed of his actions. Rightly so!

"What!" June cried, "Are you pullin' me leg o' something?"

He shook his head, not meeting her eyes.

"Will…" June sighed, "That was absolutely the worst possible way to start a conversation. 'Hello, by the way, I think you're a prostitute' doesn't tend to charm the ladies."

"That's not what I meant…I just don't want others to look at her and think ill of…"

"Look at me," she tugged on his strong chin so he met her eyes. "Look at me. I'm damned confident in meself when it comes to the men folk, and I don't care what others think of me when they see me havin' fun. It's liberating. Ana needs to be liberated, me darling."

Darling screeched in acknowledgement. June gazed at her monkey lovingly before cooing, "You go get yerself into some trouble, me love," and set him down on the floor. He immediately scampered away. Peering into her empty mug and sighing, she continued, "Now, it seems that she's finally broken ye." With the glare Will shot her, she replied hastily, "And no offense meant by it. But you've got pirate blood in ye, Turner, whether you like it o' not. I think you're finally actin' on it, too."

Quiet, Will outlined the rim of his cup with his finger.

"I'm sure she would've been more than willin' if it would have been under different circumstances…" June began, but Will cut her off.

"I don't love her."

"Not even a little?"

"June, I took advantage of her, and I feel horrible. I'm just…frustrated."

"…_sexually _frustrated?" June wiggled her eyebrows.

His glare returned and she smiled sheepishly. Just then, the door to the tavern swung open, revealing a flustered Ana and a rather irritated Jack Sparrow. They both began to scan the room. He wanted that map back, she wagered. And probably his coin purse. Well, Jack could kiss his money goodbye.

June suddenly got a devious, wicked idea. Turning to Will, who didn't even notice Jack and Ana's entrance, she stood up and hastily plopped herself in his warm lap. The shocked expression on his face did not waver as he met her lust-filled stare.

"Have I ever told ye that you're quite handsome, Mister Turner?" she breathed, running a nail down the line of exposed chest peering from his bedraggled shirt.

He stilled, murmuring, "What are you doing, June?"

"Ana's innocent, William. I, on the other hand, am not. If you're…frustrated…I could do somethin' to fix that, aye?" she whispered temptingly into his ear. June contained her squeak of surprise when she felt Will's hands plant themselves on her curvy hips. She pulled back a little to meet his gaze yet again. His was flirtatious, almost dangerous.

"June, this isn't wise. I'm sorry…"

"Shhhhh." And with that, she planted her lips on his, gently sucking on his bottom lip as he remained unresponsive. When she slipped her tongue into his luscious mouth and ran her hands through his unruly brown hair, only then did he begin to kiss her back rather enthusiastically.

And if they had both turned around at that precise moment, they would see a young lady on the verge of tears and a pirate ready to kill.

* * *

Don't worry, lovelies! June's just out to teach some people a lesson… 

Reviewer Train! Woo wooooo!

Lisa: Here's your update, darling! I really appreciate it that you've been keeping up with all of my stories...they are all just getting so exciting. I am loving every minute of writing them. Yay POTC 3 countdown! I can't wait. And I believe that "You've Got Mail" is one of my favorite movies. :)

Rainwisher aka Alyx: How are you doing, gal? I hope the tweeks to your story are going well. You are doing such a wonderful job thus far and if you need any help with anything, just let me know!

Jeni Star: Thanks! The endings are always my favorite part too. Always have to leave off with a cliffhanger or something funny, aye? Huzzah!

Wanderer of the Roads: Woot, now steamy stuff between June and Will! Jack always needs to be taken down a peg, doesn't he? And June's just the one to do it! Thanks for reading, luv.

sparrow's strumpet: My dear, all men need a bottle to the head at one time or another. :) Will and Jack will wise up...eventually.

Kait: Will is super naughty! What are we ever going to do with him? In that case...what is JACK going to end up doing with him? Fight fight fight! Thanks for the wonderful review!

MaryReadsRevenge: Hello again! Ooh, the elusive Mary Read...you don't happen to have another half of a pirate map, do you? (suspicious stare) More Will and Ana, coming right up! Oh, and I think your idea for a story is wonderful. Do it! I would definitely have to read something like that. Sounds like an exciting start.

Aradia-rising: Anastasia has super powers for turning down Will's sultry come ons! Thanks for reviewing, lovey!

EriMarie: Thank you so much for the compliment! (hugs) You're so nice. Well, if I ever step out of line and make them unrelatable, you let me know and get me back in line!

Katie: Woohoo updating! I hope you're having fun down there at the ol' college! AVAST!

Senatorsarah: Thank you! You are the nicest senator I have ever met. Most just scare me. Love hearing what you think!

Arein: You are saying what we are all thinking. Will is definitely a moronic boob. And a poopoohead. Take that, William Turner! (Will cries and runs away) Ooh, now I feel kind of bad.

Sentinel Sparrow aka Jen: Wouldn't we all want to smash a bottle on Jack's head...and then kiss it and make it all better? Did I just say that out loud? (covers mouth) He brings out the worst in me...

Deathly Nightshade: Hahaha...I love sea friends! Drinks all around! (walks around and bumps into things because she's blind from staring at the screen) That was a very vivid description...bloody fingers. Ew.

Siren's Voice: Sorry for the shortness of the last chapter, darling! Hopefully they will start to get a bit longer...we're starting to reach the really important adventuring part...as well as starting to take care of the relationship antics...Thank you for your review.

rynn: Drama, indeed. Don't we all love drama? Lots more to come...

felicitousmomento: Will is a good guy...he's just been pushed too far. That silly half-pirate man.

Padme4000: Thank you! Hope this one was just as good as the last!

rawr.baby aka Courtney: Thank you for liking the last chapter! The four of them amuse me so. I hope you liked this chapter as well.

If I missed anyone, know that I appreciate you and your wonderful reviewing skills!


	26. Discovered

Disclaimer: I do not own anything of Disney's.

A/N: Woohoo! I feel so evil! Well, June's evil. I place all the blame on her…thank you **Padme4000, rynn, senatorsarah, Jeni Star, Arein, Wanderer of the Roads, Meesixy, Kait, Lisa, Evey, Sentinel Sparrow, RainWisher, Aradia-rising, MaryReadsRevenge, felicitousmomento, ChirikoFan, plummet, sparrow's strumpet, a-boy-named-sue, BrendaC, Skylark Rose, Leaena Draconis, xQueenxofxHeartsx, lisa, brunette-lady23, CrimsonDreamer19, SparrowsVixon, xMonsterx, pinksharpie, MorgauseNokami, CharlieBlackNails, Princess-Maiden, and Analiria. **Your reviews were delightful, and I felt bad for leaving it at such a horrible cliffhanger. So here you are…Chapter 26.

* * *

If they had both turned around at that precise moment, they would see a young lady on the verge of tears and a pirate ready to kill.

Feeling quite satisfied with the amount of spit swapped between her and the strapping young man, June gently plucked her lips off of Will's. Looking down into his dazed expression, she seemed pretty pleased.

"So?" she pressed.

"I…" Will faltered, licking his lips, "That was nice. But…"

"But…" June coaxed, "Come on…"

"It was nice, June. Trust me. But I did not feel anything of immense value…"

"Ah HA!" June all but yelled, making him jump, "That is exactly what I was goin' for, me boy!" She poked him in the chest accusingly. "It was nice, but dear Ana's kiss was _nicer_."

Will blinked, staring up at her in sudden realization. Embarrassed by being read so easily, he bit out, "June, sometimes you make me want to strangle you…"

"You and everybody else," she sighed, stroking his hair thoughtfully, "You better tell Miss Anastasia how you really feel so she won't keep thinkin' you're an apathetic bastard."

"Yes…an apathetic, brainless bastard."

June and Will untangled each other from themselves and glanced towards the direction of the voice while doing so. If the black spot could be transformed into a stare, Jack was indeed giving Will the black spot. Or gaze herpes. Perhaps watchful syphilis. No matter. Whatever kind of stare it was, he looked positively homicidal.

Smiling pleasantly, June said, "Jack, didn't see ye standin' there all by yer onesies. Where is Miss Walker?"

Sparrow's brown eyes were suddenly hidden by the angsty shadow created by his hat. His voice low, he replied, "She ran off. I don't blame her, after walkin' in and seein' this lil' exhibit…"

"Oh…we were just…discussin' some things…"

"June," Will said sharply through clenched teeth, "That's enough."

"Yes," Jack growled, "I agree. That's most certainly enough." His hand shot out and he grabbed June's arm, de-seating her from Will's lap, "And you'll keep your mouth shut if ye know what's good for you." Turning to Will he said dangerously, "You and I will have a chat, Mister Turner, aye?"

"Aye," Will said, his face hardening. Uh oh, June thought as a slight shiver of anticipation ran up her spine, there was going to be a battle of masculinity! How spicy…

"As for you," the grip on her arm tightened, causing her to wince in pain, "You and I are goin' to have a talk upstairs. Now."

"I have absolutely nothin' to say to you, Jack Sparrow," she said angrily, "What I do is none o' yer business." Struggling in his grasp, she added, "That was yer cue to let go o' me now!"

Will suddenly stood up. "Jack, I do not see why you are so furious. After all, it seems as if she is cured of her affections for you. You no longer have to worry."

June's jaw dropped, and she glanced back and forth at both of the men, who were exchanging lethal stares. "You were TALKING ABOUT ME?! How dare you!" Tightening her fists, she prepared to knock the living daylights out of both of those blasted fools.

"Yes, I no longer have to worry," Jack repeated, looking genuinely betrayed, "But you kissed her back, you lout!"

"This is so childish…" June groaned, staring at the ceiling, "What does it really matter?" Pointing to Jack, she said, "I know ye don't feel anythin' of significant importance, Captain Sparrow. I've come to terms wit' that. I'm just a fun and friendly roll-in-the-hay. So stop actin' like this matters and stop stringin' me along, all right?"

Will Turner knew something had to be done. It couldn't end like this. Not for her. It wasn't fair to June. He realized now that the kiss, as good as it was, was meant to open his eyes. It was meant to open Jack Sparrow's eyes as well, but Jack was less than willing to submit to self-realization. Jack was jealous and wanted her all to himself, but he wasn't about to admit that.

"Jack," Will commented, "Just leave her alone. After all, I'm sure I could treat her better. You won't have to worry about her harassing you anymore."

Jack's face exhibited shock and frustration. Taking off his coat, he said bitterly, "I've treated her just fine. She deserved it most o' the time." Turning to June, he accused, "You stole the object of your friend's attentions, Miss Oleander. Will you be able to live wit' this?"

"Yup. I'm good wit' it," she said, smiling prettily. Latching herself on to Will's arm, she purred, "Now where'd Darling, darling? We really must get going." Will grinned like an infatuated gentleman and kissed her soundly on her neck, lingering a bit longer than what was deemed appropriate.

June never expected him to play along with her antics. Her gaze connected with Sparrow's, and he seemed ready to lunge at them both and run them through with his sword. She almost felt bad…almost.

Sparrow jumped when a small monkey hopped up on June's shoulder, screeching lovingly in her ear. "There you are!" she fussed, "I was gettin' worried!" Turning to Will, she whispered loud enough for Sparrow to hear, "I'll be upstairs, me love, in room 313. And I'll be waiting." With a wink in Will's direction, she then walked confidently past Sparrow without even giving him a second glance, disappearing up the stairs.

Jack looked defeated as he sat down across from Will at the rickety old table. "Why are you doin' this, mate?"

"Why aren't you fighting for her?"

"Because now she's out o' me handsome hair," he pointed out, "Just like ye said. You've made a wonderful point, really." He grew quiet. A little too quiet for his usual self. Before Will could say something, he continued, "She's annoyin', lad. Exceedingly annoyin'. And troublesome. She's played at least fifty pranks on the likes o' me thus far. And she always wants to be at the helm…it's tiring."

"Jack…"

"…and she's always tryin' to ravish me! The crew's afraid o' her. Gibbs thinks she worships Satan himself…"

"Jack…"

"…and she wakes me up in the mornin' by singing while she bathes. Her voice can scare away young children, it can. And she's dishonest. Well, so am I, but that's not the point here. Where was I? Oh yes. She sets things on fire, and steals me money, which I'm guessin' she spent on that ridiculous, mangy primate…"

"_Jack_…"

"…and she's beautiful, mate." Jack grew silent.

Will stared at him, at a loss for words.

"She's…different. It takes some gettin' used to." Jack motioned for the bar wench and ordered a large mug of rum. When the young woman went to retrieve said drink, he continued, "I'm used to a passing fancy decoratin' me arm without fuss. Like I said, she's dishonest. So am I. Findin' this treasure is important to me, mate. I can't trust her, vice versa. Who knows what the greed will do to us both?"

"Jack, I want you to know that this was all staged by June herself."

"What are you sayin', lad?"

"When she kissed me, she got me to realize that Anastasia means more to me than I comprehended at first. She was just being a friend."

"Have fun explainin' that one to Ana." Jack nodded in appreciation at the bar wench and downed the whole drink.

"I better go find Anastasia." Will glanced at him as he stood, adjusting his coat, "No hard feelings, then?"

Jack grinned toothily. "Nah. If you passed up Miss Oleander's advances, that would only confirm me suspicions of your eunuch ways."

Nodding after sending him a slightly irritated look, William was out the door.

_I'll be upstairs, me love, in room 313. _"313," Jack muttered, throwing a few loose shillings he found in his pocket down on the table. He wanted her to wait up there alone, just to teach her a lesson for messing with his head. He wanted her to expect his arrival all night. He wanted to be cruel after making him spill a little bit of his emotions to Mister Turner. Seeing June and Will together had confused him and angered him to a level he couldn't understand. Why did he care so? Why did he care where Oleander put her supple, inviting mouth?

As he thought about this, he didn't even notice that he was swaggering up the stairs. _He wasn't getting soft, dammit! _Putting his hand on the doorknob of 313, he turned it and walked into the darkness, his eyes rapidly adjusting.

"What are ye doing here, Sparrow?" he heard a female voice ask haughtily, "I thought you'd get it. Yer out o' the picture, savvy? GONE! ERASED!"

"Surely you don't mean that, luv," he replied with a grin, sitting down next to her on the mattress. She smelled like heaven…like sweat and femininity and spices.

"I hate you, Jack," she murmured brokenly, her words bleeding together, "I do." She grabbed the near empty bottle of alcohol rolling around on the bed and attempted to suck the last drops from it.

_Ah, so that's where she got that sultry slur from._

Raising his eyebrows at the sudden faintness of her voice, he remarked, "Surely you don't mean that either." She swung the bottle at him and he dodged it in the nick of time.

Hesitantly, he placed a finger under her chin and raised it in order to get a better view of her face.

"No more games, June," he whispered huskily, "No more going off and making me jealous." He kissed her then, and she melted under the heated pressure of his mouth, the familiar grasp of his callused hands, the slight tickle of his goatee…

Breaking away, she slurred with a wicked smile, "Right when the doorknob turned, I _knew_ it was you."

* * *

Will didn't have to venture far…he found Ana sitting on the steps outside of the tavern fighting to ignore the drunk viciously vomiting a few feet away from her. Walking around to face her, he realized she wasn't crying anymore. She stared blankly ahead of her as if suffering from shock.

"Anastasia…" Will pleaded gently, "It isn't what it looked like. Honest."

She looked up at him with hatred. "So you just fell on her face, then? Perfect. What a great opportunity for you to stick your tongue down her throat."

"No, I mean yes, I…"

"What the hell are you trying to say, Will?" Ana exploded uncharacteristically.

He flinched a little and quelled the unmanly desire to run far, far away. "When June kissed me…"

"You know what, William?" she said calmly, "I'm done with this. I try so hard to be there for you and what do I get for my trouble? I get called names, I get hurt, and my pride is cast to the side. Then you go after another woman. I'm done with _you_."

"Dammit, Ana! Will you listen to me for one minute?!"

"Where's Jack? I want to speak with him this very instant."

Will stared at her. "About what?"

"About our course of action. The other half of the map isn't going to find itself, you know. I think we all ended up as key players in this adventure of sorts, and I'm not going to back out now just because of some trivial matter."

"Jack's upstairs in room 313. Though I wouldn't go up there right now if I were you."

"He took her back ALREADY?" Ana cried, throwing her hands up in the air, "How perfect. I shouldn't even be surprised."

"Please, Anastasia, I wanted to let you know that I really care for you." He took her hands in his before she could inch away from him. "And what June did was just a way to open my eyes about how much I adore you."

Her eyes widened slightly, yet her mouth remained grimly set. "By kissing you?"

"After she kissed me, she wanted me to think about kissing you instead. She made me realize how much I want to be with you." He pressed a chaste kiss to her palm. "Only you."

"You son of a bitch," she sighed, turning twice as angry. "HOW am I supposed to stay mad at you? HOW?"

"I'm sorry you had to witness that," he whispered, pulling her close, "I never meant to upset you."

Before he could even attempt to kiss her, they heard footsteps draw closer to them. Before they could even turn to see who it was, Ana was ripped away from Will with outstanding force.

Two grimy men in about their late twenties had her struggling in their grasp, their pistols shoved in her lower back. Ana was so shocked, every breath she drew felt strained.

"Fredrick an' I couldn't help but overhear yer disgustin' conversation," the red-headed one sneered, "But we seems to 'ave heard something of interest."

"What's this about a map?" 'Fredrick' questioned, clutching Ana harshly by her delicate throat.

"Hand it over," the other growled, "Or the gel's dead."

Ana glanced to Will in panic, almost choking in the stranger's hold.

"We don't have it," Will said quickly, "But we know who does. It's in room 313…go now and leave her be!"

"No way," Frederick said slyly, "She's comin' wit' us. Because if you happen to be lyin', she'll get what she deserves, alright?" As the men began moving forward with Ana, Will began to follow. Spinning around, he spat, "You stay here" and pointed to the ground.

Will could only watch as his beloved was carried away by thieves.

* * *

The severe pounding on their door startled them out of their lusty games.

"This room's taken…" Jack half-shouted, half-murmured as he cupped June's buttocks and pulled her closer, feasting on her mouth once again.

When the doorknob began to jiggle impatiently, Jack snarled in frustration. Pressing a quick kiss to the side of her throat, he threw her his shirt to slip on as he checked his pistol for shot.

"Just tell them we're very busy, darling," June said sleepily, pulling the shirt over her head, "And that it can wait."

Jack grumbled to himself as he crossed the room, unlocked the door, and continued to open it…

* * *

Haha! Another evil chapter. Please tell me what you think! I'd love to hear it. 


	27. Pain and Old Acquaintances

Disclaimer: I don't own any of Disney's valuable ideas or characters.

A/N: A big thank you to the reviewers of Chapter 26: **SparrowsVixon, Evil Duckie of the BlackLagoon, brunette-lady23, Padme4000, Jeni Star, felicitousmomento, ChirikoFan, Deathly Nightshade, Vixter, luvlylena, Anastasia walker (hey!), Vanilla Sunset in the Sky, CaptainDuckula, orlyluv, BrendaC, Kait, sparrow's strumpet, Princess-Maiden, Jack Sparrow's Pirate Chick, Pirate Gyrl, CharlieBlackNails, and MorgauseNokami. **I appreciate all the familiar faces and to the new reviewers, welcome! All of you rock! Thanks for the feedback…it tickles my tummy.

Enjoy Chapter 27, everyone!

-PineAppleLint

* * *

Jack grumbled to himself as he crossed the room, unlocked the door, and continued to open it…

The door was immediately kicked open, knocking him to the ground with excruciating force. Jack's head connected with the wooden floor, leaving him dazed as he watched two strange, unclean men enter with a terrified Anastasia in tow.

"If anyone tries anythin' funny, they're gettin' their head blown off," the taller one growled, pointing his pistol at Sparrow.

Sparrow raised his arms, signaling his obedience. "To who do we owe the pleasure of such an unexpected visit, gentlemen?" Jack asked, trying to ease the intensity of the situation with his usual charms.

Jack not wearing any pants only made matters more unusual.

Ana focused her gaze to the floor, her bottom lip trembling from nervousness.

"The name's Scott, and this here's my accomplice Frederick." Scott glanced to Frederick, who bowed mockingly. He then made sure everyone was aware of the pistol held under Ana's jaw by harshly pushing it into her flesh.

Ana let out a strangled gasp for air.

June placed her hands on her hips and said in disappointment, "Really, gents. This is no way to treat friends."

Scott and Frederick diverted their full attention to June--hair mussed, lips swollen, her lithe form drowned in a huge white shirt with frilly cuffs. The two strangers stared at her naked legs as June sighed.

"June, don't do anythin' stupid," Jack hissed.

Scott kept his pistol pointed in Jack's direction, but grinned at June. "Will you be makin' the deal with us tonight, darlin'?"

"Depends," June said, looking extremely bored, "What's the deal?"

"Everyone in this room gets to live if you hand on over the map," Frederick said, "Including blondie here."

"That's MY map," June pouted.

"June!" Jack growled, "Be reasonable. I'd rather _not die_."

"Alright. Fine," June rolled her eyes, "It's in me coat. The one on the floor over there." She pointed to the balled-up heap next to the bed.

Frederick dragged Anastasia over to the coat and ordered her to rifle around the pockets. Hands shaking, she grabbed the map from the back pocket and handed it to him.

Examining it, Frederick smiled. "Got it, Scott." He pushed Ana in June's direction.

June threw an arm around the emotionally-wrecked woman and asked, "Is that all?"

"Perhaps." Scott stepped up to June, sizing her up. "Maybe we want some company tonight. You and your friend should come wit' us to celebrate our victory."

Ana stared at June in horror as Jack cursed wildly in his corner.

"Well, I don't think we can arrange that, mate," June replied.

"And why the fuck not?" Scott questioned angrily, "You're held at gunpoint!"

"You boys smell. Real. Bad. Really. Come on, don't you bathe? Or use a bit of lavender to pretty up your oily armpits?"

Both men suddenly ganged up on June, crowding her. Anastasia felt June calmly nudge her away from the attention, gently pushing her to the other side of the bed.

June stepped over to the left and the men followed her.

"Wrong thing to say, bitch," Scott said with a hacking laugh, "I said everyone gets to live, but I didn't say we wouldn't fuck your pretty brains out. So we'll bend you over whether you like it or not."

Anastasia finally realized why June was retaliating under the dire circumstances. She caught sight of Will peering through the doorway, holding up a pistol. June was trying to get the men within Will's range.

As Will stepped into the room, the floorboards creaked.

_Everything_ suddenly happened at once.

Both men turned around and found Will aiming at them. A shot was fired and Frederick went down, bleeding from his head. Ana screamed as she was covered in a spray of his blood.

June tried to get away from the second man, Scott, but he grabbed a hold of her wrist.

She felt the pain in her abdomen before she even saw what had happened.

A second shot rang out and Scott hit the floor as well. Both intruders were dead.

As celebratory cheers rang out in the room, June could only stare down at her torso in disbelief.

"What a great shot!" Jack cried, clapping Will on the back, "That was a manly display just now, Turner!"

"You got here just in time, Will," Anastasia said breathlessly, "Thank you so much…"

"Uhhh…Ana…"

All three glanced up at a pale June and immediately noticed the blood blooming on her shirt, right over her stomach.

"Fuck," June finished, and sank to the floor.

"Dear God," Will whispered and rushed to her side. Ana followed, horrified.

Jack stood there in shock.

"No no no no…this can't happen," Ana chanted, ripping open June's shirt. Buttons flew off and pitter-pattered onto the ground. And there it was…the nasty stab wound.

Will gathered some sheets and began ripping them. "We have to stop the bleeding."

Tears fell down Ana's cheeks as she watched the rivulets of blood cascade down June's hips and onto the floor. "June…"

"I've been stabbed," June replied dizzily, sitting in a frozen position.

"I know, June. We're helping. We'll get you help," Ana reassured her, holding her hand.

"I'm naked," June said, staring down at herself.

Jack looked up from hurriedly pulling on the rest of his clothing. "Hasn't been the first time I've seen it," Jack said cheerily, trying to lighten the mood. His grin didn't reach his eyes.

"Stop bein' a sick fuck. I've been stabbed," June complained in a moan.

"Jack, stop upsetting her," Ana added, glaring at him. Turning back to June, she said, "Don't talk. Just lie still."

Will emerged with strips of sheet and began carefully arranging them around her torso. Every time one pressed against the wound, June would curse up a storm.

Jack finally walked over to them and crouched over June, placing a chaste kiss to June's clammy forehead.

"You've got blood on you," June said sleepily, pointing to Ana, "I feel odd."

_That's because you're dying_, Jack thought, panic rising in his throat. _She couldn't. Not because of those two bastards. Their quest wasn't even halfway over. And perhaps...I feel…no. No, I don't. Crazy talk. _

"We've got to get her some pants or something," Jack muttered.

"You like it and you know it," June replied with a little half-smile. Her eyes looked glazed. Unseeing.

"We've got to get her on the bed," Will ordered. Anastasia nodded in terrified agreement.

"I'll get the top half, you grab her legs," Jack replied sternly, "Keep her as straight as possible."

As soon as the men heaved her up, June whimpered in pain.

"It feels like someone keeps scraping my flesh off, over and over," she whispered as they laid her out on the mattress. Anastasia grabbed the discarded breeches and began moving them up June's legs.

"I'm goin' to die, right?" June asked, breaking out in a sweat. Her bandages were soaking through.

"We have to find a doctor," Anastasia said calmly as she buttoned the last button of June's breeches, "At once."

"That would waste too much time," Will whispered. "We have to stay here and do whatever we can. She wouldn't last long if we left her."

Jack shoved Will against the wall and whispered furiously, "Don't you talk like that, damn you. I'll stay wit' her. You both go. NOW. And hurry."

Anastasia and Will nodded before rushing out the door.

Jack began tearing up more of the bed sheets, trying to keep busy, trying not to think. June suddenly reached out a hand towards him. He hesitantly took it, lacing his fingers within hers.

"Sit," she demanded.

He did so, the slight rocking of the mattress causing her to wince.

"Jack," she said gently, "I want to finish lookin' for the map."

"Don't talk about that now," he replied, his voice distant.

"Why are you so scared?" she questioned softly.

"I'm not."

"You won't even look at me."

"I am." He turned his head and made eye contact with her. Fearless June. She looked so different now, face pale and sweaty. Like she was shrinking away. Like her _life _was shrinking away.

"I'll fight until the very end, you know that," June said with a pained smile.

"June. Stop." Jack shook his head.

"Are you in love with me, Jack?"

Jack turned his head away from her again.

"It's quite alright if you don't. I just decided that I have to check every so often from now on," she continued. "In case I get stabbed or something like that. I'd like to know."

"June…" Jack began, "I'm very fond of you…"

"It's alright. I know how you are," June said with a grin. "It will just take some hard work on my part to get you to change your mind."

"Your accent's just about gone," Jack stated in realization. It was peculiar to hear June out of her element.

"Right now, I don't have the strength to keep up the façade, Captain."

"I don't believe for one moment that it's a façade. I can't imagine you all prettied up at tea parties, luv," Jack grinned. "I can see you adding hard liquor to that tea and dancin' on the tables in your skivvies."

"Well then, you can join me next time I visit my father's estate," June replied, fisting her one hand in the remaining sheets. The other was grasped tightly in Jack's.

"Does it hurt, luv?"

"Yes. But I've had better."

"Do tell, dearie," he pressed, rubbing his thumb over her clammy palm.

"It took place during a game involving a lover, some rope and the helm," she said delightedly.

Laughing, he leaned over and covered her lips with his. It was a soft kiss, no pressure. It tasted like sweet copper. When he pulled back, he realized a bit of blood was trickling from her mouth.

"I hope they hurry," she whispered.

* * *

A half hour later, June was struggling to stay conscious. Jack kept her from talking as he shared small stories from his past. Every once in a while, he'd raise a glass of water to her lips and arrange more bandages around her waist.

The door slammed open, and an exhausted Ana ran in.

"Did you find a doctor?" Jack asked hopefully.

"One better," Will answered, filing in behind Ana. "We found the British Royal Navy."

Soldiers stormed the room as Jack watched on in disbelief. Could this get any worse?

The soldiers parted and in walked an old acquaintance. One that Jack never thought he'd see again.

"Bugger," Jack breathed in irritation.

"Captain Sparrow," Norrington nodded, tugging on his navy blue frock coat. His feathery tricorne hat bobbed with the jerk of his head.

"Commodore," Jack squeezed through clenched teeth, "I'd be lying if I said it was a pleasure to see you again."

Norrington smirked, accompanying the gesture with a masculine snort. "I believe you have a wounded woman in your possession. Would you rather she die or should I go ahead and examine her?"

Jack chose to ignore that pompous arrogance he loathed so much and stepped aside.

June lifted her head a little and stared on in confusion. "James?" she murmured. "James, is that you?"

She fainted.

* * *

Lots of action! I hope it wasn't too confusing. Please review! 


	28. SHE LIVES!

Disclaimer: If POTC was a musical, I'd want Jack to sing "Over the Rainbow". Not sure why. His humorous falsetto would be quite awesome. But I don't own POTC, or Jerry Bruckheimer, or a beating heart from Davy Jones. I do own a plastic sword, though. That has to count for something.

A/N: Hello, luvlies! I've decided to lose that evil streak for a bit and give you an update quite sooner than anticipated. I know- I've been horrible at keeping a regular updating pace. Classes can do that to a gal. I hope everyone is enjoying their delightful Spring season, and I hope you enjoy Chapter 28 even more!

With all the pineappley lint in the world,

PineAppleLint

* * *

It had been _hours_. Captain Sparrow had long since abandoned any thought about keeping still. He paced up and down the narrow corridor in his long-stepped swagger, keeping his gaze connected to the floorboards as if counting them. He paid no attention to the Commodore, who sat comfortably in a chair perched next to the door. Norrington had long since loosened his white cravat and unbuttoned his cufflinks. He appeared more relaxed, with his toned frame slouched and his wigged head resting against the wall. Every once in a while, he'd open his eyes and watch Jack in amusement.

"How long are you going to continue your sorry habit of wearing ruts into the woodwork?" Norrington asked in a bored manner.

"As long as I'd like, _Norrington_," Jack replied icily, breaking his stride to stare pointedly at the Commodore, "What, are you goin' to try to stop me? Not like you could, really. You've tried to stop me before and failed miserably."

Norrington closed his eyes once more, not wanting Jack to see the irritation in them. "You are tired and upset, Sparrow. And you are taking all your frustrations out on me. Find someone else to annoy, because I am not taking the bait."

Instead of hearing Jack start pacing all over again, he heard the unmistakable sound of wood scraping against wood. Opening his eyes, he found Jack pulling up another chair right next to him.

"When will they be finished?" Jack questioned calmly.

"I am not the doctor, so I do not know." Silence surrounded them as Jack twiddled his dirty, ring-clad thumbs.

Finally, Jack bit out, "How do you know June?"

"Ah." Norrington smirked. "The question finally arises. I wondered how long it would take for curiosity to get the best of you."

Jack fluttered his hands about, signaling for the man to get on with it.

"Our fathers were friends," Norrington continued, tugging on his cravat to loosen it further. "Miss Oleander and I were childhood playmates."

"Did you spend time wit' her before she disappeared?"

"Yes. She was very charming, a kindred spirit, if you will. She grew into quite the sophisticated young lady." He added, smiling, "Despite being very outspoken and unreserved, she managed to win the hearts of all the elites in Port Royal."

"I cannot tell you, mate, exactly how much hell she's given me these past few months."

Norrington grinned at this. "I am sure you deserved it, Sparrow."

Glaring at him, Jack continued, "So any notable stories of Miss Oleander's past that I need to indulge in? What is this about a kindred spirit?"

Norrington uncharacteristically began sharing stories from his youth, and all the stories included June. It began with them playing pranks on each other as children, to an irreplaceable friendship as they grew in their years. When June was about seventeen years old, she tackled a thief in the middle of the Port Royal marketplace in order to save an old man's finest silverware. It had been a flurry of arms, feet, and lacey petticoats, Norrington said. She had also been fond of taking care of her father's small boats, and once in a while, she and Norrington would steal them out onto the water.

When Norrington felt like he shared enough, he sank back into his chair and sighed. "We all thought she had passed, since she never returned. It is a real shock to find her alive, let me tell you. Perhaps even more of a shock to find her throwing in her lot with you."

Jack said with a boyish smile, "The women can't resist me, mate."

"I figured such, considered you being on a first name basis with her."

"Really, Commodore. Just because I call her by her first name doesn't mean I'm…" he paused, looking for the right word, "…corrupting her innocence. It had been corrupted long before I ever came into the picture."

"It's not only that you call her by her first name, you twit," Norrington snapped, offended by being seen as hopelessly naïve at such an age. "It is _how _you say it. It sounds intimate. I'm not sure I like it."

Jack shifted in his chair, suddenly uncomfortable by the Commodore's scrutiny. He decided to change the subject. "What are you boys doin' in Barcelona?"

Norrington decided to ignore his demeaning 'boys' comment and just answer. Leaning in close to Jack, he replied, "We were looking for you and your crew."

_Dammit. _He knew this would happen, that he would have to pay a price for June's safety and well-being. Ana and Will led the whole Navy right to him, and that was what the soldiers wanted all along.

"You have committed a wide array of crimes against the Crown, Sparrow," Norrington stated coldly, "And that sort of thing does not go unpunished under _my _command."

Jack began subtlety checking out his surroundings, trying to plan the best way of escape. "Why haven't you already clapped me in irons, Commodore?" Jack asked dryly.

"I figured that would upset Miss Oleander. She doesn't need to be worked up in her present condition. Especially since I am also the bringer of bad news."

"Bad news?"

"Her father has come down with pneumonia and at his old age, he is not getting any better. I fear his health has taken a turn for the worse. I want to bring her home immediately." Norrington paused, his face growing soft. "He has always been a good man, and he would be ecstatic to see his only daughter alive and well."

Another soldier came up the stairs, carrying a bayonet. "What news of the patient, sir?" he asked Norrington, making a point of avoiding the pirate.

"No news as of yet, Davis. You may sit with us, if you would like."

The young soldier nodded and sat on the floor, making sure to keep the bayonet close. He eyed Sparrow in distrust.

"Actually, that works out perfectly, mate," Jack replied, continuing the conversation. "I was hopin' that you'd take June off me hands."

"And why is that?" Norrington seemed a bit appalled.

Jack grinned and pulled a piece of paper out of his vest.

"Oh dear God," Norrington said, rolling his eyes, "If you say that's a treasure map, I'm going to have you hanged immediately. With whatever rope I can find."

"Fine then." Jack unfolded the parchment and said dramatically, "This _non-treasure map _is very valuable. Highly unique. One-of-a-kind. Was handwritten by pirate lass Mary Read herself and given to a young soldier that helped her up to her last breath."

Norrington looked half-intrigued.

"I'm willin' to give you part of the spoils if you agree not to arrest me or inflict any harm upon my person," Jack said nobly, "There's only one problem."

Norrington raised his eyebrows.

"I only have half the map," Jack admitted sheepishly.

"I have the other half," the soldier, Davis, suddenly piped up from his quiet corner.

Both men stared at him in alarm.

"The soldier who helped Mary Read, Jonathan Grisham, was my grandfather."

"Well, well, well." Jack licked his lips. "It's fate! How can you two pass up this adventure, eh?"

"Really, Sparrow," Norrington drawled, "Do you expect me to go treasure hunting with pirates?"

"I expect Mister Grisham here to help solve the mystery of Mary Read and make his late grandfather proud," Jack answered.

Both men didn't have a comeback to that.

"And the pirate lass?" Davis inquired, pointing to the closed door.

"That's _Miss Oleander_," Norrington corrected firmly, "And I shall provide her safe passage home. I suppose it all works out, really. I get her out of your hair and save her from your ungentlemanly wiles."

"And you get a portion of treasure if it is indeed found," Jack said with a flap of the torn map, "Unless you don't want it…"

"I don't need your treasure," Norrington muttered. "I would rather see it as not wanting to upset Miss Oleander."

"I knew you liked me, mate," Jack grinned.

Suddenly, the door creaked open and the doctor walked out, sighing. His apron and his fingers were stained with blood.

"How is she?" Jack jumped out of his chair. Both military men followed suit.

"Fine. Weak and unconscious. The blade managed to knick her kidney and cause a bit of internal bleeding. I have managed to stop it with surgery. She just needs a lot of bed rest to recover." He shook his head. "She's one lucky woman. A few millimeters deeper and she'd be dead for sure."

Another soldier rushed up the stairs with a new bowl of hot water and soap. The doctor continued to clean his hands thoroughly.

"Thank you for your help, Doctor Isaac," Norrington said, nodding his head in appreciation, "It is much appreciated. You have saved an old friend's life."

"Remember, much bed rest and as little movement as possible," Isaac warned, shaking a finger at him, "She should wake from the drugs I have given her in a couple of hours."

"May we enter?" Jack said, fidgeting impatiently.

"I'd prefer only one person to watch over her while I clean up a bit," Isaac said, "But perhaps she'd enjoy more visitors when she wakes up."

"Where's Miss Walker and Mister Turner?" Norrington asked.

"They are resting. I'll wake them later," Davis said with a smile, "They're in a room downstairs."

"Well, who's going to watch Miss Oleander for me, then?" Isaac questioned, looking eager to go clean up, "I would like to change my clothing."

Both men, Norrington and Sparrow, stepped towards the door. Immediately, they both glanced at each other and scowled.

* * *

Next chapter, prepare yourselves for a bit of Ana/Will fluff, and June crankily waking up from her gawd-awful surgery. The battle of masculinity between Norrington and Jack will ensue! Please review, ye scalawags!

Reviews to reviews time!

**CharlieBlackNails: **Hello, dearie! Haha, I try to be a temptress whenever I can. Will is certainly one of the most heroic of the bunch. And he has good aim. Yum.

**The DuTchess of Doom: **Cliffhanger, indeed. They are my favorite. Jack just doesn't know what he feels. You know how he is. Sure when it comes to rum and the sea, unsure on his feet and with his heart. And what's in store for our lovely Devon Duville, eh?

**Pirate Gyrl: **Haha, no, I'm not really mean. It's great to hear from you! I like Commodore Norrington. He's probably my second favorite male in POTC. I wonder who's the first…?

**Jack Sparrow's Pirate Chick: **Huzzah for unexpected pasts with handsome and heroic Commodores! Thanks for the review, me dear!

**Padme4000: **I'm glad you loved it! Yay!

**Leanan** **Sidhe: **Thanks for reviewing, chica! You know, I was thinking about your _From Hell _story the other day. That story was awesome. You should continue it sometime when your Abberline muse comes back. Haha, June lost her piratey accent! Not her English accent! That would be weird if June was from the future. Or if she was an alien! Whoaaa. That blows my mind. Harlot, eh? Who you calling a harlot you…you…you woman! (I'm not very good at insults)

**Anastasia Walker: **The AIM chats about this story fill my heart with warm mushiness. Hah. Thanks for the input, dudette. You rock hardcore.

**Sparrow'sVixon: **Hehe, wow indeed! You were bitten by the cliffhanger bug!

**Iheartdean: **Twists are the best. Like twists of lime, or lemon.

**Rynn:** Poor June, heck yes. Getting stabbed isn't fun. Even for pirates. Thanks for the review!

**Orlyluv: **I love the penname. O RLY? (an owl flies around) I hope I didn't keep you waiting too long!

**Remember How I Used To Be: **Hah, Jack's life just got a little better, now that he knows he has the second half of the map. Thanks for reviewing, dearie!

**Wanderer of the Roads: **Thanks, luv! I hope you liked how Commodore Norrington and June's pasts are connected. Their fates will soon become more intertwined! (foreshadowing, foreshadowing)

**Princess-Maiden: **I updated speedily! Yay! Thanks for reviewing, it is much appreciated.

**Senatorsarah: **What's a fanfic without two handsome males fighting? That's the best part! (teehee)

**Queso** **Blanco: **Thanks for following this story! That makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. I hope you liked the chapter!

**Felicitousmomento: **No dying. Yay! I updated ASAP, just like you asked. Thanks for reviewing.

**a-boy-named-sue: **Every six months, pooh pooh! I'm hoping to do away with that. I hope you like the new chapter and the new developments.

**That's all, I believe. If I missed you, know that I give you many hugs. Reviews are the best. **


	29. What an Endearing Reunion!

Disclaimer: I don't own Disney's characters and whatnot. Oh huzzah, almost less than a month until POTC 3!

A/N: The end of _Make Him Move On_ is in sight. But is it really over? Heck no, luvlies! I have a sequel in store because I can't leave it hanging like I'm planning to. Cliffhangers are just wonderful, don't you agree? (winks)

Thank you **orlyluv, Vanilla Sunset in the Sky, brunette-lady23, Princess-Maiden, lizzybizzybee, Pirate Gyrl, Black Wolf-Dog, rynn, Deathly Nightshade, CharlieBlackNails, Queso Blanco, HavingSaidThat, The DuTchess of Doom, a-boy-named-sue, sparrow's strumpet, Kait, and felicitousmomento **for your heartfelt reviews. If I missed anyone, thank you, too! Enjoy Chapter 29! Oh, and it gets a little lusty. Please take heed of the M rating.

Bring me that horizon,

PineAppleLint

* * *

Will Turner felt incredibly tense as he stared at the ceiling. And what reason did he have to be? After all, he was lying next to a beautiful woman on a comfortable mattress.

Oh, now he remembered. All of his friends were almost killed.

Rolling over to his side, he faced Ana. Even in sleep, her soft, exotic face appeared pained. He let out a breath and wiped a few beads of sweat from his brow. The room was sweltering despite the cool breeze wafting in from the window. Gently getting up, Will staggered over to the water pitcher and poured some in the paint-flaked basin. After splashing some on his face, he unbuttoned a few buttons of his shirt and tied back a few strains of loose hair.

"Mmmmm."

He glanced up at the sudden noise, watching as Ana murmured a bit in her sleep. When he joined her in bed once again, her eyes opened. She appeared startled.

"What are you doing?" she asked sleepily, "Is it time to go upstairs?"

"Sleep, Anastasia," Will said quietly, "They'll come get us when they're ready." He took a thumb and swiped it underneath her pouty bottom lip.

Smiling a little half-smile at him, she whispered, "I hope June's alright."

"She will be."

"Perhaps we should check to see if her surgery is over." She gazed worriedly at the door.

"You know what the doctor said. Mister Grisham was going to let us know when visitors are allowed. Until then, they don't want a multitude of people walking around up there."

"But I'm her good friend," Ana huffed. "I don't know why they let Jack stay."

"Because they knew he wouldn't have it any other way. He would cause a scene. You know that."

"And the Commodore?"

Will shrugged. "Apparently he's known June since childhood."

"Me too!"

"And the doctor is a bit of a sexist."

Ana bit her lip. "That would explain it, I suppose."

Will grinned at her flustered reaction.

"Sexism is not a humorous matter," Ana stated firmly.

Will slung an arm around her waist and pulled her close, pressing a chaste kiss to her cheek.

"I think we are in need of a chaperone," she said with a giggle.

"For a kiss on your cheek?" Will's grin widened. "How virginal of you."

Ana's jaw dropped. What right did he have to call her that? It sounded demeaning!

The instant he saw her expression change to one of irritation, he began to apologize. "I'm sorry, Anastasia. I didn't mean…"

"Of course you meant it, William Turner. I'm nothing but a naïve young woman who's completely ignorant about matters of the flesh." She rolled over onto her side, placing her back to him. "Get some sleep."

"Ana…" he groaned, "Don't act like this."

"Rest."

He let out a sigh of frustration and flopped onto his back, closing his eyes. He didn't want to deal with her crazy female mannerisms at that instant, so sleep was the only thing that could save him.

* * *

Ten minutes later, Will was almost in a deep sleep. He could feel it coming, the sweet bliss of unconsciousness...

…until he felt something solid rest onto his groin. Hissing in annoyance, he tried to roll over but he couldn't. Opening his eyes once more, Will found Ana straddling him.

"What is going on?" Will muttered groggily.

"I'm taking advantage of you," she whispered with a shameless smile, tying up her blonde curls while leaning in close to his mouth. "I'm going to kiss you. Understand? And I am the one in control, William Turner."

He glanced down to find her nimble fingers already working at unbuttoning the rest of his shirt. Wiping his face in disbelief, he could murmur a very manly "Huh?"

Ana let out a cackle of laughter as she peeled the fabric from his torso, exposing his tanned chest to the humid night air.

He made a feeble attempt to grab at her wrists, but she batted them away and shoved them up above his head. "Naughty naughty," she scolded before bending over and giving him a hard, demanding kiss. The simple fact that Will was gaping allowed her entry into his mouth.

Will's head was spinning. Who was this woman? Where did she learn those fancy movements with her curvy hips? Was that her damn tongue slithering around in his mouth?

"Virginal my ass," she breathed, nipping none-too-lightly on his earlobe. She grinned upon hearing his sharp intake of breath. "A woman's bound to pick up a few things when she's lived amongst those in the whoring profession."

She kissed him again, and this time he willingly responded. He matched each smooth caress of her lips and nip of her teeth. "Ah, finally warming up to me, Turner?" she asked with a quirked brow.

By that time, Will knew he wouldn't be able to hide the proof of his growing desire. After all, she was sitting on it. Meeting her fiery gaze, he grinned devilishly. "You seem to bring out the worst in me, Miss Walker."

When her lips found his chest, he couldn't help but bite back a groan. This fallen angel was shooting off every nerve in his body, with hers moving eagerly against his and her mouth as soft as flower petals.

"You are quite easy to take advantage of, William. Such a willing participant," Ana teased.

He stared up at her with an animalistic expression, taking in the soft flush of her cheeks and the tousled state of her hair. She was absolutely beautiful.

"Say that again," he said roughly, grabbing her hips.

"Say what?" she questioned, adorning a soft smile.

"My name like that."

"_William_." Ana shrieked when he suddenly flipped her over and she found herself on her back. His handsome face fell into the sleek curve of her throat, and he began painting her skin with kisses.

"You are certainly not a well-mannered hostage," she continued, her voice humming with lust.

"And you're not playing fair, Anastasia," Will replied mischievously, brushing a kiss against her collarbone. "If I'm to be shirtless, you have to be as well."

Before Ana could utter a syllable of disproval, she heard the knowing _rip_ echo throughout the room as her skin was exposed to his heated gaze. Shivering, she sat up, not knowing whether to be shocked that he'd just torn her shirt to shreds or that her breasts were almost completely revealed to him.

Will must have been thinking about the exact same thing, because a quick slide of his fingers against her skin and the cotton support garment vanished.

She turned pink as he obviously took in her half-nude form with hungry eyes.

"Anastasia, you're perfect." And then he scooped her up into his arms.

The skin-on-skin contact was heavenly, Ana realized as he thoroughly indulged in her mouth once more. She could only clutch the sheets in awe as his mouth moved lower, and lower still…

Someone knocking on the door startled them out of their passionate reverie. Groaning, Will hurriedly lifted his head and tossed her ruined shirt to her.

"And what am I supposed to do with this?" she scoffed, holding up the torn fabric.

He shot her a look while shrugging on his own shirt. Opening the door a crack, he made sure to shield the doorway with his body. "Yes?" It was Mister Grisham.

"Miss Oleander's surgery is over, sir." Grisham looked the disheveled man up and down, and added with a knowing smile, "I'm sorry if I rudely interrupted anything."

"We were resting, Mister Grisham. Thank you for alerting us. We shall be up at once."

The soldier bowed and left instantly, smirking as he heard the door shut behind him. Working his way up the stairs, he almost tripped over Sparrow when he got to the second floor.

Jack was casually sprawled out, back against the wall, his boots tapping to an imaginary song as he tried to pass the time. Glancing up at Davis Grisham, he squinted with kohl-lined eyes. "Well, boy?"

"I win," Grisham stated, sticking out a palm.

"Dammit." Fishing a couple of coins from his pocket, Jack placed them into his hand. "I thought the boy would be too nervous to initiate anything. Or at least for darling Ana to grow uneasy of his sexual frustrations."

Counting his money dramatically, Grisham only smiled as he settled in next to Jack on the floor.

"Don't rub it in, you military pansy," Jack grumbled.

* * *

June was dying. At least she felt like she was dying. Someone needed to go ahead and knock her out with a very large, cliché hammer. Or perhaps a few drugs of questionable nature. In her state of half-consciousness, she grinned when she remembered that one time in Polynesia…

"June? Are you awake?" a masculine voice whispered to her right.

When her eyes opened, the searing pain grasped her and she clenched her teeth. It was entirely too bright, too. Who was shining a fucking light in her eyes? Oh dear God. Was she supposed to run away from the light?

"Are you awake?" the voice repeated firmly.

"Sonovabitch! I am now!" she groaned, afraid to move. What happened? Why wasn't she dying? Whose bed was this? Did she sleep with the owner of that man's voice? Was HE the one who stabbed her?!

"Don't stab me again!" she said, her voice on the edge of panic.

As her eyes adjusted, she noticed the prim and proper-looking man coming to her aid. Then her mouth dropped as Norrington's concerned face swam into view. She remembered now.

"James," she whispered, "I thought I had dreamt you up."

Norrington pulled up a chair and seated himself. He grabbed her clammy hand and held it tight. She was studying him, and he let her. He was so grown up now. His face had lost all traces of boyishness, leaving behind a stern-looking, handsome man. His eyes seemed tired, however, like he had seen too much during his years. Taking in his attire, she smiled. So he finally made it to the rank of Commodore.

"Scrambling up the chain of command, I see," she remarked in admiration, "You were always working so hard for the Navy. I'm glad to see they're treating you well."

"June," he said softly, "Do you need water? Anything?"

"Water would be nice," she admitted. He instantly got up and poured her a glass of it, bringing it to her lips. It slipped down her throat, chilling it.

"Refreshing, thank you," she replied as he sat back down next to her. He still didn't say anything for a while. "Why the silence?" she added.

"We all thought you passed away, June."

"I almost did," she pointed out. "Actually, I've almost died on numerous occasions. But I'm too tired to go into that now."

"Why did you do it?" Norrington suddenly asked. He looked a bit angry. Betrayed. His eyes wouldn't meet her face. "Wasn't Port Royal good enough for you?"

"No."

His expression told her that he was surprised by her blunt answer. "I loved everyone there, James," she continued. "You know that. I just had to get out and breathe for a bit."

"By turning pirate?" He gently touched her wrist where her "P" scar remained, a reminder of harder times.

So he knew.

"James…" she began, "I…I was hopelessly naïve when I left home. I admit that. I didn't know what I was getting myself into. But it grew on me. And I…I ended up loving the lifestyle, actually."

"What did you get yourself into?"

"Stories for another time. I'm not sure I'm ready to reveal them to you quite yet."

"And why bloody not?"

"You hang pirates, James," June said quietly, her eyes suddenly exhibiting the innocence he remembered in her as a youth, "I don't want you to be ashamed of me and what I've done. After all of the less than noble deeds I've committed, I could be one of those pirates hanging from your noose."

"June…" he suddenly pressed a warm kiss to her cheek, "I don't care what you tell me or don't tell me. I'm just glad that you're safe."

She grinned. "So you missed me, then?"

"Horribly. We needed someone to keep things interesting. It grew rather dull around the Westshire Estate once you left."

June's grin faded. "How's my father?"

Norrington stroked her hand with his fingers and answered, "To tell you the truth, June, he isn't well. He's come down with pneumonia and…"

"…I have to go back," she finished, coming to her own conclusions.

"Yes. The doctor especially recommends it. You need to recover, and you need to see your father. He needs to know you're alive."

June nodded slowly. It was a harsh blow to be dealt. Here she was, just getting out of a rough spot and having to deal with her mortality, and now her father was dying. June blinked a few times and stared down at the cotton blanket pulled up to her chest. She had missed her eccentric father terribly. After her mother had died at a young age, he was the only family she had. They had stuck together.

And then she left. June had always felt a pang of guilt for leaving everything behind so suddenly, especially for leaving her father.

"Well…onto more pleasant things." Her grin returned. "I've missed you. And Kade! How's Kade?"

"Currently the best shipwright in the Caribbean. Who knew my clumsy oaf of a little brother had such talents?" Norrington grinned back. "He actually accompanied us to Barcelona. He had a few clients to take care of."

"It's so great to be able to see you again, James," June said in amusement, "I've missed beating your sorry arse in swordplay."

"Oh, I've gotten much better, I assure you," Norrington said wickedly, "So I believe a rematch is in order after you regain your strength."

"Of course. Perhaps Kade can join in, too. You may need another man on your side in order to beat me," June replied cockily, "You're not the only one who's gotten better."

"Don't bet on it. I would love to catch up more, June, but a rather aggravated Sparrow is sitting in the hallway waiting to see you."

"Why didn't he just come in?" June questioned with a shrug.

"The doctor wanted only one person to watch you while he retrieved his things. I won the coin toss," Norrington said with a wink. "And Sparrow threw a big tiff about it, which made my day."

June laughed, wincing when the laughter hit her stomach. "Do you both have a past or something I don't know about?"

"That's a long story," Norrington answered, getting up from his chair. He shuffled his feet a bit before saying, "It's _your _past with Captain Sparrow that I'm worried about."

June turned red in an instant, and Norrington contemplated this in silence. So she loved him, the poor woman. Why did Sparrow have to play with the hearts of all the women he had in his life?

"Ah, I'll go get Sparrow, then."

"That would be much appreciated, thank you."

Norrington studied her for a moment. There was a certain roughness to her voice, he realized, that wasn't a result from her surgery or the traumatic events of the night before. She sounded…weathered. Sea-stricken. She sounded like one of _them_. Only faintly though, like she was hiding it between the syllables of her British accent.

He continued to open the door behind him, and a flustered Sparrow immediately swaggered through, turning on his heels to reprimand the dear Commodore. "Took long enuff, didn't you?" he scowled. Turning to find June all tucked into bed and conscious, he said grandly, "My sweet! I expected to hear some wailing and hollering when you awakened. I am grateful that you took our ear drums into consideration."

"Sod off, you bastard," she said with narrowed eyes. She attempted to growl it, but it just didn't come off as threatening as she wanted it to.

"So the devil banshee returns!" Jack said giddily, sashaying over to the side of the bed, "That's a good sign."

"Sparrow, really. Must you mock her during her present state?" Norrington muttered.

"See?" June sniffed. "At least I have a gentleman looking out for me."

"You know I'm no gentleman, luv. Remember all those romantic nights together? Our bodies all entwined and sweaty?" Jack asked with a malicious sparkle in his eye.

June's eyes widened and she shot him a glare that read: _What the FUCK are you doing?!_

The pair sent a quick glance to Norrington, and apparently he had managed to overhear that little tidbit. Teeth clenched, he rigidly forced himself out of the room before fists flew.

"Really, Jack. Why did you go and upset him like that?" June cried, clearly exhausted from the entire hubbub.

_I don't like the cad being so close to you_, he thought with a frown. "Because I'm a bastard like you said," Jack said instead. He sat in the chair and propped his feet up on her mattress.

She made a face and said, "You really have to clean those boots, Jack. They make me want to gag."

"You're jealous and you know it," he said with a grin. "By the way, I thought you'd like to know that I found the other half of my map." She shot him another death glare and he amended, "_Our map_." The glare didn't waver. "Fine, bugger it. _Your map_."

"That's not my number one concern right now. Even though I'd like to know how you managed to find it."

Jack glowered. "One of the soldier pansies had it. Anywho, that's not important. I know you have to get better and whatnot. But what about afterwards?"

"Jack…my father is dying."

That sure shut him up. "Oh." He twiddled his thumbs uncomfortably. "My apologies."

"I have to go home for a little while…take care of some business. But I assure you, I'll take care of the treasure after that."

_Not if I can help it. _Jack slapped on the biggest smile he could muster. "Sounds delicious, luv." He leaned in and pressed a quick kiss to her mouth. "As delicious as a good lay wit' you."

She rolled her eyes and made a grab for his hand. "No matter how big of an ass you are, Jack, I really value everything you've done for me."

_Aw, fuck. This isn't making things any easier. _"Great!" he replied with a pat of her hand, "No problem whatsoever." _Perhaps I should stay. _His heart began toying with his mind, and his mind began screaming about treasure and whatnot. _Not all treasure is silver and gold…what an idiotic statement_.

Jack leaned in and locked lips with her again, and she melted under the pressure of his mouth. _Take what you can…_

"None of that now," she said with a teasing lilt to her voice, "I'm confined to bed rest. Don't get me all excited."

_...give nothing back. Decision made. _"I will allow all the exquisite parts of your anatomy to fully recover, luv. I promise."

She smiled at Jack's flamboyant statement and suddenly looked over his shoulder at the doorway. Her smile widened as she cried, "Kade!"

Jack glanced at the person entering and emitted a loud groan. It took just one glance at the man and he knew he was related to the blasted Commodore. He was a few inches shorter, broad-shouldered, with darker brown hair tied up with ribbon. Blue eyes complimented an exquisitely handsome face that wasn't as rigid as the Commodore's. The man was tanned, all muscle…apparently used to working outside.

"Dammit!" Jack almost shouted in exasperation. All eyes in the room were on him, waiting for an explanation. "Will men who are almost as handsome as me _STOP ENTERING THE BLOODY ROOM?!_"

* * *

Haha. One more chapter to go, so please review, especially if you don't normally do so. I know you're out there! Mwahaha! I would love to hear what everyone thought of the story and what they think the sequel will be like. Criticism? Comments? Concerns? Laugh out Loudness? Go for it! 


	30. Redemption

Disclaimer: I do not own any of Disney's delicious, piratey, super-duper awesome characters. When will the corporation fall and the obsessed fans reign supreme? (receives a letter from Disney, promptly opens it and reads) Aw, what a darling Mickey Mouse letterhead! Let me see here…Disney says it will never happen because they are solely responsible for Jack's physical safety. Darn.

Author's Note: Gather round, readers and writers! Gather round and grab a mug o' rum! A toast to you, lovely reviewers…without you, this story would not have sprung to life like it did. These 30 chapters of pure mayhem have been so much fun to write, and they wouldn't nearly have been as fun without you all. May the gallantry of Will Turner, sweet generosity of Anastasia Walker, the self-confidence of June Oleander and the wits of Captain Jack Sparrow be instilled in your hearts always!

(Downs the rum and instantly sputters) Phew…on with the show!

* * *

His thumb lightly smoothed over the edge of his mustache as he took comfort in the repetitive action. The coarse, bristly hairs scratched at his skin. He figured it would have hurt, had the pads of his fingers not been so callused.

Jack's eyes, dark and stormy, darted back and forth between Mister Kade Norrington and his woman. The man stood undeniably too close to her bedside. Every once in a while, when June's face was lit with laughter, he'd lay a strong hand on top of her own.

Yes, they had used to be acquaintances; they needed time to catch up, all that nonsense. But June had not hesitated to wave Jack out of the room like he was nothing but an annoying little boy.

All the more reason to strengthen his own convictions.

A scuffle of shoes caused Jack to glance up at the retreating man. Kade's eyes locked onto his as Kade said stiffly, "Mind if I have a word with you, Captain…Sparrow?"

Jack replied, "Mind? I certainly do not _not__mind_."

Kade blinked a couple of times at his answer before saying gruffly, "Not in front of the lady, please." He promptly shut the door behind him and straightened the collar of his starched shirt.

"She is no lady, I'll remind…" The words promptly died in his throat as Kade threw him against the far wall with astounding strength. A doorknob was shoved into the small of Jack's back, causing him to yelp in surprise.

"I should kill you, you bastard," Kade growled, his expression furious. His white teeth bared in a snarl.

"And what crime, exactly, have I committed?" Jack questioned in a bored tone.

"You have done your best to try and ruin her, haven't you? You couldn't keep your filthy hands off of her and now she almost died because of it!"

"Pardon me, _Kade_, but she managed to turn pirate before she ever sashayed into me life." Jack shoved the man off of him and fought to keep his internal violent urges in check. He mockingly added, "The job was done for me."

Kade fumed, his broad shoulders trembling with the desire to hit the smirking pirate in front of him. "I am taking her home. She is going to get a second chance."

"A second chance at what? The exact same thing she ran from?"

Kade stepped up to the pirate captain, silently sizing him up. "She ran from nothing. She just made a foolish mistake. We all make them." He paused. "She's a wonderful woman..."

"A devil siren," Jack interrupted.

"She's a better woman than you give her credit for," Kade finished coldly. "She deserves a second chance to rebuild her esteem within society. We will wash her of the foul deeds she committed."

Jack immediately pictured June in a large tub of water, with Kade running a moist cloth across her sinewy torso. His fists tightened in hatred for the man.

"You don't know what you're sayin'," Jack responded in a low voice, his hand tightening on the hilt of his sword. "You're a blind man."

"Quite the contrary, Mister Sparrow. I clearly recognize her chance at redemption, just as I clearly recognize your miserable excuse of an existence."

The sword was immediately drawn and placed at Kade's throat. Before Jack could even think about cutting him, two pairs of arms dragged him away. Glancing wildly behind him, Jack realized it was James Norrington and Will Turner. A bewildered Anastasia watched on.

"It's a shame you never got to hang him, brother," Kade said calmly, massaging his throat, "The world would be a much better place without him."

Jack furiously shrugged the two men off and began gathering his effects.

"Jack," Anastasia cried, "What is wrong with you? Attacking Mister Norrington like that!"

"Turner, Miss Ana…come wit' me," Jack demanded, shoving his worn tricorne hat onto his skull. They both followed him into a corner opposite of the Norrington men, watching his every move curiously.

"Explain yourself, Jack," Will ordered, looking entirely too cross for his own good.

"You both need to come wit' me. I'm goin' after the treasure."

"But…Jack, June cannot go with you," Anastasia said gently, resting a hand on his shoulder, "You know that."

"Precisely. I'm finishing the hunt alone. If you two choose to help me, I'll give you each ten percent of the profits."

Neither spoke for quite a long time.

"Well?!" Jack sputtered impatiently.

"How can you think of doing such a thing?" Ana whispered, utterly horrified by his actions. "She…she cares for you."

"It's _her _map!" Will reminded him.

"Trifles. It all works out in the end, really. This…game of infatuation needs to stop. The map has time and time again fallen into my possession." He grinned. "How can I pass that up, right?"

"If you want to leave, Sparrow. Just leave. Now," Will said quietly.

"I'll take that as a 'no' from you. Anastasia?" He peered down at the young woman anxiously. She wouldn't even meet his eyes.

"Fine. Don't say I didn't ask. Ta!" He turned on his heels and began making his way down the stairs.

"She'll never forgive you for this!" Anastasia called down to him, clearly upset.

Clasping the faded map in the front pocket of his coat, Captain Jack Sparrow didn't even bother to turn around. "I know."

* * *

_A week later…_

Her hands gripped the back of a chair as Anastasia nimbly buttoned each button of the light cotton dress. The dull cream color did nothing to enhance June's features that had paled from injury.

"A few hundred more to go," Anastasia joked half-heartedly, concentrating on the task at hand. "At least you don't have to wear a corset…you sure got off easy because of your surgery."

"And I'd much prefer the surgery over wearing a corset any day of the week," June laughed, "Christ. I might as well just rip the damn dress off at the end of the day. I'm not wasting my time with those damn buttons."

"You'll have someone to help you. There…I'm done." Anastasia stepped away and admired her handiwork.

June groaned as she turned around. "Will someone be helpin' me wit' the chamber pot, too?"

"Your accent," Anastasia said with a smile. "It comes back when you're all riled up."

"I have a right to be riled up, dearie. It's not every day I go back home to see my father after a stretch of…hmmm...about nine years." June rested solidly on the desk behind her, studying her good friend. "Someone sure has a certain glow about her this morning."

Ana blushed and studied herself in the mirror. Beginning to comb her hair with her fingers, she chose to ignore June's statement.

"Have you been exchangin' a bit o' spit wit' Mister Turner?"

"June!"

"I thought so. I've known you two were sharin' a room. What I didn't know was that it was gettin' so heated! So…tell all! You strip him naked yet?"

"June, please. We have some amount of decency. It's not like when you and Jack…"

The mood of the room instantly thickened. June's face was wiped clean of the teasing smile she possessed only moments ago.

"Oh, June," Ana murmured sympathetically, "I am so sorry. I didn't mean to…"

June held up a hand, hiding her face from view as she glanced out the window. "Don't." Taking a few solid breaths, she added, "Are we ready to head to the dock? I believe I'm ready."

"Will will be here…"

"Speak no further." Will Turner replied as he and James Norrington entered the room. "Kade said that the ship is ready."

"Shall I escort you, milady?" James said with a mockingly gallant bow.

"James, stop being such a stuffy idiot," June chided, grabbing his bicep. She needed to rely on some of his strength during their travels, even though she didn't want to admit it.

Ana grasped Will's hand and breathed, "Finally. We'll be going home at last."

June glanced up at her friends, new and old. She immediately felt something within her struggle to remain the same during a world that demanded so much and so little of its occupants. As they left that aged, creaky inn in Barcelona, she looked over her shoulder and felt like a piece of her had stayed behind.

When she woke up from a fitful sleep a few nights back, she already knew a part of her was lost forever. Only when Anastasia brokenly told her of Sparrow's flight did she truly understand it.

The ship came into view, and a renewed sense of dread settled over her. Would she have to abandon everything she had learned those past nine years? Would she have to settle back into the daily ritual of ignorance and naiveté? June felt the cold, golden buttons along Commodore Norrington's sleeve and brought herself back to the present.

As if sensing her hesitation, James asked, "My dear, are you quite alright?"

Staring him straight in the eye, June Oleander answered, "This better fucking be worth it."

* * *

Check out my other fics that I'm trying to finish as well. There's "Trade with the Devil" and "A Little Too Much Rum."

Here are some other fics that are absolutely fantastic. Take a gander:

"Peacock's Plumage" by piewacket. Anything by piewacket is incredible.

"PH3: Vicki and Rachel Choke a Bitch" by CharlieBlackNails. Her accomplice is LeananSidhe. Very funny writers. Check out the first two in the series, too.

"How to Tame the Untamable" by The DuTchess of Doom. She really gives a pirate woman some sass!

Keep on the look out for a sequel. It's been a pleasure!

-PineAppleLint

Reviews for Reviews:

The DuTchess of Doom: The gentleman and the pirate, indeed. Looks like the pirate won. But that was to be expected, I suppose. There will be interesting developments in the sequel, though! Mark my words!

Thanks for being such an awesome reviewer, Angie. Your cyber review hugs from Holland are the best cyber review hugs around! If you ever need any help with How to Tame the Untamable, just let me know. It's going great so far…you truly have a talent!

Mandy: I am honored, luv. Honestly. I am honest about not being dishonest in my honesty. Yay sequels! They warm my soul, as do your reviews. Thanks so much!

Vixter: Thank you for the compliments! I will try to produce the sequel as fast as I can!

Jamsey: Isn't Jack's ego just hilarious? Trust June to flatten it a little, especially in the sequel. (cackles evilly) We'll see about June and Norrington, won't we?

SparrowMuse: Oh, huzzah to waking your neighbors! That's exactly the reaction I was going for, dearie. And you read piewacket's stuff too! Good stuff! She's amazing with diction, don't you agree?

Emma: I'm glad you found this story out of the pirates pile! And you liking it is even better. I'm glad you like Will and Ana's relationship…they are certainly a cute pair.

Queso Blanco: Indeed, sequels! I can't leave it hanging like that, can I? That would be extraordinarily evil, and I can't have that.

Felicitousmomento: Thanks for being such a wonderful reviewer, luv! It's greatly appreciated.

CharlieBlackNails: Ha! You're so funny. I giggled like a silly scone when I read your review. If scones could giggle, I would be giggling like one. Hot Ana-and-Will-finally-DOING IT action? We shall see, won't we? I am planning to mature the sequel a bit, so we shall see!

Brunette-lady23: Thank you so much! It's been fun getting to ready your heartfelt reviews. I really appreciate it!

Black Wolf-Dog: I totally agree with you. I'm starting to think that the prim and proper Commodore is a sultry minx, but you are right: No one can compare to the sauciness that is Captain Jack Sparrow.

Pirate Gyrl: Jack IS such a boob! But the mixture of ego, wits and handsome chivalry is what we love about him. The semester is over, but summer classes prevail! It's going to be a busy one, but I will definitely try to update more frequently from now on. Thanks for being such a wonderful reviewer-I always love hearing from you!

Anastasia Walker: Yay! I'm a minx! We're going to have a POTC 3 party, woohoo! Can't wait for May 24th!

Senatorsarah: Someone has to torture Jack, whether it be me as the writer or June as his sultry nemesis. He needs that ego deflated every now and then. Hey, do you want to be a senator? I always wondered that about your penname. That would be neato. You could pass piratey bills in Congress.

Deathly Nightshade: Haha, that's very nice of you! If pirates come after me, will they be sexy pirates? Like a Sparrow pirate? (winks) Thanks for being such a consistent reviewer. I've really enjoyed receiving them. I'll be seeing you at the sequel!

Sparrow's strumpet: I apologize you had such a bad day, and I'm sorry to hear that! It's a good thing I updated when I did! As for incorporating these stories with the movies, I'll have to really think that one out. I would definitely like to see some of the Davy Jones' story incorporated, or perhaps more on Jack's past with the East India Trading Company. Thanks for the idea, and for being such a wonderful reviewer. You're so helpful!

Orlyluv: Yay! I'm glad you found it humorous. That's probably why I liked writing this story the best. I can make the characters as maniacal as possible. I've enjoyed reading all your reviews, luv!

HavingSaidThat: Thanks for reading and reviewing, I really appreciate it. I'll be seeing you at the start of the sequel, and don't be afraid to give me any valuable criticism!

I'll see you in Zurich: Ana and Will action steam up my laptop screen. Whew! Haha, I expect more of that in the sequel. Thanks for the review!

Padme4000: I appreciate your reviews, dearie. Thanks for them all-they warm my heart!

Wanderer of the Roads: Yay, falling out of chairs! That's always fun. What if there were a thousand Norringtons and they made a Norrington army? Kinda freaky! Thanks for being such an avid reviewer!

SparrowsVixon: Laugh Out Loudness is the best. Thanks for reviewing and following this story…I hope I'll be seeing you at the sequel!

Depp's darlin: Thanks for reviewing, dearie! I hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it (which was quite a bit, I assure you).

Shiori-inu-kawaiipet: Anastasia is a lovely name! Drinks all around! Thanks for reading!

Edie'sGarage: You are a lovely reviewer! I appreciate your review from the bottom o' me scurvy heart.

To anyone else I have forgotten, thanks very much!


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